Memo to Apple: Georgetown just isn't that into you

OK, this is a nice, juicy, things we can all hate about DC topic. The "Old Georgetown Board" has yet again (for the fourth time) rejected Apple's design for it's store on Wisconsin Avenue. The fact that #1 ANYONE CARES ABOUT THIS and #2 Apple has presented them with four different designs makes this whole thing even more unbelievable.

Personally, I could really care less if the District has an Apple store. I have a 3-year old iMac at home, and used to own a Powerbook when I was in college. The Powerbook eventually fell completely apart (the screen broke off the hinges) and a new Apple laptop is so ridicuously expensive compared to a PC, it's not even funny. And who am I kidding? I don't need a laptop. I have no business being able to blog from Jolt 'N Bolt. But even more importantly, if I ever did want to visit an Apple store, I'd ride on the Metro to the one in Pentagon City. Or the one in Bethesda. Or the other one in Bethesda.

But anyways, the two main discussions I see about this are "OMG GEORGETOWN IS STUPID" and "WHY CAN'T MY NEIGHBORHOOD ___________ GET AN APPLE STORE."

I especially loved the discussion over at DCist, where someone referred to Georgetown as being full of asshats. Here was a reaction by "TX2DC," which at first thought was a sarcastic response.

As a resident of Georgetown, I take offense to your assertion that we’re all “asshats” over here. First off, the “asshats” you refer to are mostly tourists and suburban riff-raff that infiltrate our neighborhood – that is hardly our fault. Obviously there is something to the neighborhood or people wouldn’t flock to it. Additionally, Georgetown is one of the most exclusive, and expensive, neighborhoods in DC for a reason. Perhaps you’re jealous? Secondly, why the hell would Apple put their store in Logan Circle? For starters your neighborhood borders Shaw – so taking into account the spillover crime, I doubt Logan is upscale enough. Besides, what the hell does Logan have in it? Answer is, simply, not a lot. A friggin Whole Foods (or is that DuPont)? A few crappy restaurants? No Parking? There’s a reason there is nothing in your crappy neighborhood – not upscale and no infrastructure to support it. Lastly, I have no doubt you, like everyone else, loves to hate on Georgetown yet still comes over regularly to enjoy our bars and cuisine. So you can quit hating on Gtown, hater. Clearly there’s at least one real “asshat” in Logan.

I really, really, really thought this comment was snark. But it wasn't. And then there was a nice back and forth about Logan versus Georgetown versus WHO CARES.


Apple paid $13 million for a building they are going to demolish and then replace with a new one (that looks old, but not old). They want their fancy futuristic looking spaceship store, and Georgetown doesn't like that. But Georgetown wants an Apple Store. God, really, I love that this dominates the local blogosphere for days on end whenever a new design (which is the same as a previous design, essentially) gets rejected. It's like that pathetic kid who keeps asking the hot girl out, and keeps getting rejected. But she doesn't want to be too mean, so she doesn't outright say no. Sell the building (at a loss, I'm sure, but maybe they could get a Dippin' Dots to move in), and build your monument to luxury computing somewhere else, maybe Penn Quarter.

I'm obviously contributing even further to this nonsense, but I'll say that I think there's asshats in Logan just as much as there are asshats in Georgetown. I'll even one up it and say there are asshats everywhere in the city, even though I don't believe asshat is a real word.

God. Happy Friday.