News Bullets, you are not Tiger Woods Tuesday;

OK Washington, I've got a bone to pick with you. It's barely raining and yet many people decide to break out the golf umbrellas. Come on now. I'm happy for you that you enjoy Titleist golf balls, but if you're walking down a crowded sidewalk and don't have a family of 10 under that umbrella, save that for the U.S. Open. I see you coming down the sidewalk in a suit (without a coat, because coats are for suckers) and your massive umbrella, knocking everyone else's puny peasant umbrellas out of the way. Except me, I didn't even deploy my umbrella (because it wasn't really raining). That will leave both of my hands free to do a nice quiet golf clap when your bigass umbrella gets stuck in a tree and you get pissed.

Now let's take a look at the day's news.

Triple shooting in Southeast leaves one dead. A 24-year-old man was killed, and two others injured in a shooting near 23rd Street and Savannah Terrace, SE. The other victims, aged 41 and 19 are expected to survive. Following the shooting, police were searching for a man dressed all in black. Surprisingly, it appears that search has not yet yielded an arrest.

Bishop Harry Jackson taken to school at gay marriage hearing. Harry Jackson, a "recent" DC resident and anti-gay marriage advocate was smacked down by at-large Councilmember David Catania. Jackson insists that it's important for the District to put gay marriage on the ballot, and have all residents vote on the matter. Jackson even evoked Martin Luther King to make his point. Catania then asked Jackson if he was aware of the last time the rights of a minority were put to the test on a ballot. Jackson said he did not know. Catania was more than happy to tell him, it was in 1865 and District residents voted against extending voting rights to freed African-Americans. Catania then asked Jackson how many times he had voted in the District, the answer of course being none. Thanks to the CityPaper for some excellent coverage.

Battle lines drawn in Council versus Fenty skirmish, and NBC Washington is there with an offensive headline. The saga over Parks and Recreation continues to unfold, with Fenty's extention of Ximena Hartsock's employment by another 180 days. In response, Councilmember Cheh (D-Ward 3) remarked the appearance of a "lawless administration." AG Peter Nickles took exception to this, calling her statements stupid and characterizing her as an "angry woman." Our favorite DC news source NBC4, writes it up under the headline "D.C. Catfight." A sexist article asking if the AG is sexist. Awesome. Also, if you're having a hard time wrapping your head around the whole Council versus Fenty battle and how Hartsock plays into it, I have a summary of the whole mess.

It has been six years since Walter E. Washington died. He's got a convention center named after him, but we still don't have good government in D.C. Sad that in the six years since his death, and the four mayors that have followed, no one has come close to honoring his legacy.

Loose Lips Daily celebrates one year of insane political coverage. Congrats, Mike.

Fedex Field surrendered to Philadelphia. The Redskins continue to make their case as the worst team in the NFL this season. It doesn't matter who calls the plays if the people on the field can't execute them. Or even catch a ball. Or even execute a snap correctly.


  1. OMG YES about the umbrellas. I saw some douche almost take out three people's eyeballs in the span of two blocks this morning. And it wasn't raining!

  2. Catania for mayor? wait, no, can we get Al Franken? I just love some intelligent snark.

  3. I swear I lift my gigantic golf umbrella so I don't poke your eye out. I really do.