2.22.2009

Eye on Logan Circle

When I wrote the "You too can have your own pretentious hyper local blog" post, I was not taking a swipe at any particular local blog. Several came to mind while constructing the list, and a few of those have been mentioned in the comments. However, there is one local neighborhood blog that fits the bill exactly, and serves as an example of the "hip wannabe urban transplant scum" we all get a laugh at here.

Pretension? Check. Hyper exaggeration of how "hip" their neighborhood is, and woeful declarations about a lack of a good (read: not filled with gay men or minorities) watering hole? Check. This isn't news. There are literally dozens of DC blogs whose sole purpose in life is to self-fellate to the masses via Blogger. Last week one of the many Logan Circle blogs, District Schmistrict, added a new item to my list of things necessary for local pretension: self-righteous to the point of screening the low number of comments received on said blog to keep out anything perceived as negative.

District Schmistrict itself is an uneventful altar of the goings on and happenings in Logan Circle which would normally be fun to read if 500 other blogs weren't doing it better. If DCist is considered the CNN (a stretch, I know) of local DC blogs than District Schmistrict is the equivalent of your friend's Facebook news feed: nothing original, nothing new, and nothing worth noting. Until now.

I was tipped off that District Schmistrict, despite its attempts to be a serious neighborhood blog, gets a little hot under the collar when presented with comments that are unfavorable to the progenitors Noah Wiese and Katie Knorovsky. In 2008, while Katie was supposedly working for the "National Geographic Traveler" magazine, her husband won an essay contest sponsored by the magazine. The prize was a sweet DVD box set, the Indiana Jones DVD collection. Now, I mean, I had never heard of National Geographic Traveler before, but I would assume that something affiliated with the National Geographic Society would at least have the good sense to not let spouses of employees win prizes in a public contest. Maybe that's giving National Geographic too much credit, I don't know. But I do know that a commenter put together that: 1.) District Schmistrict is run by Katie Knorovsky and 2.) called Katie out on this in a comment which went unposted by the purveyors of District Schmistrict, saying it was inappropriate for her to name her husband a winner in an essay contest, especially considering that the essay is written about Katie herself. This commenter with way too much skill at Google searching dug up proof that the winning announcement was given by Katie herself to her husband, with no disclaimer of their relationship. The reason given by the duo? "There were only a few entries." Huh. You would think a few entries by someone other than the guy who's legally bound to put up with your shit from now until eternity would outweigh entries by your old man. Who cares if they're good (and frankly, his wasn't). It's a conflict of interest and bad form. It technically doesn't break any laws, save for the laws of decency and journalistic integrity. It's a conflict of interest to have your spouse win a contest that you're administering. It'd be like if my girlfriend worked for Ruby Tuesday's (the National Geographic Traveler of restaurants) and I won a year's supply of UNLIMITED SALAD BAR because hey, a few other people wanted to win, but it was easier for me to take the prize rather than have her do any work in actually giving it away. Or you know, promoting the contest in the first place.

We all know that in DC it's not what you know, it's who you know. If you want the prize you have to know the powerful people in charge. In breaking news, WIHDC has learned that Marion Barry's successfully hasty kidney transplant was the result of an essay he wrote about Katie Knorovsky and the Iowa State Fair. You'll be up and rooting for the PG United in no time, Hizzoner.

64 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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  2. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

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  3. Yeah, this is it. This used to be a good blog. But this was probably one of the pettiest pieces of bullshit I've read on here in a good while, and for this new crop of WIHDC bloggers, that's saying a lot.

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  4. This has just gotten way beyond sad...

    But in case anyone's actually interested in Dave Stroup's complex with our blog, the issues discussed here are cleared up in the comments of one of our previous posts:

    http://districtschmistrict.wordpress.com/2009/02/17/katie-in-pictures/#comments

    Enjoy!

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  5. One last thing,

    I do NOT have a photo of rowhouses in my banner.

    It's a photo of a traffic circle you douches.

    The best traffic circle in the world.

    Sincerely,

    Prince of Petworth

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  6. I'm sure Katie and Noah want to brain you w/ that Indiana Jones box set.

    For he who has the Indiana Jones box set, has the power.

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  7. An Indiana Jones box set is not joke. I want some answers. How about an independent commission?

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  8. Only a TRANSPLANT SCUMBAG would appoint himself to be the PRINCE of a neighborhood that he is not even from.

    What a douchebag.

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  9. I understand a lot of folks in Login Circle like to do yoga....

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  10. WAANNHHH!!!

    I'm more self-important than these other self-important people!

    I pick fights with Midwestern transplants like myself (Illinois is > Iowa!), who have unread blogs with such pretentious postings such as "Happy Birthday Katie."

    How dare they??!

    I should be the only douchebag allowed to have a self-righteous blog about DC!! If it were up to me, they wouldn't even let your kind have facebook pages!

    This means war (yet again)!

    Best,
    Dave Stroup

    PS- Don't ask me what I meant when I said the ideal bars are devoid of minorities and homosexuals...until recently, I stuck mostly to my Georgetown neighborhood and didn't know DC had either.

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  11. I checked out district schmistrict and saw the term "Little Ethopia." I vomited a bit and closed the window as soon as possible!

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  12. Dave Stroup, in pictures:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/finalcut/sets/72157594170680928/

    I like the one where he appears to be trying out for a local militia. Kick ass.

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  13. Dave lives in Falls Church VA with his parents, as his driver's license clearly indicates.

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  14. Actually, 14thandyou.blogspot.com is home to the most officious, pretentious, self-important husband/wife couple in DC.

    And that is saying something!

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  15. First off Dave, way to post a bunch of self-celebratory photos of yourself on your flickr page...obviously posing as a run-of-the-mill hipster to mock them for the sad little self-aggrandizing twits they are.

    The cliche eyebrow bar was a nice touch...though, while hilarious, a little dated.

    But then again, you're the style guru and I guess the 90s are coming back into style, so maybe it'll work for you soon enough.

    The one where you were doing that one look from all the myspace profiles- "Conor Oberst looking over glasses to webcam" was priceless though.

    That's just crushing those hipsters!

    Sincerely,
    Dave's #1 Fan
    HOMEWOOD, IL.

    PS- If those twits at district schmistrict write an article about 90s style's destined return without crediting me, I swear I'll hold my breath and blog wildly until they apologize.

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  16. checked out the ds blog, i saw posts about a new wine store and an attempt to talk about soccer using European phraseology, UGH.

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  17. http://eckingtondc.blogspot.com/

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  18. I'm going to start a blog about my building. There are eight apartments.

    I will call it: 1730.blogspot.com.

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  19. Just to clear up some misconceptions;

    I don't live in Falls Church
    I don't live in Georgetown
    I don't live with my parents

    And I haven't tried out for a local militia.

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  20. SHOOT: title of National Geographic Traveler Winning Essayist
    SHAG: Indiana Jones DVD collection
    MARRY: year's supply of Ruby Tuesday Unlimited Salad Bar

    Sigh...

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  21. Instead of attacking the efforts of other people to improve their community, why don't you spend some time as a mentor or try serving as an ANC commissioner?

    You know, "think globally, act locally."

    I'll never understand the bitterness you people display.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I have to gather some radishes from the community garden.

    Sincerely,

    The Prince of Petworth

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  22. Only a TRANSPLANT SCUMBAG would appoint himself to be the PRINCE of a neighborhood that he is not even from.

    What a douchebag.

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  23. Dave said "I don't live in Falls Church"

    You VA driver's license says that you do live in Falls Church. Why haven't you changed your official address?

    PoP said "try serving as an ANC commissioner?"

    Well PoP, you must be a DC resident to serve as an ANC commissioner. The fresh-from-mommy's-womb-in-virginia crowd couldn't serve their communities in DC if they tried.... because they don't live in DC.

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  24. That was four years ago, I lived in Virginia for five months.

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  25. Ah Dave, I see you took down the pic of your driver's license. Don't want strangers showing up at mom's house in the middle of the night?

    You look very metrosexual in your new pics. Careful, M@ is an angry fag. You know; they kind of boi who hates the fact that he loves to suck cock, and he takes it out on the objects of his affection. (and he has your mom's home address!)

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  26. "That was four years ago, I lived in Virginia for five months."

    So you had a VA driver's license for five months? Or do you keep the VA address for "business purposes"?

    Let's see your DC license. Don't worry, you can blur the address.

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  27. You're not cool just b/c you moved to DC after college and now have a DC driver's license you transplant fucks!

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  28. "I don't live in Georgetown"

    This is evidently true. You can learn a lot from Dave's flickr set.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/finalcut/3176729953/

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  29. Careful, M@ is an angry fag. You know; they kind of boi who hates the fact that he loves to suck cock, and he takes it out on the objects of his affection. (and he has your mom's home address!)

    --My only response to that nonsense is to laugh at you denizens o D.C. who actually think D.C. is a really cool place to be! In fact, it is small potatoes... and so are you.

    You are a defending a pile of shit. But, it is YOUR pile of shit.

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  30. Besides, I'm way better looking than Dave. :)

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  31. Whatever. You up for a walk-off?

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  32. Dave said:

    Just to clear up some misconceptions;

    I DON'T LIVE IN FALLS CHURCH...

    clarifying note: But I did for four months before deciding to move to the shimmering oasis that is Washington DC.

    I DON'T LIVE IN GEORGETOWN...

    clarification: Though, I did live in "a prestigious Georgetown location just off Wisconsin Avenue, a short walk to the heart of the Georgetown, the city's social hub" for two years or so after fleeing the suburban hell of Falls Church in horror (see my previous blog whyihatefallschurch.wordpress.com).

    I DON'T LIVE WITH MY PARENTS...

    clarification: But I did for approximately the first 17 years of my life (see whyihatemyparentsandthesuburbsofchicago.aol.com).

    AND I HAVEN'T TRIED OUT FOR A LOCAL MILITIA.

    clarification: By local, I mean the DC area. I'm a transplant, remember? That said, I plead the first, second, and fifth.

    Sorry if my previous answers weren't as forthright as they could be. I suppose I've been hanging around plagiarizing contest cheats too long and it's rubbed off on me.

    I regret my hypocrisy and pledge not to be such a douchebag from now on.

    Sincerely,
    DRS, Esquire.

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  33. You win the prize for most independent research into a Flickr account, ever.

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  34. oh my god. noah and katie are some scary fucks. I guess if you're a "freelance professional journalist" there's better to do all day than stalk dave stroup.

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  35. case in point: why I hate DC has been refreshed 30 times today from a computer at the patent and trademark office. where noah from district shcmistrict works. thank you google analytics. noah and katie are fucking creepy. I thought they were just hick dipshits but they are fucking creepy.

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  36. I don't know what's better for you Dave, posting Noah and Katie's address and photos of them on a tractor or making this page the first thing people see when potential employers google "Katie Knorovsky", making her look bad when she's applying for writing jobs. If you google her name already this post is #5. I guess that's really what she wants people to see.

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  37. Awesome. I bet Noah just wants to hit Katie over the head now w/ that goddamned Indiana Jones box set. :)

    No, as you pointed out, Dave, it's NOT fair.

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  38. Glass houses, Dave.

    http://finalcut.livejournal.com/
    http://www.whichwayup.org/

    How long do you suppose I'd have to go through your crappy legacy blogs before I find examples of you committing every single transgression you cite in your hyper local blog post?

    I leave the task to someone with more time and dedication. Katie? Noah?

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  39. You ARE Katie and Noah. Stop talking in the third person, Bob Dole. Everyone reading this knows what's up. And it's hilarious. Seriously, you two are giving why I hate DC a lot of hits. If you weren't stalking him I'd say Dave owes you for that.

    Come on, let's see what you dig up next. Maybe Dave won a chess championship in middle of nowhere Illinois? Or maybe he wrote about you two and the Iowa state fair on his Livejournal!

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  40. holy fuck these two urban transplant wannabe hipster scumbags are going to waste their day reading everylittlething you have ever put on the internet. thats kind of awesome their like your fan club or some shit.

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  41. Of course I'm checking the comments a lot. The last time Dave did a post about Katie and me (which has since been taken down by Brightest Young Things, against Dave's wishes), the comments got really ugly, really fast. So it's true that I'm giving this site a lot of hits today.

    But the only comment from either of us up to this point has been the one I signed my name to. Dave (or whoever has Analytics on this site) can tell you that.

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  42. Noah, for your reference, I replied to Katie, and asked that she either remove the post on your blog, or edit the post to include my rebuttal email. The post was removed, and it seemed a resolution had been reached. I was then told that you had reposted about the ordeal, again.

    And just like last time, the National Geographic Traveler minions are in full force. Perhaps it's not quite as amateur hour over there as I allege, since they seem to have decent Google skills.

    Keep in mind though, that for every person who clicks through to see these comments, another 400 simply read the article and move on with their day.

    If you really want to waste your time pouring over my other web sites, then go ahead. Go through my Flickr account, I'll bet you'll enjoy most of the photos. You or whoever else you have tasked to this can enjoy spending their days reading about me.

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  43. Hey, can I get in on some of this? Fuck you Dave and Katie. Leave Noah alone!

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  44. Katie looks kinda cute.

    http://www.facebook.com/people/Katie-Knorovsky/34004334

    I vote we leave her alone.

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  45. she ain't cute unless you like your stupid fuck transplant chicks with blogs a little on the thick side.

    nobody from DC gives a flying fuck about where dave used to live. it won't matter when DC returns to its urban ghetto roots and forces all you fuckers to go back to the midwest.

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  46. GODDAMN YOU FUCKERS NO ONE GIVES TWO SHITS ABOUT THIS. WHY DONT YOU GO DISCUSS THIS WITH 'TINA' AND ALL HAVE ORGANIC COFFEE AND EGGPLANT PANNINIS WITH THE 'PRINCE' OF PETWORTH. YOU ARE ALL LITTLE BITCHES WHO WOULDNT SURVIVE A DAY IN THE DC JAIL.

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  47. I like this pic of Noah too.

    http://www.facebook.com/people/Noah-Wiese/720415467

    Just a man, his Jeep and his canoe, probably on his way from Logan Circle to the Potomac.

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  48. "Just a man, his Jeep and his canoe, probably on his way from Logan Circle to the Potomac."

    Scratch that.

    It should read "Just a fat man, his Jeep and his canoe, probably on his way from Logan Circle to the Potomac."

    The only thing worse than the fat faux rugged outdoorsy type, is a stupid fat fuck who doesn't recogonize other fat fucks because he himself is a fat fuck.

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  49. Kind of cute? I would say that Katie is babalicious. Sorry Dave.

    Katie, I enjoy kayaking. It's WAY more manly than canoeing. :)

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  50. This thread pretty much sums up the WIHDC experience. A blog war with pretentious, earnest, liberal Logan Circle renters, complete with Google analytics subterfuge, Facebook-related snark, comments from the angry guy always disparaging hipster transplants, and NOVA attacks.

    Fucking epic.

    If we could throw in a metro service disruption and some city council antics, we could could it a day.

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  51. "when DC returns to its urban ghetto roots "

    Most of DC originated as middle or upper-class neighborhoods. Alexandria VA and Georgetown were 'urban ghettos'.

    In its nearly 200 year history, the 60s, 70s, and 80s were mere blips on DC's radar.

    DC is actually returning to its "roots" now.

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  52. Riots and crack epidemics are mere blips?

    That's awesome to hear!

    I've been thinking all along that DC's roots spring from a small army of slaves who carved a mud-stained city out of the wilderness because their masters wouldn't allow a capital in a place like philly, where people didn't bother with human chattel.

    Then it was basically Louisville with monuments for 150 years.

    But now you're telling me it's been Gaithersburg the whole time. Sweet!

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  53. "Riots and crack epidemics are mere blips?"

    The British burned the city to the ground in 1812. How does that compare with a riot?

    Whaddya think? Was burning the city to the ground a blip in the context of today? Yes, it was.

    The US Nuked hundreds of thousands of civilians in Japan in 1945, and many argue that racial factors played into the decision to drop those bombs. That was slightly less of a blip for Japan, but it didn't really merit a multigenerational mourn-fest in the same fashion that you mourn a "crack epidemic".

    Get over it. Unless of course your identity as a human is inextricably tied to it. In that case, I honestly feel sorry for you.

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  54. After Washington was burned down by the Brits, the president order that it would be rebuilt entirely of brick.

    Brick masons were well paid.

    But maybe we should change the name of the city from "Washington" to "Barry" in order to accurately reflect its long history?

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  55. LOL. Barryton sums up the 200 yr history of this city pretty well.

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  56. "LOL. Barryton sums up the 200 yr history of this city pretty well."

    I love people who hate the place in which they live. Why don't you eat the barrel of a handgun and get it over with?

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  57. Maybe, you don't know what the fuck sarcasm is you fucking dumbass.

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  58. "sarcasm is you fucking dumbass."

    Sarcasm is primarily an inflection or intonation in the speaker's voice. We're talking audible here, not pixels on a screen.

    Thats why you'll always be relatively happy; you're too stupid to know how stupid you are.

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  59. Exactly, you have to pull out some technical bullshit instead of using common sense like normal people do. Mentioning Barry in the same sentence w/ 200 yrs of history would infer that it's ridiculous to say a ten yr span of his antics is what defines this city you dumbfuck.

    This is the internet, idiot. People use sarcasm all the time when writing(typing). Yet, you think you're so smart by pulling out some misplaced and rigid definition while talking(typing) down at someone.

    So continue to be some angst-ridden smart-ass b/c you've got a stick way too far up your ass to have any sense of humor.

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  60. Holy crap, this site sucks balls. So does District Schmistrict, but at least they're not so elitist as to think they're better than everyone, every thing and every place.

    The idiots who run this site should get off their asses and move somewhere better, or somewhere worse for some perspective.

    Can you blame this Iowa girl for liking DC? She's from fucking IOWA!!

    Get a life.

    Also, this is the 60th comment. If your 400:1 ratio is correct, you've had 24,000 hits on this page. To which, I say BULLSHIT!

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  61. "So continue to be some angst-ridden smart-ass b/c you've got a stick way too far up your ass to have any sense of humor."

    Did it occur to you that I wrote (typed) this?: "But maybe we should change the name of the city from "Washington" to "Barry" in order to accurately reflect its long history?"

    Well, I did. And I meant it sarcastically, dipshit.

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  62. yes because 60 comments obviously equals 60 individual people leaving those comments.

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  63. Oh, totally. Clearly there have been 60 distinct people commenting on this site, not the District Schmistrict blowhards commenting about two dozen times apiece. And me commenting like 5 times. Clearly this is a red herring as I'm actually 5 distinct personalities wrapped up in manliness and a beard.

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  64. Don't confuse your beard with manliness, slick.

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