WHAT! THAT IS IMMORAL!!! MY KIDS DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT! IT'S FAMILY VALUES! WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN!?!? THAT JEZEBEL IS A BAD INFLUENCE! SHE IS PROSTITUTING HERSELF! THEY WOULD NEVER PRINT THIS IN THE WASHINGTON TIMES!!!
(That joke is a lot funnier if you read it back to yourself in a Southern accent. Or it totally bombed. I can see it going either way. Whatever.)
Anyways, a 'graph from the story really caught my eye:
To some, of course, squeezing out strip joints is a good thing. But to Fonseca [a strip club owner], Washington is losing the grit and texture that define a city. "They've built these high-end residential units for people who want the urban experience," he said. "So they go into their home and close the door and, at that point, they want to be in McLean."
This city is turning into McLean. McLean! Good God. That's the worst place on Earth. They could have said "...at that point, they want to be in Nazi Germany*," and I would say to myself "Well at least they don't want to be in McLean!"
This McLean threat is enough to make me want two crack houses in every driveway and two brothels in every pot. I want gun dealerships across the street from every school. I would rather have a DC modeled after Grand Theft Auto than a DC modeled after motherfucking McLean.
*To all my Jewish readers, Happy Passover!