Get an intern drunk, drop her off in Dewey Beach, and according to this, she will immediately start making out with something called "Easy E."
Easy is a 33-year-old defense contractor* with the very good judgment both to introduce himself in public by a nickname he gave himself, and to tell a reporter about his (alleged) sexual exploits.
Is there anything in the defense industry so inconsequential that it is actually OK to leave someone like this in charge? Perhaps we could let him stuff the MREs into the little envelopes? Or maybe just let him supervise. Even then, probably some poor soldier a world away is going to open his MRE and find Easy's penis, placed there when Easy became convinced the envelope was drunk enough to be "asking for it."
According to the article (and, yes, it's based on Easy's version of events) the MRE would tots be into it. He maintains "separate Facebook identities" to keep track of all his "regular hookups." He has more than 1,200 photographs detailing his Dewey Beach exploits. A member of his group introduces them all to another group of girls, only to realize they already tried to hit on the bunch the night before.
So yeah, I would bet Easy has a pick up artist how-to manuscript which he has been shopping around to interested vanity publishers.
Unfortunately, the only girl he managed to parade in front of the reporter seemed "Drunk and slightly alarmed and disappears soon..."
Poor Easy.
* Mmm... looks like I'm assuming a leap here from "big Virginia tech company" to "Defense Industry." Whatever.
8.12.2008
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ReplyDeleteYou're out Rae. As is your alter ego, George.
ReplyDeleteSorry, George (or should I say Jorge?).... The black guy IS too sensitive.
ReplyDeleteThis is completely unoriginal. There is plenty to hate about DC aside from the things you read about in the Washingtonian.
ReplyDeleteAlso, its "totes" not "tots."
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ReplyDeleteI prefer tots. Totes is a bag you buy from Lands End.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteWhat do all these deleted comments say?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=totes
ReplyDeletePS
Land's End is for poor people who only wish they could afford East Coast couture.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete5 deleted comments? What the hell is going on?
ReplyDeletemaybe the deleted comments were Sir Easy trying to defend himself. but the article just sounds like LNS Goes To The Beach.
ReplyDeleteLOL OMG GUYS!
ReplyDeleteYeah Liz. But "totes" is pronounced like said handbag. "Tots" is pronounced like tater tots.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, this post was better. *sarcastic slow clapping*
However, I am not at all surprised you aren't covering this:
http://www.examiner.com/blogs-73-Yeas_and_Nays~y2008m8d11-Its-Official-DC-Gets-Its-Own-Reality-Show
Because, hey, it would actually make your readers happy and I now how much you don't like that. Integrity and trolls and whatnots.
Grrr. That link is supposed to go to this story..
ReplyDeleteIt's Official: D.C. Gets Its Own Reality Show
Troll mad. Troll smash!
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ReplyDeleteAnd m@...nice face
ReplyDeleteI think m@ is hot.
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ReplyDeleteMy interest in this blog has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteLiz is now jsut deleting comments by certain users regardless of the content.
ReplyDeleteDelete
ReplyDeletedelete
ReplyDeletedelete
ReplyDeleteGeorge, you are trollicious.
ReplyDeleteI've never had so much fun not working in my life. Liz, you keep writing your little mid-western heart out.
If she wants to delete comments for now reason, i will most comments with no sense, cause I know how much fun she is haivng with that delete key.
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ReplyDeletedelete
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ReplyDeleteI posted a link to my blog. It was deleted in a minute. I posted another comment about the first one being deleted. It's gone now too. Why not just disable comments? Or at least, disable anonymous ones, since the experiment didn't seem to go the right way?
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ReplyDeleteHate Liz
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ReplyDeleteGood lord. Imagine what this must look like to someone who "tots" wonders onto this blog today for the first time.
ReplyDelete"Hmm must be good stuff, look at all the comments people left. Oh, Oh my. Blogpocolypse!"
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ReplyDeleteJorge,
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up. You have the intellect of a second-rate accountant.
Bitch says what?
I'd have to charge... Got it... Got it...
ReplyDeleteYou little girl, you. I'm sorry, I don't have that on vinyl.
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ReplyDeletem@ is tough cause he can say whatever he wants and Liz wont delete it, but if I defend myself, it gets taken down.
ReplyDeleteJorge,
ReplyDeleteYou apparently aren't smart enough to win friends and influence people, the hallmark of the alpha male.
I've been trolling since you were at your mother's teat. Give my regards to her, by the way.
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ReplyDeleteIt really *is* a meta project: *This* is why I hate DC.
ReplyDeleteIt is a little unfair. But you made your bed George. Now troll in it.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteOh come on now Liz. One of my deleted comments was funny. It's all in good fun.
ReplyDeletem@ you can totes influence me until the sun comes up.
She mentioned we were trolls again!
ReplyDeleteEveryone take a shot!
Best. Drinking at work. Game. Ever!
To elaborate: two d-bags have a troll-off while an overactive admin deletes the posts almost as fast as the trolls post them...well, almost all of them, leaving behind a bizarro ghost of a troll-off.
ReplyDeleteClassic DC. Just classic.
For the record, btw, Dewey serves the very important function of giving d-bags and d-bagettes a place to go during the summer, thereby making DC that much more pleasant for the rest of us. And by that I mean me.
Ed--You're here, too. How are YOU not a d-bag?
ReplyDeleteI'm too old and should retire from trolling but this takes me back to '05, '06... Good times.
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ReplyDeleteThe spectacle of people engaged in a crusade to "save" this always-half-baked blog from its current author has to be one of the funniest things I've run across on the web this week. Blogs like this one are all about personal voice, and people who don't like the blog's new voice should just face the fact that they don't like the new proprietor and move on.
ReplyDeleteThis is a blog without advertising written by someone as a hobby who is not getting paid. She doesn't owe you anything. If people stop reading, that's the way it goes, but for the people repeatedly posting faux-naive comments asking for answers to rhetorical questions: you really need to find something new to occupy your time.
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ReplyDeleteedthered:
ReplyDeleteI read your earlier post about this being a meta project and it blew my mind. If it was true, Liz deserves a Pulitzer.
What says "DC" more than a bunch of yuppies who clearly have nothing better to do at work other than leave humor attempting comments on the lowest form of writing, a freaking blog, only to have them be deleted over and over again by an administrator who apparently has nothing better to do at work but delete said comments.
The employers who shell out our paychecks should be proud.
Patrick,
ReplyDeleteI gave up my weekend to fly to California on business. I think a little Internet surfing is good recompense.
@patrick: I can't take credit for the meta idea - I think someone else posted it on a previous comments thread.
ReplyDeletem@: well, I've never in my life popped my collar, so, you know, I can't be a *total* d-bag...
I posted the meta idea.
ReplyDeleteDoinks.
See, I knew I read it somewhere.
ReplyDeleteGood night Liz....until we meet again
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ReplyDeleteand go back to russia with all this censorship, you babushka.
ReplyDeletemy final comment for the day: you do realize that when you delete comments it lets us know that you've read them, right? as long as you feel my hatred towards you, i could care less if anyone else does.
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ReplyDeleteHey Kids!
ReplyDeleteHere's today's lesson in logic/debate, as indicated by today's comments:
Commenters:
1. This blog doesn't relate to hating D.C. anymore
2. The writing is difficult to follow
3. There is a general (not all) consensus that the above two points are accurate
Liz/m@:
1. Liz is awesome
2. Anyone who disagrees with the above statements must the same troll posting over and over
3. Anyone who disagrees with Liz must be a meanie.
FYI - Liz, please tell your buddy m@ to leave race out of the equation. It's not necessary to his argument is VERY inappropriate.
If he chooses to hurl personal insults about people's families, he should at least give them the respect of calling them out by name, rather by race.
ReplyDeleteOne more thing...Liz, the same thing goes for you. Even if George IS being insulting, call him out by name, not debate what he looks like in front of a computer screen.
ReplyDeleteIn the past, this blog has railed on the intolerance in DC...please do not become part of the problem.
FYI - Liz, please tell your buddy m@ to leave race out of the equation. It's not necessary to his argument is VERY inappropriate.
ReplyDelete--Inappropriate? You sound like an H.R. director. Inappropriate for WHAT? You don't set the standards for discourse here.
M@,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your thoughtful response. It further proves that you have no real ground to stand on and can't deny anything I'm saying.
"I sound like an H.R. Director?" yeah, you're probably right. So what? That doesn't make commenting on race (rather than the strength of the statements/arguments) any more "cool." If you are perfectly happy to judge people based on their skin color, there is nothing I can say or do to change your mind.
I guess you are right that I don't set the discourse here, too. However, I am allowed have an opinion on it, and I am sure others would concur. As a person who has begun to comment on this blog, I feel I have a responsibility to say something. I refuse to become part of that problem.
Is that the best you can do? You can just dismiss what people are saying based on race, and lob personal insults? Why not do what any logical person would do, and argue based on substance rather than ad hominum attacks?
Liz - again, I would love to see what your point of view is. If you feel people should figure that out - fine, but expect some pushback. Please set some clear guidelines on what is grounds for immediate deletion, and enforce them equally. Examples would be profanity, "your mom jokes", or insults...Though there is always room for a good "your mom" joke...I am just throwing that out there. :P
I can appreciate being extremely frustrated with the comments people are making - after all, the commenters on this blog have always been a bit cruel. However, no matter how you look at it...debating race over why D.C sucks is a waste of dialogue.
"Is that the best you can do? You can just dismiss what people are saying based on race, and lob personal insults? Why not do what any logical person would do, and argue based on substance rather than ad hominum attacks?"
ReplyDeletePenny, you're killing me here, girl. Have we been following the same thread? To what arguments would I add logical substance? This was simply a troll session with no real substance. We weren't debating anything of importance.
You are extremely naive, my friend. I was using common tactics to get a rise out of my friend Jorge, whom I am CERTAIN is a fine gentleman in real life. If I was hanging out with that faggot, I'd buy him whatever fruity beer he's drinking.
I did it for the lulz! Seriously, you're killing me.
I don't know why, but I've kept reading since the transition. This post was the one that finally showed me you're really not cut out for this.
ReplyDeleteIt's not the lack of any humor, interesting thought or alienating all readers but the clear lack of absolutely any effort. Out of curiosity, I wanted to find out who "Easy E" was. It took me less than 2 minutes:
He works at AOL. He still plays kickball in his 30's. He is legitimately ugly.
You had a treasure trove of hate-worthy comedy material at your fingertips. Instead, you tried making some asinine penis joke that wasn't the least bit funny. Considering that America Online isn't in the defense industry, your entire post is completely irrelevant to "Easy" or the article. Had you bothered doing 5 minutes of legwork, you could've had a decent post. Instead, you posted the first bit of drivel that came to mind.
Next time, don't just link the human interest story of the day without any thought. It's basically trolling your own blog. People don't come to WhyIHateDC to get a link of the day.
Of course I expect you to delete this comment (and tell me to go start my own blog), but I hope you at least read it first. If you're going to try to run your own blog, at least try to put some visible effort into it.
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ReplyDeleteWait, Liz posted the meta idea? I could have sworn it was me. I remember typing it...in a comment to the previous post. But congrats, taking credit for someone else's work = VERY DC. I stand by my theory.
ReplyDelete*I'm sure that comment will suddenly "disappear" in a Stalinesque sort of way, but those of you with lightning fingers can run and look it up now if you want*
I'm transferring my loyalty to dislikedc now. Byes!
"According to the article (and, yes, it's based on Easy's version of events) the MRE would tots be into it."
ReplyDeleteI'm confused. MREs?I saw nothing in the article related to MREs or even the defense industry. Tots? Is that another 14 year old girl word like the "obvi" or whatever it is you used the other day?
You're a moron Hurricane. I posted it in the first thread and you guys were all "Ooh, she's so snobby!"
ReplyDeleteOk, well, whatever. I don't think that's the comment they were talking about, but it's not that important to me. Also, don't you mean I'm a "moran?" And also a "looser"? Sigh.
ReplyDeleteNo. I meant moron.
ReplyDeleteYou "loose" :)
This is exhausting! If you like the blog, keep reading. If you don't, stop reading it. Isn't it that simple? I don't understand the point of relentlessly harassing Liz just because her posts aren't exactly what you're looking for. I get that Liz' still is different than Rusty's or his predecessor's- she's still figuring out her own unique posting style and rhythm, so can't we just be a little more patient? And if we ultimately decide that this blog isn't interesting or entertaining, then we can (quietly) stop reading it. But all the complaining really needs to stop! Just my two cents.
ReplyDeleteCorrection: I typed "still" when I meant to type "style." Sorry!
ReplyDelete