2.26.2009

Message From Virginia



The Virginia chamber of commerce is collecting testimonials from residents regarding how-all and why-all northern Virginia is better than the District of Columbia. Here is mine:

"Though I no longer enjoy the street credibility afforded the racial minority, I am still within walking distance of a farmer's market and at least two wine shops."

136 comments:

  1. So, for the hundreds and hundreds of "influential," high-powered readers:

    Yay, Virginia! Booooo, D.C.!

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  2. Hey, I hate D.C. SO much I don't even fucking live there anymore!

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  3. Saying that the District is BETTER than northern Virginia is like saying that shampoo is better than conditioner, when, CLEARLY FOOL, CONDITIONER IS BETTER THAN SHAMPOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  4. The City Paper is soliciting submissions for their "Best of" issue.

    M@ - Shittiest local blogger.

    Write him in, folks!

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  5. Yay for Arlington- I can walk to 2 grocery stores, which I couldn't do in DC. This includes my local Safeway, which is neither secret nor soviet nor southwest

    http://gridskipper.com/64939/the-definitive-dc-safeway-guide

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  6. Virginia is DC's Long Island.

    PG County is DC's Yonkers

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  7. Shout outs to all my peoples in HOODBRIDGE

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  8. Even the day laborers in VA have more class than the ones over in MD

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  9. According to the MS-13 members over in CALI the MS-13 members in the VA are PUSSY

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  10. PG COUNTY has the GOATMAN

    VA has M@

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  11. Only in northern VA do you have kids who attend Community College (NOVA) who live in 500K houses.

    I asked one kid over at NOVA once,

    "Yo why do you go to school here at not at some big school in another state?"

    His reply...

    "So I could still live in the same 4 story house I live in now instead of some shitty 1 room dorm"

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  12. a few observations about virginia.

    i dont want to live in northern virginia. it's flat, full of sprawl, and you need a car to go anywhere. yeah, you could live along the orange line and use the metro, but you'd be living with ten tons of douchebags, all wearing north face jackets and shopping at crate and barrel. oh and eating at the cheesecake factory.

    i could give two shits whether or not m@ lives in the district of columbia or not. what's it matter? since it seems like none of us writers here were born within the boundaries of the district, we'll always be transplant scum. so who gives a fuck where we happen to live. i live in dc, i've lived in virginia and i've lived in YES GASP I DISCLAIMED THIS IN MY FIRST POST HERE, illinois. whoopdefuckin'do..

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  13. DC has a fake Congresslady.
    Nova has a real Congressman, but it's Jim Moran.

    Push.

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  14. One-way elevator: Going DOWN!

    Arlington, VA --- Arlington County Manager Ron Carlee announced today an immediate hiring freeze and other spending reductions – the first steps to addressing what is projected to be a $10 million gap in the FY 2009 budget. This $10 million gap represents 1.6% of the general County government operations budget.

    In addition, the shortfall for the Arlington Public Schools, which receives most of its funding from the County, is currently projected to be $7.5 million in FY 2009.

    In a memo to County employees, Carlee explained, “As the nation’s economy faces some very dramatic challenges, we have conducted a thorough review of the County’s budget, paying close attention to the needs of our residents. While Arlington is much better positioned than many local governments in the region, we are not immune to the economic downturn.”

    The memo orders:

    An immediate hiring freeze.
    Elimination of discretionary spending, the details of which will be released over the next two weeks. Meanwhile, Carlee asked staff to question every expenditure.
    A detailed review of every service to determine what is mandated, what is essential to the community and what is discretionary.
    Examination of alternative ways to provide services at lower cost through consolidation, partnership, or contracting.
    In his memo, Carlee noted that the County is required by law to maintain a balanced budget and said “[s]ome programs and service levels valued by the community will not be affordable in these times of retrenchment.” Early analysis indicates continued revenue shortfalls for FY 2010.

    Carlee will provide a public briefing on Arlington’s fiscal condition during the October 22 Recessed County Board Meeting. The County Board will adopt FY 2010 budget guidelines at its November meeting. In December and January, Carlee will provide financial updates, and will present his Recommended Budget at the February County Board meeting.

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  15. DC's "Chinatown" = Bed Bath and Beyond and Fuddruckers.

    Nova's Koreatown = Immigrants in Annadale making kim-chee in restaurants that don't even have english menus....the better to discourage paleface transplants from wandering in to prove their wordliness.

    Asiandale is not fucking around.

    Advantage, Nova.

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  16. One entree at The Cheescake Factory in Clarendon could feed half the population of DC's "little Ethiopia" for a week.

    Because Ethiopians are conditioned to not need much food.

    And because half the population of little Ethiopia is roughly eight people, because it's a bullshit designation trying to trick people into thinking that DC has interesting ethnic neighborhoods.

    Not to mention, the Cheesecake Factory probably has better tasting food than anything on Barracks Row.

    Advantage, NOVA.

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  17. Well, at least NOVA politicians are trying to widen I-66 in Arlington. Why would they do that?

    To improve access to Washington DC, of course.

    In the meantime: choke on your traffic, NOVA.

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  18. Why was January 20th such a great day in America?

    Because the Federal Government made it a point to prevent Virginians from crossing the Potomac into DC in their heavily-taxed personal vehicles.

    A similar scene played out during the Civil War, when Virginia was home to the capital of the confederacy, when Virginia's economy revolved around slavery, and when Virginians were fighting to maintain the status quo.

    "SAVE YO CONFEDERATE MONEY BOYS! DA SOUTH SHALL RISE AGIN!"

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  19. Sterling, Virginia.

    'Nuff said.

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  20. 'LITTLE ETHIOPIA' HOME OF A HIPSTER BAR, A WINE STORE, A NEW ORLEANS RESTAURANT, A GAY SPORTS BAR, SOME VACANT BUILDINGS, A CARRY OUT, AND A LIQUOR STORE.

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  21. ---"Only in northern VA do you have kids who attend Community College (NOVA) who live in 500K houses.

    I asked one kid over at NOVA once,

    "Yo why do you go to school here at not at some big school in another state?"

    His reply...

    "So I could still live in the same 4 story house I live in now instead of some shitty 1 room dorm" "----

    Funny, but it's like this in a lot of places where property values are high. 500k didn't get you much a couple years ago. It's not like the midwest where you're from. It's the same thing with Montgomery College in MoCo any a bunch of other places. And owning a 500k house doesn't mean you're wealthy enough to buy your kid into a real college if they're an idiot.

    Anyway, this thread probably will devolve into some shit pretty soon. But, the people who have the most negative things to say about VA are idiot transplants who don't know much but feel they have to do it if they're in DC.

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  22. BTW, there are plenty of places in virginia i'd like to live, but not if i have to commute into dc anyways.

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  23. ", the people who have the most negative things to say about VA are idiot transplants who don't know much but feel they have to do it if they're in DC."

    I have negative things to say about the place because I lived there for several years. What a pretentious shit-hole.

    The best part about VA is the utter collapse of property values in most of suburban virginia.

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  24. "SAVE YO CONFEDERATE MONEY BOYS! DA SOUTH SHALL RISE AGIN!"

    Drive out Leesburg Pike to Leesburg (think about those names for a moment) and take Route 15 North toward the General Jubal Early Ferry (think about that for a moment)

    During that drive, you will see at least one Confederate flag flying over a shack in which someone lives.

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  25. Dave, when you 69 with M@, who is on top? Do you take turns?

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  26. "I have negative things to say about the place because I lived there for several years. What a pretentious shit-hole.

    The best part about VA is the utter collapse of property values in most of suburban virginia."

    Where the hell do you live now? If it's in MD or DC, it's no better. You probably lived in an exurb with people too poor to live somewhere convenient and close-in but wanted to feel rich anyway. You lived there for several years suggesting you're from somewhere else and you probably had an unfavorable opinion of the place before you moved in.

    And property values in VA collapsed, along with many other places in the country, for a number of reasons you're probably aware of. But be aware that in VA the time between which you default on your mortgage and when your home is foreclosed is shorter than DC and MD, due to protections that don't exist, which is why it's somewhat of a leading indicator in home prices in this area.

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  27. Ahh, Interstate 66. Where else can you sit for hours in stop-and-go traffic on your way to/from your shitty particle board mcmansion in Manassass, while staring at umpteen stripmalls and the headquarters of the NRA?

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  28. "You probably lived in an exurb with people too poor to live somewhere convenient and close-in but wanted to feel rich anyway. "

    Wrong. But simple minds make assumptions in an attempt to understand that which they do not know. In time, perhaps you'll grow to accept the fact that you don't know many things; and rather than invent facts to fill the gaps, you'll just wait for more information.

    All of Price William County is toast. Allof Loudoun County is toast. Most of Fairfax county is toast. Most of Arlington County is toast. Alexandria has been hit very hard with the exception of Old Town proper.

    Most of DC is fairing much better, and most of MoCo MD isn't doing to badly either. PG county MD is toast.

    Rather than make up shit, why don't you look at the facts for yourself; www.mris.com

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  30. Compare the fiscal 2009 budgets of Arlington County, Washington DC, and Montgomery County.

    Which is healthiest?

    Hint: the one with the biggest and most diverse tax base.

    Hint: the one that isn't dependant upon real estate taxes for overpriced single family homes.

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  31. Every year, United Van Lines publishes a migration study. The study covers every state and DC, and it reveals net migration patterns.

    With respect to DC, VA, and MD; guess which locale had the highest net inbound population for several years running?

    In fact, two of the three do not have net inbound population growth. Only one does. Can you guess which?

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  32. healthy budgets? arlington and montgomery haven't had a nearly half a billion dollar decline in revenue.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/24/AR2009022404235.html

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  33. Anon,

    What about your comments on pretentiousness? MoCo and DC are better? PG is a better place to live? Keep dreaming. I don't own a house now and it wouldn't have been any different b/c I knew it was a bubble years ago. It doesn't have any effect on me whatsoever, if anything it's better. I care more about taxes and quality of life in general. I was born in DC and lived there until middle school when the city was truly a hellhole and I'm thankful my parents got me out and sent me to a public school in the 'burbs if the only other option was a mediocre private school in a bad neighborhood. Most people here don't have kids and won't be in DC when they have to send kids to middle school.

    And the entire area so far has outpaced the nation w/ respect to fall in home prices. But, recently, the home price drop has been less than other metropolitan areas. And it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that places closer in will be hit less than those farther out which rose in price much more dramatically.

    But this is mostly neither here nor there b/c I couldn't care less about home prices right now and would love for them to fall.

    So tell me more if I'm just inventing facts. Where are you from originally, where did you live in the area? How is it more pretentious than a lot of places and how it is a hell hole compared to where you are now? Nobody cares about the fringe areas of the metro anyway, which is what first comes to people's minds to bash.

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  34. "healthy budgets? arlington and montgomery haven't had a nearly half a billion dollar decline in revenue."

    Child, a $500,000,000 decline in revenue would destroy Arlington and Montgomery County. Their budgets are paltry to begin with. Can DC absorb such a hit? YES.

    Oh, I see the article indicates that affordable housing programs will continue to be cut in DC. Gee, I guess the net outflow of poor people from DC into the surrounding areas will continue.

    And where, precisely, is housing getting more and more affordable due to market forces.

    Oh, that's right. NOVA and much of MD.

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  35. anonymous apparently has a reading comprehension problem. the post article confirms that DC has a larger deficit as a percentage of its overall budget than Arlington does.

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  36. anonymous apparently has a reading comprehension problem. the post article confirms that DC has a larger deficit as a percentage of its overall budget than Arlington does.

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  37. "deficit as a percentage of its overall budget than Arlington does."

    Gee, I guess a commuter tax is now necessary.

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  38. "And the entire area so far has outpaced the nation w/ respect to fall in home prices. "

    This is incorrect. First, the Case-Shiller Index for "Washington DC" includes all of NOVA and parts of West Virginia. Even the most steadfast Clark Griswald suburban-type would concede that West Virginia is not part of the Washington Metro area.

    Secondly, the "Washington DC" market is not in the Top 10 for biggest declines. Look into it.

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  39. "I was born in DC and lived there until middle school when the city was truly a hellhole and I'm thankful my parents "

    Keep revealing yourself to anonymous strangers via the internet. I'm fascinated. (really) The fact is, people do what you're doing when they're insecure.

    I won't reciprocate, but I'd love to hear more about your childhood in the context of your defense of your parent's life choices. What street did you live on?

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  40. This:

    "What about your comments on pretentiousness? "

    combined with this:

    "I was born in DC and lived there until middle school when the city was truly a hellhole and I'm thankful my parents "

    reveals a lot about where you're coming from. You "got out", but you would not have had to get out if your parents had more resources at their disposal.

    So you moved to the 'burbs to lead a generic life, but you look down your nose at those inferior types who choose to live in the city; the place you 'escaped' from because of a lack of your own resources.

    You think the car you drive reflects your character to people who see you in it, don't you?

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  41. I blame the craigslist whores who post up fake pics of themselves in their ads.

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  42. DC is a stinking rotten ghetto swamp. Always has been, always will be.

    It's amazing the way people who live in a hood that looks like fucking Beirut circa 1983 have lowered their standards for what they deem acceptable.

    "There's a new Peruvian restaurant with a patio down the street OMFG this neighborhood is so awesome!"

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  43. Wow, I love where these comments go sometimes.

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  44. This blog is about why I hate DC.

    What the fuck is with all the posters talking about how great DC is?

    I mean yeah, Sterling is miserable.

    But...it's Sterling.

    What's Tenleytown's excuse?

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  45. "There's a new Peruvian restaurant with a patio down the street OMFG this neighborhood is so awesome!"

    Wow, there's a split-level colonial circa 1983 down the street where the dad buggers his daughter and no one knows or cares because everyone comes and goes in their cars to/from their attached garages so there is no social interaction but plenty of isolation and obeseity. Gee whiz, this has been going on since the 1950s take a look at a book or a movie called 'Revolutionary Road' about being trapped in split-level hell.

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  46. re: Leesburg

    1. It's not named after Robert E. Lee. It predates his infamy.

    2. I've only been to those outlets few times, but each time I've seen plenty of cars with DC tags. I guess folks in eckington need more than nail salons and liquor stores when it comes to retail.

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  47. "What's Tenleytown's excuse?"

    Its attached to AU, so it is host to a bunch of 'transplant scum' and their parents who visit them.

    Oh, and Dick Cheney lived up in there for 8 years.

    Dick's in Mclean/Tyson's Corner now. 'Nuff said.

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  48. DC people attack NOVA for being all strip malls and "suburban hell."

    Then they turn on their TV's and see their mayor commemorate the opening of a new Target.

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  49. "It's not named after Robert E. Lee. It predates his infamy."

    Hey scholar; look into the genesis of Arlington National Cemetary. Who owned the land? And how did it become a mass burial ground? (Yes, there are mass graves in ANC)

    "I've seen plenty of cars with DC tags."

    I suppose a return to $4+ dollar gas will put an end to DC residents shopping recreationally in NOVA. But will it put an end to NOVA residents working in DC?

    "I guess folks in eckington need more than nail salons and liquor stores when it comes to retail."

    You mean like the Harris Teeter in Eckington? Yeah, it isn't open yet, but it is under construction.

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  50. there's a difference between somewhere like bailey's crossroads or seven corners, where it's virtually inaccessible via public transportation (ok, you can ride on the 4A for an hour, and get dropped off on the side of rt. 50) and you need to get into your car to go anywhere and sit at red lights for 15 minutes just to go from shopper's to tj maxx, and DC where the target is about 100 feet from a metro stop.

    does the target suck? yeah, they gave up on stocking it and keeping it clean after about a week (no surprise there), but most of NOVA is "suburban hell."

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  51. "Then they turn on their TV's and see their mayor commemorate the opening of a new Target."

    Versus watching dozens of strip malls anchored by now-defunct Circuit City boarding up their windows because all the foreclosed homeowners around them cannot afford to buy crap on a continual basis any longer.

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  52. This thread is fucking awesome.

    So many people proving their urban street cred, reinforcing the whole point of this blog's existence.

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  53. So it's come down to pitting Baileys Crossroads against Eckington.

    I hate this fucking city.

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  54. "So many people proving their urban street cred, reinforcing the whole point of this blog's existence."

    You are overlooking the topic of today's post: which is that NOVA is 'awesomer'. And that notion is worthy of a swift kick in M@'s face.

    With a steel-toed boot.

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  55. THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT 'URBAN CRED' ARE OTHER TRANSPLANT WANNABE YUPPIE SCUM. PEOPLE WHO ARE 'URBAN' GET THE CRED THEY NEED FROM A 9MM.

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  56. Oh shit.

    Civil War references? Revolutionary Road? Attacks on the dreaded strip malls?

    NOVA is pretty lame, but damn, transplants who've convinced themselves that they're living the dream in DC are VERY defensive.

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  57. The whole notion of "Cred" is exclusive to the domains of ignorant punks in the 'hood and ignorant dweebs in the 'burbs.

    No one else needs or seeks "cred" except those two groups.

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  58. 90% of the people posting here are hiptards who didn't have the stones to move to NYC.

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  59. "90% of the people posting here are hiptards who didn't have the stones to move to NYC."

    Agreed. How long did you live in NYC before moving away?

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  60. "This:

    "What about your comments on pretentiousness? "

    combined with this:

    "I was born in DC and lived there until middle school when the city was truly a hellhole and I'm thankful my parents "

    reveals a lot about where you're coming from. You "got out", but you would not have had to get out if your parents had more resources at their disposal.

    So you moved to the 'burbs to lead a generic life, but you look down your nose at those inferior types who choose to live in the city; the place you 'escaped' from because of a lack of your own resources."

    I LOVE DC. My heart is in DC and always will be. And my attitude is just like many who live in the DC 'burbs now who actually have a meaningful connection to the city. I don't look my nose down upon at anyone. People can make whatever choices they want. You're showing your own ignorance here. You can't apply that "got out and now acting uppity" archetype w/ me. That applies more to the parents of people like me.

    I didn't have a choice of where to move when I was that young. I didn't like it at first, but had my parents had the resources to move to NW where we could get a good education from our ghetto detached home off of Benning Rd., they would have. The only reason I live in Arlington now is b/c it's where I work. And I don't care about revealing anything, so what.

    What I take offense to are these people who point their nose down at people now in the 'burbs and don't always understand their circumstances. I will admit that I generalized, but it happens on the opposite end too. The suburbs around here are more diverse than the central city yet people want to pretend that everyone in the suburbs the same. Some people would rather live the "boring" and "generic" life if it means more future opportunities and prosperity for their families. Thankfully, it seems like the emphasis on redeveloping our cities is around more than it was and that's a good thing if you ask me.

    "You think the car you drive reflects your character to people who see you in it, don't you?"

    This sounds more like the way you think with the generalizations that you've made.

    "Secondly, the "Washington DC" market is not in the Top 10 for biggest declines. Look into it."

    What do I care about top 10? I said above avg. I know we're no Miami, Sacramento or Phoenix, but we're still above avg. A lot of places in the plains and midwest barely had a bubble relatively speaking.

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  61. "transplants who've convinced themselves that they're living the dream in DC are VERY defensive."

    Nah, we just see things as they are today, not they way they were supposed to be in 1957.

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  62. i don't get it. half the people here bitch and moan that the site is too negative, and that OMGZ YOU GUYS BE MORE OPTIMISTIC. 'I LOVE DC'

    if you're some weirdo who loves dc so much that you amble aimlessly around snapping shitty photos of stupid things, only to gush about them so much, then don't even bother visiting this site!

    the site's name is "WHY I HATE DC."

    living in DC generally sucks. living in NOVA isn't much better unless you have a lot of money, and you aren't bothered by shitty traffic. i have no idea what living in maryland is like, but i assume it's like NOVA but possibly shittier.

    face it people, there isn't some SUPERAMAZING OASIS in the city that you have moved to that is super fantastic. DOESNT EXIST. no matter where you live you'll deal with stupid shit, crime, and douchebags and asshats who think they rule the world.

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  63. Ahhh, a soliloquy! Now, do tell: what is your name?

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  64. Dave, your driver's license photo is all anyone needs to know about you. Shut the fuck up.

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  65. "So it's come down to pitting Baileys Crossroads against Eckington.

    I hate this fucking city."

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!

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  66. M@, I ATM'd your mother. She loved it.

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  67. If DC is your home, there's things to love and hate about DC. This site is 99% hate anyway who cares if the 1% is a bit complimentary? Hell, who am I really asking here?

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  68. hey anon,

    my photo on my dc license is even worse!

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  69. Heiress of HuntingtonFebruary 26, 2009

    This is a great thread guys.

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  70. Gonna put that one up on Flickr for us, Dave? And where can I get this lip gloss?

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/finalcut/242844095/in/set-72157594170680928/

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  71. The Duke of Duke Street Says:

    OMG! I totally live in Old Town and I. LOVE. IT.

    I paid $750,000 for a 1 bedroom rowhouse that is made of rotting wood and was originally the home of impoverished indentured servents who worked in DC. I work in DC too and I. LOVE. IT. Except for the whole "urban" feel to the place. I really don't like "urban" things but I love DC! That's why I live in Old Town Alexandria! Aaaannndd....now that I live in DC my mom can totally come to visit me, and since she paid for the house anyway she can totally stay with me, except for the fact that there is no room in the place and she doesn't want to stay in Old Town because it is too urban for her. She's from Elk Grove, Illinois, so what do you expect?! She's just not a city person like I am. OMG!

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  72. i don't know what you're going to accomplish by continuing to harp on those photos. if i was uncomfortable with how i looked, i certainly wouldn't have done a fashion shoot that was published in a magazine distributed all around the city.

    kthx.

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  73. NOVA is an area of typical suburbs, with a couple interesting neighborhoods and a handful of decent restaurants.

    DC is a ghetto shithole with a few thousand rich assholes west of the park.

    Move the fuck on already.

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  74. You think Pablo from DC and Hector from Woodbridge have these arguments or is it just white people?

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  75. "Move the fuck on already."

    Yeah, lets get back to M@ and how good looking and important he is.

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  76. Pablo can only afford to live in Woodbridge now.

    Damn gentrifiers.

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  77. this blog is just becoming a spinoff of 'stuff white people like'

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  78. Who knew the Virginia chamber of commerce could strike such a nerve with a dozen columbia heights renters?

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  79. Lots of people in Viriginia grow tobacco in the yard in front of their single-wide. Honest, I saw it myself when I went on vacation.

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  80. Anyone participating in a "fashion shoot" in Washington, DC ought not be moderating a blog where this was posted.

    http://whyihatedc.blogspot.com/2007/04/hollywood-for-ugly-people.html

    Unless you were being über ironic or something. Tell me you were being über ironic or something, please.

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  81. Keep grasping for those straws, man.

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  82. OOoooo, he got the umlauts in there and everything... OUCH.

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  83. ARE YOU DONE JERKING IT TO DAVE'S FLICKER YET?

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  84. "ARE YOU DONE JERKING IT TO DAVE'S FLICKER YET?"

    This place is all about hate, and you're asking if the hatin' is finished? NEVER!

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  85. Get off it. Fashion shoots in DC happen all the time. Look, here's a fashion blog that recently visited DC:

    http://iamfashion.blogspot.com/2008/05/washington-dc.html

    Odd. Looks like they shot mainly buildings.

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  86. I just went over to Marissa's blog.

    Ahhhhh.... much better.

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  87. Dave without all the makeup:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/finalcut/12418235/

    I just threw up a little bit.

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  88. "Move the fuck on already."

    Yeah, lets get back to M@ and how good looking and important he is.

    --THANK YOU! OMG!

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  89. Hey, if you *LOVE* D.C. so much, why don't you MARRY it!?

    OMG, you guys!

    **

    CONDITIONER IS BETTER THAN SHAMPOO!!!!!!

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  90. maybe we can break 100 comments.

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    ReplyDelete
  92. and PLEASE vote me in as shittiest local blogger for the shitty local newspaper's contest. That's kind of like being the "best asshole."

    ReplyDelete
  93. I don't know what "ATM" is. Is that like some kind of fancy jibber-jabber double-jive talk?

    ReplyDelete
  94. I resent that, I never would have met my wife if it weren't for the ad I put in the City Paper.

    ReplyDelete
  95. ATM = @$$ To Mouth

    ReplyDelete
  96. "Is that like some kind of fancy jibber-jabber double-jive talk?"

    Its just what anyone with a sex life knows about.

    ReplyDelete
  97. Dave's cadaverous foot.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/finalcut/12418269/

    Dr. Vitamind says it's time to take the laptop outside.

    ReplyDelete
  98. I heard the 1990s are coming back

    Well thats good for me because I never really left

    So I guess that will mean all my 15+ year old clothes I still wear to this day will be in style once again

    YAY 4 me!

    :O

    ReplyDelete
  99. Josh/Jim/John or Lisa/Brittney/AshleyFebruary 26, 2009

    I totally live in DC. I live in Ballston, near the Commons. I. HATE. DC. But I totally love living in DC, especially since I live in Ballston. Near the Commons. Take that, all you nasty people who live in DC!

    ReplyDelete
  100. i loved the 1990s.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Dave, next Halloween, I got you covered.

    from this:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/finalcut/12418739/

    to this:
    http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/holidaymoviepreview/2001/img/snape_l.jpg

    in 20 minutes or less. That dollar store in Mt. Pleasant probably has a cape in your size.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Reasons why NoVA/VA > DC:

    1. It's cleaner
    2. Wegmans
    3. No lame height restrictions on buildings (Rosslyn looks like more of a city than DC)
    4. Tourists visiting are usually in the city - not in VA.
    5. Lack of regular and consistent gunfire and violence is a plus
    6. Being able to park your car on the street without a reasonable concern that it will be broken into, stolen, or chopped for parts

    ReplyDelete
  103. 1. Can't argue with that, generally.
    2. Irrelevant if you don't have a car.
    3. Most of the buildings are horrific (see: Baily's Crossroads, Ballston, Tyson's).
    4. Many nova residents are more annoying than tourists.
    5. Potentially. Less murders, perhaps. Still lots of gang activity in Southern Arlington, Fairfax County, etc.
    6. See above

    That sounds more like a list of "reasons why living near the orange line corridor or in mclean is better than dc"

    ReplyDelete
  104. Bothsidesofthefence is a short suburban douche with a BA in English who lives in NOVA but works (as a receptionist) in DC like so many other suburban douches.

    KEEP OUT. Stay where it is "clean" and "safe" and free of out-of-towners. (such as yourself)

    ReplyDelete
  105. and just so we're clear here;

    #1 forget snape, we all know my best halloween costume has been samantha ronson.

    #2 it must be entertaining to spend most of your days going through my flickr account, mostly looking at photos that are 4-5 years old. i already gave you the prize for best flickr detective, do you want an actual prize? maybe a box set of indiana jones dvds? unless you already have those.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Who says Dave doesn't already own a cape? Or a shoebox full of 20-sided dice for that matter?

    ReplyDelete
  107. The DC version of Five Guys is clean compared to the one on King Street.

    However, the Shirlington Busboys & Poets has all the yum sandwiches as the orignial, but much better looking staff and better hygiene from the customers.

    Push.

    ReplyDelete
  108. "Or a shoebox full of 20-sided dice for that matter?"

    Or multiple shoeboxes containing size 17 pumps? Some with glitter and rhinestones on them?

    ReplyDelete
  109. Yesterday, I was ogled by some mexican day laborers near the Huntington Metro.

    The day before that, my husband was shot in the neck with a blowdart by some 13-year-old boys near the Columbia Heights Metro.

    ReplyDelete
  110. you've been watching too much INDIANA JONES.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Dave - "That sounds more like a list of "reasons why living near the orange line corridor or in mclean is better than dc""

    You just redeemed yourself. A little bit. Very little. But there it is.

    Anon - blowdarts, eh? Did he faint? Did his panties get all bunched up and twisted?

    ReplyDelete
  112. Man kept illegal housekeepers in basement
    February 26, 2009 - 10:27am

    WASHINGTON (AP) - Federal prosecutors say a man has pleaded guilty to harboring illegal immigrants from Indonesia, keeping as many as 11 in his basement.

    Soripada Lubis of Falls Church, Va., entered his plea to harboring illegal immigrants for commercial advantage and private financial gain on Wednesday. He will be sentenced on May 15.

    Lubis' wife, Siti Chadidjah Siregar, a citizen of Indonesia, pleaded guilty to making false statements to federal agents.

    According to court documents, the couple had kept undocumented Indonesian women in their basement since 2000. The women would live with and work as housekeepers for families in Potomac, Md. During the weekends, they lived in Lubis and Siregar's basement, sometimes sleeping three to a bed.

    Lubis and Siregar charged the women rent, transportation and fees ostensibly for taxes and to send money to Indonesia.


    (Copyright 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.)
    WASHINGTON (AP) - Federal prosecutors say a man has pleaded guilty to harboring illegal immigrants from Indonesia, keeping as many as 11 in his basement.

    Soripada Lubis of Falls Church, Va., entered his plea to harboring illegal immigrants for commercial advantage and private financial gain on Wednesday. He will be sentenced on May 15.

    Lubis' wife, Siti Chadidjah Siregar, a citizen of Indonesia, pleaded guilty to making false statements to federal agents.

    According to court documents, the couple had kept undocumented Indonesian women in their basement since 2000. The women would live with and work as housekeepers for families in Potomac, Md. During the weekends, they lived in Lubis and Siregar's basement, sometimes sleeping three to a bed.

    Lubis and Siregar charged the women rent, transportation and fees ostensibly for taxes and to send money to Indonesia.

    ReplyDelete
  113. That's it!? That is all?

    114 comments and we're done?! Comeon!

    ReplyDelete
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  115. "Is that like some kind of fancy jibber-jabber double-jive talk?"

    Its just what anyone with a sex life knows about.

    -HAHAHAHA. I THINK IT'S JUST BLACK TALK. IT'S WHAT ANYONE UNDER 25 WHO'S HAD BLACK SEX KNOWS ABOUT.....

    ReplyDelete
  116. Is that like when someone is a jive turkey and won't slip you some skin? Is that it?

    ReplyDelete
  117. "-HAHAHAHA. I THINK IT'S JUST BLACK TALK. IT'S WHAT ANYONE UNDER 25 WHO'S HAD BLACK SEX KNOWS ABOUT....."

    Again: This blog is nothing but a big Rorschach test for you. Keep it coming.

    Here is a simple figure: <3

    Now; comment on the simple figure above.

    ReplyDelete
  118. It's your mother's ass on my leather armchair. :)

    But that should be bigger. Cause she gotta wear a tent as a dress, remember.

    ReplyDelete
  119. "But that should be bigger. Cause she gotta wear a tent as a dress, remember."

    Your mother must be so proud of you. I'll ask her next time I'm ATM'ing her.

    ReplyDelete
  120. See, that joke doesn't work on a white guy. We be all non-plussed and shit.

    ReplyDelete
  121. I gotta take a dump now. I'll "holler" at ya later.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Oh, you're 'plussed' alright. I'd say you're downright agitated. It's fun.

    ReplyDelete
  123. DC doesn't have an IKEA like VA does.

    ReplyDelete
  124. VA doesn't have two IKEAs like MD does.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Who cares about B'more.

    ReplyDelete
  126. I wish DC wishes it had an IKEA.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Virginia launched a war against the United States of America, and lost.

    DC launched a "war on rats," and lost.

    ReplyDelete
  128. I can only imagine what would happen if we all tried to sit down with each other and eat out at a restaurant the other blogs do.

    How long would it take for the police to have be called?

    ReplyDelete
  129. "Who cares about B'more."

    Who cares about Fairfax?

    ReplyDelete
  130. There would have to be transplant table and a native table becuase there is no way in hell I am going to sit right next to a transplant when I am dining.

    ^ Fuck that!

    ReplyDelete
  131. M@ would sit at the kid's table on the periphery of the dining room.

    Its a metaphor for what he's doing now.

    ReplyDelete
  132. DC is shithole, but NOVA is where people go to die.

    I find it hilarious when bland NoVA people try to hype up Arlington or Alexandria when the whole area (save Old Town) is sterile with zero character. Look around in NoVA and you see far more douchebags wearing $200 jeans with the ends rolled up or ugly-ass women decked out in Ann Taylor thinking they are shit because they live in fucking Clarendon.

    ReplyDelete
  133. "i dont want to live in northern virginia. it's flat, full of sprawl, and you need a car to go anywhere."


    not everywhere, dude. and i share your hatred for orange line arlington. but there's old town and del ray and the columbia pike corridor and lots of other nice places to live where you're not surrounded by the north face wearing douchebags of the orange line (and, let's be honest, gallery place) or by the trust funded "starving artist" type hipsters who have taken over columbia heights.....

    ReplyDelete
  134. this whole region is a headache, I'm moving to NY!

    ReplyDelete
  135. Try stacy adams suit for your fashionable look emensuits.com offer great discounts.

    ReplyDelete