Must... escape conversation... can't... reach... utility belt...

We had a little in-office baby shower for one of my co-workers the other day. Usually I avoid these little parties, thus avoiding having to attempt "conversation" with my fellow employees. But there was cake.

So, I get there and have some cake. Then the fun starts.

ME: This is pretty good cake.
SECRETARY: It's marble. I got it at Martin's [in West Virginia, where she lives (!)]. It's like our version of Giant. Actually Giant just bought them.
BOSS: So have they changed the signs over to say "Giant"?
SECRETARY: Not yet. Well, some of them say "Super G."
BOSS: Isn't Giant owned by a Dutch company?
CO-WORKER #1: Yeah, they're owned by Royal Ahold.
BOSS: That's a Dutch company, right?
CO-WORKER #2 (overhearing conversation, walks over excitedly): Are you talking about Giant? They were bought out two months ago.
CO-WORKER #1: Doesn't Royal Ahold still own them?
BOSS: I thought they just had a labor dispute.
ME (ready to commit harikari): I'm going to go get some more coffee.

And, after I got coffee, I went back to my office, never to be seen again. I'm sure that discussion went on just fine without me.

This always happens when I try to hold a conversation in the office: it goes off into some super-boring tangent. Every time I try to talk about something interesting, like movies I've seen, or sports, or current events, or vacations I've been on... these people look at me like I'm from another planet. There's this one guy I work with who, whenver I go on vacation, is more interested in which airport I flew out of and which airline I took than in the actual vacation. WHO GIVES A FUCK? That pretty much typifies the kind of crap I have to deal with. Honestly... don't you people do anything?

I've decided to just stop talking about things, because it's painful trying to have a conversation in this office. I don't remember it being so difficult at my previous jobs; there were always at least two or three people who were interesting to talk do, or who knew what was going on in the world and could sustain an interesting conversation.

(But see, that's why blogging is nice. I can throw out any number of references, and if people don't get it, I don't have to watch them staring at me like I'm from space. I don't even care who gets my jokes anymore: the right people will get them.)

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