Why I Hate Why I Hate DC

I, and I suspect many of you, have recently come to the conclusion that this blog sucks.

Now, I have several hypotheses about why this is, not one of which involves me because, sad as this truth may be, blogging is one of the few things I'm actually good at. (The others are spelunking and imagining iterations of the McLaughlin Group that involve Elvira, Mr. Peanut, the Mucinex blob, and the cast of Different Strokes, the opening credits of which can be really f*cking creepy…)

Moreover, this blog also doesn't suck because of the rest of the "staff," a word I use loosely as none of us get paid for this nor have we ever even met.

Although, wait. That statement's not quite accurate. This blog sucks a little more each day the longer Dave goes without writing because his sh*t is pretty tight. (Dave, where in District hell are you?!)

Which brings me to m@ -- a person whose e-persona inadvertently seems to have taken this blog from being an objective and collective bitch-fest about how much we all love to hate (or simply hate) this backwards cess pool of a city to a forum about how much one or two (or more, perhaps, but who really cares) anonymous commenters seem to hate their lives.

Now, I'm not one to shy away from hating life. After all, just yesterday I discovered that I apparently hold a part-time job that pays me $2.37 per hour. Clearly, my life blows. However, despite my quick descent to rock bottom, one thing you'll never find me doing is dicking up a blog's comment section in a profoundly retarded manner.

A few days ago the infamous m@ wrote a post about something. In all honesty, I didn't really understand it. Then again, I think it's fair to blame my personal lack of understanding more on my helper horse, Sven, who was slurring his speech almost incomprehensibly while reading it aloud to me -- I'm illiterate -- after he stumbled home from a wild night in Adams Morgan. (Sven's such a douche.) Or maybe I'm just stupid. Either/or. Although how stupid can I be when I managed to procure a talking horse?

But magical creatures aside, none of this really matters. Specifically, my opinion on m@'s musings doesn't matter because why I've come to hate Why I Hate DC has nothing to do with m@ or his writing (some of which I like and, perhaps, could understand if I kept a sober helper mammal, and some of which deserves to be criticized, as do most thoughts of intentionally controversial writers/bloggers). Nope. The reason I've come to hate Why I Hate DC has to do with those few commenters who have nothing constructive to say, and instead resort to throwing around homophobic epithets such as "gay" or "faggy" after everything m@ posts. (And really, is that even an insult? I love the gays who are particularly faggy!)

But even those comments wouldn't be so bad (although still ignorant) if they were limited to that. At least those particular comments were directed at m@, who wrote the post. What really got my goat, or rather my helper horse, was when these few rogue commenters, who seemingly can't obsess enough over others' sexuality, decided to drop the formality of even including m@ in their over 100 (yes, ONE HUNDRED) ravings and instead fell into calling each other "gay" and "faggy."

It just doesn't make sense. If you want people to weirdly obsess over your sexuality, start your own damn blog and write about it, otherwise keep your comments focused on the post, a tangential issue, or at least its author, love or hate his apparent "faggy gayness."

Now, here's the paragraph where I'd love to name names, but it seems most of the perpetrators are anonymous, save for one Daniel Hoffmann-Gill, who, despite his perpetuation of the ridiculousness, at least had the courtesy to attach a name to his dickish online persona.

But seriously, cut it the f*ck out all you creepy single-white-femaling idiots. GET A HOBBY.

In closing, as this may end my short tenure here at WIHDC since I hate this site so much now and will probably be "fired" or simply quit, I'd like to leave you few (or many) non-sensical m@ haters-turned-comment hogs with the following fixed-gear wheel of wisdom:

Picture credit to Sucka Pants via BikeSnobNYC.

For the rest of you (the majority, I suspect), I invite you to find me regularly over at The Anti DC. (Shameless plug!) And if you hate me, too (which I’m sure at least two of you definitely do now), then forget about me (or, I suppose, just use this opportunity to call me "gay" and "faggy") and just watch this:

And yes, in case you were wondering, that clip was meant to serve as a fitting metaphor for WIHDC and is not a refection of Sven, who's decidedly not brain-damanged, but simply drunk.



  1. Good riddance, bitch. Get the fuck out of here.

  2. But I love M@, really, I do!April 22, 2009

    I suspect that you discovered BSNYC when I provided a link here recently.

    You're welcome.

    But even if that isn't the case, fixed gear freestylers are clearly worthy of disdain, and I've been looking down my nose at them for years. And that makes me better than all of you.

    WTF is wrong with these hiptards who ride on the sidewalk?

  3. Aw Marissa, I know, I know I've been slacking off here. I was encouraged by you posting more, which led to me slacking off more.

    I've got to decide if I want to try and keep this going (we've still got decent readership, surprisingly) or pack it in. I don't want to pack it in, though.

    We'll see.

    I didn't want to get into the business of moderating comments but I do agree that this has gotten out of hand. Blogger doesn't allow me to see if these are all the same people, or even one person, leaving the comments.

  4. I guess the ship is being abandoned. I will miss it very much...well it's of to the antiDC to see whats popping. Oh yeah and the first commenter is a douche.

  5. @But I love M@, really, I do!:

    I appreciate a fellow BSNYC devotee, but I've been reading that blog for a while now. My brother introduced me to it sometime last year.

    Fixed gear lover/hater (I can't really say much either way as I've never ridden one, although they are easy to mock, at least if you're BSNYC), that wheel is a cultural icon.


    Yeah. I get the feeling it's just a few bad eggs smelling up the joint. I don't want to suggest comment moderation, but when you get a back-and-forth like that, it seems justified because the comments section becomes useless.

  6. @mario:

    I wouldn't say the ship has sunk, but I think if Dave decides to keep it going some changes need to happen. It's a question of effort and reward. It sucks to put in effort to something that presents zero reward (unless of course you like reading other people call each other gay in an effort to insult one another). Like Dave said, we'll see. Or rather, he'll see.

  7. Fucking good Christ, Marissa. I KNOW the "Prisons" post sucked. I admit it. I'm 33 years-old and I've been a writer since I was like 10. The post was a D-. I know it.

    But I have written some good posts on this site. For example, my yoga post on Kimberly Wilson was excellent. I give that an A+. And if you don't agree w/ me, y'all commentators can suck it.

    I was just trying to throw up some posts to keep this blog going. I've been more focused on the job hunt right now after I got fired for something that happened on a business trip in Australia. You can't take me anywhere!

    Oh, and for the record, I'm 100% heterosexual--so the "faggy" comments don't bother me. That's a fifth-grade mentality, my friends.

  8. LivItLuvItApril 22, 2009

    Who moi? But I'm cute! Sort of....

  9. @m@:

    I'm glad we agree about the Prisons post. :)

    But I apologize if I came off unduly harsh. I think you're a great writer. What I was saying was that some of your ideas are controversial, probably on purpose, and that's what will garner you criticism. Hopefully intelligent, well thought out criticism, and not simply elementary name-calling, but without comment moderation and the fact that people seem to have a weird obsession with you, unfortunately that's all that seems to happen here...you know, before it turns to them fighting amongst themselves. It's a waste.

  10. Oh, and two more points.

    1. I WILL continue to write posts for this blog. They will be better. Criticism duly noted.

    2. I wish that one jackass-idiot commentator would choke on his own dick. Seriously, YOU are the same moron who sent me death threats for FIVE months and made light of my father's quadruple bypass surgery.

    The word "retard" does not do you justice, sir.

  11. @Marissa--Yes, it's really just handful of commentators. As our benefactor, King, pointed out, only 10 or so of more than 1,000 unique daily visitors (at the time) left comments.

    The worst has been my gay stalker. Yes, sir, making death threats is a crime. Yes, sir, I have logged two of your IP address. And don't tell me they're not static b/c those two addresses remained the same for three months. I was watching.

    It's probably just a few morons. I'm not going to let it bother me. I'm just going to finish the artwork for my next post.


  12. Why do you give a shit about the comments? Most people that read this blog do it through a feed reader and never even look at the comments unless the blog entry tells us to.

  13. Anonymous--You're so right. As King said, only a handful of the readers comment.

  14. @anon:

    I care about the comments because for me, as a writer, I like to see what feedback people are giving/what they think about specific things I write/their criticism/etc. Blogs are designed to be interactive, and although most people don't care (I admit, I rarely comment on other blogs unless I have something to add or I think whatever was written was especially poignant, hilarious or otherwise commendable), when you're helping to upkeep a blog or have your own, it's a good way to gauge what people like and don't like.

    But here? The comments are just a hot mess thanks to a couple of dicks.

    Good point, though. I guess my post was rather unnecessary taking into account Google Reader technology. I often write before I think...

  15. Dave -

    Don't pack it in. Just change the password and send m@ and his unreadable bullshit on his merry way

  16. Marissa is so hot for me that she needs to step off. That's the real reason behind this post.

  17. Oh, come on, idiot douchebag commentors are half the fun of the whole thing. If I ever bothered to keep mine up to date or had actually had anybody read it in the first place, I'd love morons leaving inane comments. Hell, I'd request it. Who doesn't like mocking lesser mortals? Especially when (theoretically, anyway) the whole world can watch. It's just good times I say.

  18. Farewell, chick-who-called-hipsters-"cutting edge."

  19. ANONYMOUS!April 22, 2009

    Marissa hates her life, and blogs about it.

    Then she sees anonymous comments here, concludes that the commentators hate their own lives, and criticizes them for it. Hell, she looks down her lowly nose at them for it.

    Well, at least she's gone, even if she can't differentiate her own cognitive dissonance from a hole in the ground.

    M@ is the new Liz!

  20. " hot mess thanks to a couple of dicks. "

    Dicks typically make hot messes. Especially if they're functioning properly.

    But you wouldn't know that, would you?

    Break out one of your Indigo Girls CDs while you wait for Ellen to start.

  21. Oh come on! That Daniel Hoffman character writes two thirds of the comments here anyway.

  22. Marrio the Black Guy: How are the mean streets of "SW" treating you?

  23. It's really not that hard to turn off anonymous comments. It certainly made my life easier.

  24. Marissa:

    Thanks for the mention, disapointed that it is in the context you placed it. A few things:

    My contribution to the comments over here is based on one thing and one thing only, the same thing you complain of but rather than blog on it, I took direct action, something the people running this blog should have done a long time ago.

    That reason is the terrible attitude by the numerous anon posters to Matt's blog posts has been going on for ages.

    I'm disapointed that you lump me in with the anon idiots who have been destroying this blog, considering that I am a proper blogger who one an award from The Times newspaper in London...but still...

    I used to link here but got sick of the cesspit comments section that make it impossible for anyone else to contribute to a debate here but as a blogging comrade of M@ I'd journey back now and then and decided to fight fire with fire in the hope that the comment situation would come to a head with my behaviour and it has.

    It's a damn shame it's taken my extreme act to garner this airtime because what you talk of above has been going on for months with no action taken and that is a disgrace.

    The answer to your problem is simple, turn off anon comments. That'll shut down most of it. If it doesn't, turn comment modding on for a short spell. It really is that simple but for a while now, the people running this blog have looked like they think number of comments equals quality of the blog and that is just not the case.

    The question is, are you and Dave going to take the action required to make this blog any better?

  25. Quality ControlApril 23, 2009

    Here is the "award" that he "one" from Timesonline. It is simply a mention of his blog more than two years ago:

    "Less worthy but just as much fun is Daniel Hoffman-Gill, whose blog danielhg.blogspot.com details the sometimes tragically funny world of a struggling actor."


  26. It wasn't just a mention in The Times (and the print edition by the way bitch, come back to me when you've acheived anything won't you? Sorry, you can't because you haven't) but also an invite to an event at The Times itself with some other bloggers.

    Anywho, I find it funny that's all you've got after I've taken apart your bullshit, hiding once again behind anonymous because you are a fucking parasite.

    Poor you.

  27. OK, uh, so what I hate about the comments looks like it's springing up here again in the last two comments. Is this now going to turn into a 100+ back-and-forth about what the Times said? If so, can you guys just trade emails and handle it that way? It's like when two monkeys are throwing poop at each other outside your house...I don't want to step outside into this shitstorm (after all, my poop isn't involved) but, you know, I have to get to the liquor store somehow.

    And DHG, I know you were defending m@ -- fair enough. But it's also fair for people not to like him. What isn't fair is when the argument shifts from being about m@ and the blog to being about you and the "anonymous parasites." It just gets tiresome because the argument never even evolves beyond one-liners and various Google outings. And even though you may not start the personal attacks and may view it as defending yourself, the more you indulge, the more they indulge. It's very circular and ultimately goes nowhere. Not that this blog ever takes the higher road, but there must be a middle road...

    Perhaps this?

    To the anons obsessed with not just m@ but DHG too, you know he, himself, has a blog. If you want to leave comments focused on his life and career choices, then take your poop-throwing over to his house.

    That is all.

  28. How about something constructive... maybe find someone who wants to write on here? Hell, I'd volunteer to write something than watch this site go down the tubes. In fact, I'd welcome it. Don't give in to the douchebaggery.

  29. Marissa, you are missing the point, you want a real solution, the real solution is you close the blog to anon comments.

    Easy but as I fear, you seem to ascribe number of comments to success of blog, which is not the case.

    You solution is pie in the sky and will not alter what happens here.

    Why will you not close the anon comment option?

  30. As someone running this blog along with Dave and M@ you have a responsiblity to make sure that the comments are not home to hateful, nasty language.

    I love how this has been happening for ages and you didn't care, you were fine with shitty stuff being allowed to stand, then as soon as it is challenged, you then try the great solution of telling people to go and spam comment my blog.

    Cool, nice way of dealing with it like a grown-up.

  31. DHG--First off, I have no control over the administrative function of WIHDC. I was simply asked to contribute every once in a while, which I didn't mind doing until lately when I realized it's redundant. I don't need two blogs, especially one that's turned into something of an embarrassment (um, I'm talking of WIHDC not my blog in case anyone was confused...).

    Secondly, like I said, while you might not start these little fights, you do A LOT to fan the flames. While I wouldn't encourage these dicks to roll your way if you were simply an innocent victim in all of this, but, uh, you're a distict part of the problem. You're responsible for posting up half of the over 100 comments involved in this stupid fight. So, deal with that somewhere more appropriate...like your own blog. Or over email. Or The Times. Or whatever. Because it sucks that WIHDC has turned into the referee for your and the various anon's retarded business.

  32. Then who does? Dave? As a matter of urgency Dave should close the anon comments down.

    On blogs that I also write for, well one, I am just a writer but I can also alter the format of the blog.

    Obviously not in your case but you'd have made this discussion shorter if you just said that.

    The great shame is that until I drew attention to the foul and abusive behaviour at that blog, no one would've done anything about it.

    Fanning flames? Nah, just not letting consistent and foul behaviour stand.

    Man of principle you see.

  33. Marissa,

    I like you and we have an unspoken rule not to razz other contributors but... all you've done here is to promote your own blog. My prisons post was awful. But if you look at some of my other posts, it's not hard to agree w/ some of MY fans who've said I'm "streets above anyone else."

    Sven IS a douche.

  34. IMHO, marissa's posts are the only reason to read this blog. i dont care if she pormotes her own blog here. it's f-ing good! i check it every day.

  35. @m@:

    I will not deny Sven's a douche. He's probably getting drunk at Tom Tom as I type. As for YOUR fans -- that's great! And yes, I did use WIHDC to promote my own blog, which is where I blog most of the time. WIHDC approached me to write...since there's no pay, I'd be retarded not to sneak a little self-promotion in here. Or a lot.

    @anne: Thanks.

    @everyone else reading this: Please to check out my e-spot (um...that sounds weird) over at The Anti DC. < /end gratuitous self-promotion>

  36. Anonymous comments still open.

    Is blogger proving too hard to work?

  37. Gaaaaahhhh!!!!!!

    Abuse of the anonymous comment facilty! Abuse of the anonymous comment facility! I will not rest until this abuse ends!

  38. Stay alive, no matter what occurs! I WILL find you!!

  39. supercalafragalisticexpialadoshus! The sound of it is really quite atrocious!

  40. Good riddance bitch.

    You constantly take jabs at a city by dwelling only on its negatives always referring to it as a "cess pool" or "hell hole" and then you have to turn around and whine about others making attacks.

    Whhaaaaaaaaaaah.....You're no better than M@.

    Can you tell me what awesome place you come from?

  41. I am hesitant to post a comment here since the last time I did, I was drawn into the same elementary school playground bullshit Marissa is (justifiably) railing against, but I feel it is necessary to voice my support for Marissa here. Like Anne, I find her writing to be the most enjoyable on this site and one of the few reasons to return here despite the awfulness and idiocy of most of the comments. And DHG, your "direct action" isn't helping anything -- the best thing here would be to not engage the anon assmonkeys in their shit-slinging. As a wise Jewish man once said, "The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."

  42. Hi Amy,

    We disagree, a blog owner has a responsibility for that blog.

    Ignoring the idiots has not worked and it makes the blog itself a hositle environment for new visitors, as I was, or people that actually want to discuss and comment on the content, rather than slagging it off.

    This had been accepted behaviour here for some time, it was all and still is being swept under the carpet: this blog has a problem with anon commenters and sock puppeting.

    The solution? Close comments to anonymous.


    Or seemingly not as they are still open and Dave seems to have jumped to the point of deleting ones he thinks are not suitable. This is a bad move. Best to sort the wheat from the chaff with closing anon but no.

    So we still have a problem here.