6.01.2007

I Heard the News Today, Oh Boy

The news being that today is the 40th anniversary of the release of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. I don't know how many baby boomers read this (Hi Dad!), but, man, you guys are old. Maybe this Beatles-centric editorial in today's Post will cheer you up! It's quite excellent once you move past the cutsey games the author is playing with Beatles lyrics.

Seriously, is there anything more annoying than someone who says they're not into The Beatles? I pride myself on being a contrarian for the sake of being a contrarian, but not thinking The Beatles are the greatest thing to happen to music in the 20th Century is going too far. They are the only band that can't be overrated or underrated because they are, correctly, rated number one. I bristle whenever some British music magazine blasphemously declares some unknown band to be the next Beatles. It's very optimistic to think that we'll get another Beatles in the next fifty. If we're lucky enough to hear it happen, we'll fucking know it immediately. Their genius is that apparent.

Anyways, on to DC stuff. Last Tuesday I posted a link to the most recent LSS journalism abortion to appear in the Post's Health section. I only posted a link and not my usual cut-and-paste criticisms because I was lazy coming off of a three day weekend and I thought I had used up any and every LSS criticism under the sun. Well, DCeiver has proven me wrong. I strongly urge you to read his take on that stupid little article. It's brilliant. Please make sure to check the comments out as well.

And more good news! It appears Washington's favorite common whore has declared bankruptcy. Oh, Jessica Cutler, we hardly knew ye!

The Jessica Cutler saga was Exhibit A in why I found DC to be so despicable. Here we have a woman whose only bankable skills were here vagina and her asshole which she allowed anyone to penetrate if it meant paying her bills or advancing her up the peon ladder on Capitol Hill. She was nothing more than a prostitute. And when she was found out she became a DC celebrity. The Washington news cycle devoured itself and created its own little sordid shitstorm. If this happened anywhere else, no one would have given two shits. In DC, where we're starved for scandal, this is front page news.

Worse yet, in some kind of post-feminist (or post-post feminism? I'm losing track) nightmare, some people praised her for using her sexuality and wits to get ahead. Really? Hell, I could sleep with people for money. It's not that hard. I am cuter than her too.* I could probably make a pretty penny if I weren't weighed down by, you know, self-respect. Cutler was able to turn her amoral lifestyle into a book deal and a Playboy spread. It looked like she had come out on top. I am ecstatic that she was able to make all the dirty money she earned disappear. She didn't deserve a penny of what she earned. Maybe we'll get lucky and this'll be the last we hear of her. Unfortunately, I doubt it.

*Subjective, but probably true. It probably helps if you prefer penises to vaginas.

6 comments:

  1. I'm not into the Beatles, and there are plenty of things more annoying than me.

    Starting with all the melodramatic boomer self-loathing/self-flagellating nostalgia coursing through our nation's arteries the last decade or so.

    Example A: The last 629 issues of Newsweek Magazine.

    Plus Coldplay. They're so much more fucking annoying than I am.

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  3. I don't know what this says about me, but she made ME semi-hard when I met her, and I'm gay. Mostly.

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  4. i think the beatles are overrated.

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  5. the beatles are definitely overrated. any artist that confines himself to the studio and refuses to perform live is not a true musician.

    and that shea stadium concert that was so "big"? they played for less than 30 minutes. what a ripoff.

    with that said, i do enjoy the white album.

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  6. overrated.

    on a side note, not all musicians enjoy performing. some of us had pageant mommies, ok?

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