1. This news is two weeks old, but I was just made aware of it yesterday. Councilwoman Mary Cheh (D-Ward 3), who I certainly did not vote for, has introduced legislation to ban trans fats in DC restaurants. Hey, Mary? Go screw. Surely you have better things to do. Like, the city is still killing all those retarded people. Start there.

I really don't want to go on some crazy libertarian rant since I don't consider libertarians to be serious people, but, Christ, leave me be! Why can't I eat what I fucking want? Why can't restaurants cook what they fucking want? I'm all about watching what I eat, but sometimes I just want a fucking fat bomb for dinner. You know the first thing I eat on a steak? The fat and gristle. It's delicious. I also devour the skin on the chicken and I love bacon fat run-off. I know trans fat is bad and I generally avoid it (along with empty calories and tofu), but, really, why can't the government just leave restaurant owners and their consumers alone? What's next? Legislation that bans you from smoking in your own car?

This isn't like the foie gras bans where people are concerned for the health of the delicious goose. This is the government saying "we know what's best for you." The fuck you do!

Well, at least there's an exception for "service to unemployed, homeless, or other disadvantaged populations." "Disadvantaged" seems awfully vague for legislation. I say, assuming this becomes law, we exploit the fuck out of that loophole. I am disadvantaged by my inability to eat what I want within DC's borders.

2. My archives are still down. I hate Blogger. Someone tell me how to fix this.

3. As previously mentioned, I will be in Cape Cod next week. I expect this trip to be awesome. I got about a dozen offers from loyal readers to be my guest blogger. Sorry for not getting back to any of you but superstar reader King Friday XIII, my first choice for this august position, has agreed to take my place for a week. His comments are regularly funnier than my posts, so I think the site is in good, if not considerably better, hands.

I may post once from my home bunker in Yarmouthport, but, if not, have a wonderful week. Please e-mail me any tips you have so I can forward them to King Friday.


  1. Seriously. You can have all the alcohol and cigarettes you want, but trans fat? I don't think so! Maybe they should decide to tax the fuck out of trans fat like they do with alcohol and cigarettes. That dollar menu double cheeseburger is going to cost you a buck 20 now.

  2. Well, maybe the trans-fat and fast food lobbies will step up to the plate and convince Congress to pimp-smack this legislation into oblivion...there's gotta be an occasional advantage to not living in a democracy...

  3. i agree that issues like whether to ban trans fat (which is not found in steak, by the way) should not be at the top of mary cheh's to-do list; but, on the other hand, trans fat is dangerous--and not in the same way that "regular" fat is dangerous--and the general public has a lot less information about trans fat than they do about cigarettes and alcohol.

  4. Erin, you make a valid point, but why not give the general public 'information' instead of 'parenting'? Given all the necessary information, I'm free to make healthy or unhealthy choices about my own body. I don't need the City council to do it for me.

  5. You'll still be able to get a fat bomb without the trans fats.

    It's sort of like saying, god, someitmes I really just want a roof over my head and I really enjoy one that's warm, too, so I don't mind the asbestos one bit.

  6. so they will still serve trans fats in the homeless shelters? is this a backwards way of trying to kill them all off?

  7. Honestly, while I probably wouldn't espouse this in public, I'm ok with DC banning trans fats.

    And not because of the heart disease in my family, and not because I want to be thinner, etc. It's because I'm too lazy to remove it purposefully from my own diet, and assume I probably won't notice it's gone from the food I eat. And, you know, it's bad.

    I don't really care much about it beyond the fact that we will probably all be accidentally healthier because of it.

    Also, didn't NYC ban it already? And if they did, has it stopped being one of the most delicious cities in the world, or at least considered so by the average bear?

    Side note: I think Rusty opposes this because he's secretly a fat freak. No, I don't mean a freak who is fat, but a freak for fatties. Yeah, you know what I mean. I've suspected this for a long time.

  8. Even though i don't wholeheartedly agree with the legislation, I would assume that the intent behind this type of law would be to try and cut health care costs.

    People don't eat right and the government often ends up subsidizing it.

    Do I think there needs to be legistlation...ehhh...dunno about that.

  9. Have a great time. I'm at my parents' this weekend in Mississippi. I've already started drinking, heavily.

  10. Are you high, you idiot? TransFat should not be in your food. It is not a naturally occuring substance. It is a man-made chemical.

    Should they also not ban rat droppings in your food? Rat droppings are only marginally less healthy than trans fat.

    God, you're stupid.

  11. AnonymousMay 01, 2007

    #1 Mary Cheh is smarter than you. She just is.

    #2 There's no reason for transfat to be in food, you can make all of the same foods taste all the same ways without using it. The stuff just isn't good for people. It's illegal for restaurants to put turpentine in their food for much the same reason.

    #3 The first commentior is almost on the head, in that the dollar menu is where the change will be. Transfat foods are mostly in the crap-ass fast foods that people like you and me don't eat, but the poor bastards who can't afford any better must. I think the deck is stacked enough against the poor without forcing them to be unhealthy too, don't you?

  12. AnonymousMay 12, 2007

    I'm waiting for the day our top scientists announce that trans fat is the healthiest thing you could possibly eat.

    Could happen!

    Anyone seen Woody Allen's "Sleeper"?