4.17.2006

I Hope This Cost the WMATA Lots of Money

Friday evening I walked from Dupont Circle to the National Mall to Woodley Park just for the Hell of it. According to Google Maps, that was 4.6 miles. Not bad!

By the time I got to the Woodley Park Metro stop, I was ready to go home. Down the escalator I went. Down, down, down. Wheeee.

So, there I am standing on the right like the good-bee that I am. My mind is wandering. I'm caught in a conversation with my walking partner. I'm not really paying attention. I'm tired from all of the walking. When I finally get to the bottom of the escalator, I fail to jump off in time.

Now, this has happened to me before. I'm sure it's happened to you as well. You hit the bottom of the escalator and it kind of trips you up. Happens all the time! Right?

What doesn't usually happen, to me anyways, is having the escalator eat your shoe. The Metro tried to eat me. What a peculiarly frightening experience. It missed my foot, but it did tear a whole out of my $19.95 K-Mart loafers.

Apparently the taste of my sweaty feet and K-Mart leather was not to the escalator's liking. When I wedged my foot out, the escalator stopped. (There's nothing better than hearing the groans of your fellow Metro escalator riders and knowing that you caused their displeasure.) I broke Metro property! Hurrah!

I don't feel an iota of guilt. No matter how clumsy the rider, escalators should not be eating loafers. I would appreciate it someone who commutes out of Woodley Park backslash National Zoo backslash Adams Morgan could give me an update on the escalators there? Did I actually do long-term damage?

42 comments:

  1. At least it was the down escalator and not the up....people really would have been pissed then...

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  2. did you or anyone else fall down? when people fall down it is funny, and that is a very big escalator, someone falling from the top could set a record...

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  3. The scary thing here is that Metro installed all these automatic shutoffs in the escalators years ago after people were getting eaten -- that's why there are those bristle-ey brush-ey things along the sides.
    And now we know how well they work: they shut off the escalator AFTER the incident has already occurred.

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  4. So your basketball skillz are as poor as your escalator riding skills. I'm unclear as to weather or not it was the long escalator or the short one leading on to the platform. Cause when i rode the long on one on saturday afternoon, one of the three was out of service.
    It was really anoying as well with all the children and tourist going to the Zoo, Jerk.
    -Disgruntled Housemate

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  5. It was (is?) the long one on the far right (going down).

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  6. Couldn't you just have paid attention? I mean, I've only ridden escalators on Metro about 242,658 times, so I'm no expert. But I'm pretty sure that the escalators flatten out when it's time to get off, which is sort of an indication to the escalator rider to make sure they get their big-ass feet out of the way. Perhaps this is one of the new escalators they're putting in, which goes directly down without any warning flatness? If so...you're still an idiot for not paying attention.

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  7. Pasquale,

    Not once in your life have you ever gotten tripped up on an escalator? Really? Not once?

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  8. Old ShatterhandApril 17, 2006

    Have you ever been to Budapest? There you have to watch if the acctual step on the escalator is not missing, so really you can use about 75% of the whole escalator monster. People are trained, nobady gets hurt or angry about it. Just live with it.

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  9. I work off that stop. You should be glad it isn't the up one or I'd have words for you. I refuse to walk up that escalator.

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  10. When I was a kid, the escalator at Macy's ate my shoelace. Not my shoe, just the lace, which nevertheless kept me stuck. And the escalator didn't stop. And people just Kept COMING. It was very traumatic. I remain scarred.

    But now, I am glad because it happens to others as well.

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  11. I used to commute via the Pentagon Metro stop. One time, as I was about half way down the escalator, I saw a young Hispanic woman who'd fallen, and was sort of stuck at the foot of the moving stairs. You can imagine my shock, of course, when no-f'ing-one would actually help the poor woman out. I actually saw one guy in a business suit WALK OVER (like one step over the hips, one step over the torso) the freakin lady.

    I always tell people about this when they ask me why I hate DC so much...

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  12. Yeah, I had a shoelace incident, as well. However, I was actually stepping off like I was supposed to do.

    I'm a little bewildered as to how one forgets to step off the escalator.

    I think the Metro patrons demonstrated a great deal of patience in not slaying Rusty.

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  13. Rusty, I'm sure the damage would only take 15 mins to fix... but this IS Metro. It willl be repaired in 15 months.

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  14. Moderated blogs are like instructional sex videos: it reminds you of something good, but you just can't get into it.

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  15. Earl, I was like you once. I would tell my blogging friends that moderating comments was antithetical to the very purpose of a blog, which was open and direct communication.

    I had a blog then that got 50 hits a day. I was naive.

    When the hits go up, you're more likely to get one jackass who says racist and/or demeaning things.

    I will not have my readers insulted. Period.

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  16. I understand why you did it. A big part of me still wants to blame you for it, but I know better.

    It's just sad, though.

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  17. conservativeApril 18, 2006

    Shame the escalator didn't eat you, Rusty. It would have been one less whining liberal in our world.

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  18. Escalators eat people/things a LOT more often than most people think. All escalaotrs are capable of this. (I did some work for an engineering firm relating to a lawsuit involving a person stuck in an escalator).

    As much as I hate WMATA- this is just an instance of an rider not paying attention, and the escalotr peioce being in the wrong formation at the wrong time. If WMATA takes a year to get itoperating again...

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  19. The escalator was workign fine this morning when I walked down it...and stepped off the bottom without getting eaten.

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  20. and they say the human race is threatened by no predator and there will be other loafers and fuck the escalator because i can't go down it on wheels of any sort and you are just poetry in motion my dear... whatsa matter couldn't come up with an appropriate encore to sleep(drunk)walking down the stairs? oh and just so you know i am not going to get fired they waited until i quit for 2 whole days to be like ok we'll move you to dennis and give you a uniform that fits less like an open parachute. i am the only employee of my store not from brazil i'm gonna learn portuguese they like me cause i dance to the regatone HAHAHA i go to work in the morning with coffee from christy's

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  21. I moved to DC from NY, so the first time I saw escalators in the metro I was pretty surprised. What the? I'll never forget a day last summer when it started raining unexpectedly. Loads of people rushed to the Smithsonian stop. The escalators were PACKED. Two people on every step. The thing is after a while, a train hadn't come, and the people kept pouring in from the escalators. Two more, two more, two more. Then my friends and I saw it. A baby stroller. Oh it was done for. Moments later people were piling on top of each other like a bunch of lemmings. The escalator only stopped after people had been screaming for a few minutes. Yikes.

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  22. Sweaty feet and K-Mart leather....yum yum!

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  23. Krystal Koons (AKA THE PIMP DADDY)April 19, 2006

    Dude, you're complaining that you were eaten by an escalator? Stooge. Bitch about something that isn't a result of you idiocy.

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  24. Krystal Koons (AKA THE PIMP DADDY)April 19, 2006

    BLOG OWNER APPROVAL?

    I QUIT. FUCK THIS.

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  25. I'm not complaining as much as I am hoping that the escalator remains broken. Apparently, it's been fixed.

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  26. Monitoring your comments = lame.

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  27. That happened to me! I think Metro has a penchant for cheap shoes-- it munched my $16 Payless heels. Obviously, WMATA is looking for bargains.

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  28. I wonder why James never had to monitor his comments...

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  29. James took down his comments section. Would you prefer that over moderation?

    By the way, I have rejected nothing. I was tempted by some stuff that was off-topic, but, nothing.

    I know this sucks. I'll probably turn off comment moderation at some point and hope the creep who forced me to do this has gone away.

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  30. That's why my sister always travel by horse-drawn coach!

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  31. Why would you hope that it stays broken? It's going to get really hot really soon and the last thing that someone who has been at the zoo all day needs is to have to shuffle all of their kids down that long ass escalator. I hate the metro at times but that's kind of a screwed up wish.

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  32. Krystal Koons (AKA THE PIMP DADDY)April 19, 2006

    Let me sum up this post:

    A)I am mad because I let my shoe get eaten by an escalator, thereby revealing that (a) I am too lazy to walk down the escalator and (b) I am oblivious.

    B)I hope the escalator stays broken because...well why then Rusty?

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  33. (A) is true except I am/was not mad. It was my fault.

    (B) is because it would be tangible evidence of Metro's ineptitude. Also because I enjoy making things more difficult for others.

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  34. My dad the former fireman tells me that there is a secret way to stop the Metro escalators when something is going wrong, like people getting bunched up at the bottom -- kick in the panel on either side at the top or bottom of the escalator, and it is supposed to trigger a failsafe that will shut it off.
    At least, that's what I think he said...

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  35. I live off the WP/NZ/AM stop and I ride those frickin escalators at least 4 times a day. I regret to inform that your stoppage was barely a drop in the bucket. EVERY WEEK at LEAST 1 of the three long escalators is down on 5 days out of 7. There aren't that many Kmart loafers in DC. As a native Chicagoan, I know city maintenance worker job security when I see it...

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  36. Krystal Koons (AKA THE PIMP DADDY)April 20, 2006

    "(B) is because it would be tangible evidence of Metro's ineptitude. Also because I enjoy making things more difficult for others. "

    So if I go and break the windows of a metro train would that also be "tangible evidence of Metro's ineptitude"?

    You fucked up here Rusty. Damn, enough fucking posts about metro already, especially when you were the turdhead who caused the problems.

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  37. You live in D.C. What a loser.

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  38. that guy said fucking and turdhead in the same sentence. consistent

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  39. hey! this post was mentioned in the express this morning!

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  40. I was running up the escalator at Tenleytown a few months ago to grab the law school shuttle and my heel got caught in the top. The escalator stopped, the alarm sounded, and my shoe remained wedged in there. I stood there on one foot apologizing to the people walking up and advising them not to trip on my shoe that I couldn't get out and people made the meanest comments and faces at me. It took about 15 minutes for the Station Manager to respond to the alarm but the escalator was working a few hours later. It chewed up my shoe and I filed a claim but never heard anything. Figures.

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