1.12.2005

Our city is not like other cities

In other cities, people have jobs that are productive and useful to society. People can manufacture goods, or be plumbers, or maybe artists. But they don't have what we have: the bullshit trade.

You heard about Armstrong Williams, right? You probably did, and I don't have to link it in. Brother got $240,000 from the DOE to spin up No Child Left Behind.

Two hundred and forty thousand. In taxpayer dollars, no less. To simply talk up a piece of legislation that had already passed. $240,000. That's more than Congressmen make in a year. And he didn't even have to write the damn law.

Oh, and the main criticism of NCLB? Is that it's underfunded. You couldn't make this shit up.

$240,000. Oh, how I would love to have that money. I have got to get on the take. I can't compete with all these motherfuckers who are on the take. Housing prices are going up 15-20 percent per year. You know what my raise was last year? Four percent. I'm never getting a house, and my main financial problem appears to be that I'm not taking any funds to produce covert propaganda.

Uggh. And, predictably, Williams doesn't think he did anything wrong, and certainly won't be paying back the money, of course. And the administration hasn't said a thing about the situation. You know there are others on the take like this. This town is surely lousy with "commentators" who are being paid off by the government (Williams admitted as much). They don't even have to do anything, really; just use their influence to spin up government policy. That ain't workin'. Lookatthat, lookatthat.

I had always wondered how black Republicans could justify being black and Republican simultaneously. Now I know how it's possible: they're getting fucking bribed. Williams even got his start as an aide to Strom Thurmond, and we know how much he loved black people. (Hmm, "loved black people" can mean so many things in this context.) When you willingly work for a man who believes your race is inferior, there's got to be some kind of graft going on.

Anyway, so that was a hoot. The other excruciating thing that happened in the past week was when Bush told D.C. that it would have to dip into its own funds to pay for securing his inaguration. The District's going to have to divert $12 million in homeland security funds to cover it.

Can you tell I'm trying to restrain myself? I can't even use any of my trademark hyperbolic violent threats, lest I get a visit from the Secret Service. Stupid country.

"Hey, black people! You didn't vote for me, huh? Well, how about paying for my little party? BWAH HA HA HAAAAA!" said the President.

I give up. I wash my hands of this entire affair. This country fucking blows. After living here, I really hate it now. And I used to like it. I promise. After seeing how it really operates, I'm planning on moving to a shack in the Yukon, curling up in the fetal position, and sobbing to myself quietly.

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