After somehow finding a buyer for overpaid "superstar" Jaromir Jagr and putting all their other stars on the trading block, the Washington Capitals are resigned to finishing last or next-to-last in the league standings with bargain-basement players and a more-than-half-empty arena.
That is, until the Capitals' no-necked owner Ted Leonsis assaulted a fan who was mocking him at a game. Clearly the prospect of having a chance to lay a beat down on AOL alum Leonsis is designed to drive up attendance. You've got pain, bitch!
P.S.: Wizards suck too. Worst. Sports town. Ever?