Get well, Donte

Last week, a nine-year-old boy, Donte Manning, was shot in the face. He was playing on the sidewalk outside his apartment and apparently got hit by stray gunfire. Nobody's come forward to identify who the gunman might be.

Donte's currently fighting for his life in a hospital. Strangely, Congress hasn't yet crafted any personalized novelty legislation to help him out. But I'm sure they'll be on top of it sooner or later.

</not holding my breath>