D.C. residents may mock country folk, but they envy our guns....

I grew up in a place where everyone had at least a couple guns around for purposes of "protection" and "tradition." As far as I can remember, there were only two gun-related accidents. More importantly, there were NO BURGLARIZED HOMES, before I escaped my ancestral lands, never to return.

Depending on who you ask, that put my people at either, "Robbers 0, Us -2." Or "Love All." Because some would say that yes, we never shot a robber, but the robbers never tried anything because they KNEW we had guns. (And yes, the "some" quoted are reasonably close relatives of mine).

So. Yeah. If you want a gun, and you are willing to bet that you will be in the .000000002 percent of the population who has access, skill and opportunity to protect themselves or others from crime with a gun, rather than the rest of the yahoos who just shoot themselves in the ankle cleaning it, or shoot grandma when they think they hear an intruder, or shoot the neighbor's dog because motive and opportunity happened to occur a little too close together..." Well, if you're willing to take your chances, be my guest.

I just wanted to say that wonkette had quite a funny post about the whole thing.


  1. I don't own guns 'cause I like to drink and the temptation to fire them in the air while yelling, "Fuck yeah!" is just too great.

    I must refrain.

  2. Like you I grew up in gun country. I only know of once that a gun was used to commit a crime. And that was a crime of passion when the man doing the shooting killed his girlfriend after she announced that she was leaving her husband to marry the shooter. And that the baby belonged to the shooter. So maybe he thought he had a good reason to shoot her. Anyway, I digress.

    There were rifles and shotguns in the window of nearly every pick up truck in my high school parking lot. Most of them were loaded. None of them were ever fired on, near, or at the campus. If some ass hole had decided to go Columbine (or VA Tech) he'd never made it inside the building. I'm just saying.

  3. TC,

    I sympathize with your sentiment but in a Columbine situation those rifles would have been useless back out in the parking lot. That's what handguns are for.

  4. Guns are for people with no sense of themselves...Ok, I'll admit it... I can't get one haha! :D. Anyways I just found this blog and it really "rawks" so...I'll be checking it out... I never EVER subscribe to blogs or RSS but this time I'll bookmark this.

  5. Was this post in favor of liberalizing the gun laws in DC, or against?

    I've got one shotgun at my apartment here (um, unloaded and disassembled, in case Fenty's goons are reading).

    But I have to keep my real arsenal at my folks' place in MD.

  6. "Was this in favor..."

    I am so used to guns that I can't see banning them. I am also pretty much over the idea that they are much use for protection.

    So I dont' care about the law's level of liberalization. But I also don't like it when people kid themselves about being well protected because they have guns around. My family wasn't robbed because we were poor and so far away from everything that it was inconvenient to drive out to get our stuff. Now that meth has hit the countryside, we probably will eventually be robbed because a meth head isn't capable of thinking straight.

  7. Well, I'm safer with my gun at home. Not "kidding" anyone on that point. I don't clean loaded guns, and my grandma lives in a nursing home. The only people with any business entering our place are me and my wife. So irrespective of agenda-driven data about gun accidents, I am personally safer by virtue of access to my gun.

    Of course there's a miniscule chance that someone will break into my place while I'm there. But that's life. My neighborhood this year has had three homes broken into by a rapist. There are plenty of doors out there for the desperate hoodlums/crack heads to target, and mine probably won't be one, but just in case, I'm safer than I would be relying on a baseball bat or a knife.

    With my level of training, I'm much more confident about aiming a gun at an intruder from a distance and explaining that he's in the wrong place.

    If I had to charge and stab the guy? Not so much.

  8. You could also use an unloaded rifle to whack someone over the head. Either way, you got something.

  9. "Well I'm safer..."

    Because you'll get a "bead" on him? (Blogger has fond memories of what-did-we-call-him, oh yeah STUMPY, fantasizing about the consequences of "Messing" with his stuff...)

    Guns exponentially multiply the opportunities for the unexpected. They also offer opportunity for more control of the situation. That can be good, but it's usually bad. There is one positive gun-v-crime scenario, "Bad guy breaks into house to do bad things and you have enough time to find and load gun and overcome nerves enough to aim and bad guy isn't brave enough to charge you because even good shots usually miss unless it's point-blank range..."

    But there are so many not-so-good scenarios, "Depressed James decides to end it and, without time for reflection, grabs gun," "Neighbor kids figure out where you keep gun and try to load it..." "Man with Downs thinks your house is his grandma's place and barges in," "Wife becomes enraged at your argumentativeness and decides to show you who's really the boss..."

    Like I said, I grew up with this stuff. Guns are many fun things, but they're not a crime deterrent (crazy doesn't care if you have a gun) and if there's any kind of conflict (or alcohol imbibing - or god forbid, BOTH) they're not what you'd consider an... asset... to the situation.

    If you want your guns you want your guns. That's fine. But "I'm safer for my guns..." just marks you as a city slicker. (My family, for all their faults, actually are quite good with guns. It's a little silly, but I'm feeling a bit proud right now of them for never managing to shoot off an appendage).

  10. Crimes of passion are exactly why you don't want to have a gun around. My parents didn't own one and that was a good thing, because the way my dad drank and the fights we all used to get into someone would have ended up dead for sure.

  11. Thanks for the lecture, but despite being outed as a "city slicker," you don't have any idea where I grew up, how much experience I have, or what my firearm usage consists of.

    You throw around lots of made-up statistics and hilarious hypotheticals, but don't get around to refuting my point.

    I'm safer with my gun. Me personally. People with Downs Syndrome don't go into hysterics and barge into someone else's home. If one did, I promise I wouldn't murder him. If I wanted to off myself, I'd spare my wife the cleanup duty and just jump off a bridge. The "neighbor kids" aren't breaking into my place in search of my gun.

    From where I sit, the ones taking the huge "risk" are those who assume that, in the off chance they need protection, the DC government will do the protecting.

  12. "I'm safer with my gun. Me personally"

    You wouldn't by any chance be a libertarian, would you?

  13. I'm a registered voter in the District of Columbia, so I'm not a member of the libertarian party (if such a thing exists in our fair federal city).

    But I certainly agree with many elements of libertarianism, this one included. I'm responsible for my safety, and I have a bigger interest in it than the DC government. I'm opposed to government curtailing my liberties under the guise of protecting menacing Down Syndrome patients or feckless neighborhood kids.

    But I don't see how my political philosophy matters. You stated you "don't like it when people kid themselves about being well protected because they have guns around."

    I am well protected in part because I have guns around.

    If my wife shoots me in a fit of rage, I'll come on here with a mea culpa.

  14. Liz - great response to James. I found it both clearer and more entertaining than the original post. My feeling is, what's really going to be the most effective in running off a crackhead or rapist who breaks into your home? A crazy loud alarm system? Or a gun that (if you have children in the home, you hopefully keep unloaded) is quietly tucked into your nightstand?

    That being said, my brother-in-law is a cop and one intense motherfucker. He keeps a gun in the home. As much as I love my sister, I almost wish someone would break into their home, just to see the damage this guy would do.

    Okay. I probably have some issues.

  15. Why I Hate DC, number one place for boring political blogging that is done 30X better at literally thousands of other sites?


  16. "even good shots usually miss unless it's point-blank range..."

    Have you ever heard of a 12 gauge loaded with 00 buckshot? Who's the city slicker?

    And when did "libertarian" become an insult? I would hope that every reasonable person has at least some libertarian tendencies.

  17. An interesting perspective. It would be a little more interesting if you would give us some bio information so we would know where your "ancestral lands" were. Are you from Rural BFE, like Pennsyl-tucky, or from the gun-totting culture of say Afghanistan?

    Just asking.