4.10.2006

Stupid Hummers

My predecessor already covered this in 2004, but I just want to remind everyone that Hummers are the automobile of the small-penised.

I mention this because, in the last 24 hours, I have seen three of those mustard colored monstrosities. And, yes, every single one has been bright yellow. Every time I see a Hummer I die a little inside. And mustard? I can't believe that mustard is the signature color of a $50,000 SUV.

And you know what, it isn't even the color of fancy Dijon mustard. It's bright yellow mustard. Poor people mustard.

12 comments:

  1. Yeah, and those fucking Hummers get HOV privilages, as long as they have three meatwhackers in it, even though my car gets better mileage per person than their ugly-ass fucking eyesore.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Poor people mustard" - LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hate seeing pretty ladies getting into those SUVs.

    --Matt

    ReplyDelete
  4. By that, I mean the passenger seat w/ some mustache jerk driving.

    --Matt

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yeah I absoultely detest Hummers. Aren't they more like 80 or 90K though? What a waste of money.

    ReplyDelete
  6. They get 3 miles per gallon while accelerating on the highway....vroom vroom vroom right into some fat Saudi Arabian's madrassa.

    Fucking turds.

    ReplyDelete
  7. http://www.fuh2.com/

    Best. Web site. Ever.

    ReplyDelete
  8. There's a reason they call it a Hummer. I'd be pissed if I'd paid $75 Gs for a truck and didn't get one. That's really what you're paying for.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The Hummer is the only product I know that, if you buy it, it guarantees that you're an asshole.

    ReplyDelete
  10. And to think, this is the future unless we do something about it: Hummer 8.

    ReplyDelete
  11. "hummers are for dicks"

    ReplyDelete
  12. Buy a Hummer today, and sometime in the future you'll be wondering why you're still making payments on a hulking lawn ornament when everyone else is using Treks, Giants, Huffys, and Schwinns. Sweet justice will come one day...

    ReplyDelete