4.10.2006

Stupid Hummers

My predecessor already covered this in 2004, but I just want to remind everyone that Hummers are the automobile of the small-penised.

I mention this because, in the last 24 hours, I have seen three of those mustard colored monstrosities. And, yes, every single one has been bright yellow. Every time I see a Hummer I die a little inside. And mustard? I can't believe that mustard is the signature color of a $50,000 SUV.

And you know what, it isn't even the color of fancy Dijon mustard. It's bright yellow mustard. Poor people mustard.

12 comments:

  1. nova blowsApril 10, 2006

    Yeah, and those fucking Hummers get HOV privilages, as long as they have three meatwhackers in it, even though my car gets better mileage per person than their ugly-ass fucking eyesore.

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  2. "Poor people mustard" - LOL.

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  3. I hate seeing pretty ladies getting into those SUVs.

    --Matt

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  4. By that, I mean the passenger seat w/ some mustache jerk driving.

    --Matt

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  5. Yeah I absoultely detest Hummers. Aren't they more like 80 or 90K though? What a waste of money.

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  6. Krystal Koons (AKA THE PIMP DADDY)April 10, 2006

    They get 3 miles per gallon while accelerating on the highway....vroom vroom vroom right into some fat Saudi Arabian's madrassa.

    Fucking turds.

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  7. http://www.fuh2.com/

    Best. Web site. Ever.

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  8. There's a reason they call it a Hummer. I'd be pissed if I'd paid $75 Gs for a truck and didn't get one. That's really what you're paying for.

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  9. The Hummer is the only product I know that, if you buy it, it guarantees that you're an asshole.

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  10. And to think, this is the future unless we do something about it: Hummer 8.

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  11. "hummers are for dicks"

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  12. Buy a Hummer today, and sometime in the future you'll be wondering why you're still making payments on a hulking lawn ornament when everyone else is using Treks, Giants, Huffys, and Schwinns. Sweet justice will come one day...

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