Craigslist Follies

God knows I could stay pretty busy if I wanted to post nothing but stupid Craigslist entries all day. Still, every now and again there is a special Craigslist ad that demands and deserves special attention. And this "women seeking men" post from February 25th is truly deserving.

You don't really need to clink on that link. I'll lay it down for you right here (all typos are [sic]):

Hi everybody:-D I'm posting because it's generally tough to find other Christians with similar interests. I work hard and like to play hard. I love reading, horse back riding, music, and spending time with friends and family. While I am a virgin, and I plan to remain so until marriage, I am fun-loving and adventurous in MANY ways ;-). I've posted some pictures to show you who you'll be writing. I'm not looking for anyone specific, I just want a good-hearted, kind, intelligent, and thoughtful man who won't find my decision to remain a virgin a scary one.

OK. Cool. The little smilies are pretty annoying. I'm pretty down with the virginity thing. I find it 100% unlame to be that dedicated to your faith. No, seriously. I'm not being sarcastic. But for a virgin, the "adventurous in many ways" accompanied with a wink; that's a bit of a mixed signal.

But not as much of a mixed signal as this:

Jesus. Christ.

There are so many problems I have with this. All these problems are obvious so I won't go on a 2,000 word rant. I will say this: you'd expect a Christian virgin to be a little shy about asking someone to take a picture of her on all fours with her ass sticking in the air.

Is that what she meant be "adventurous?" Is she one of those "anal sex doesn't count Christians?" Man, those are the best. I hope there is a Hell just so I can be there with them. At least I won't act surprised when I get there.

Well, I'm glad this lady posted this. If she wants to make Christianity look bad, then she deserves the avalanche of pictures of erect penises that are flooding her inbox. (Or her "outbox," bah-dum-bum-ching. I would have gone with "*rimshot*" to signify that I made an assfucking joke, but that would have been far too easy.)

To be honest, I was hoping to conclude this post by saying "Ugh, she's from Rockville, figures." But, I live in Northern Bethesda. So who am I to judge? I'll leave the judging to a higher power.


  1. Yes, I know this type. I've dated this type. I wasn't a virgin and he was and I left him "intact" albeit jerked off in more creative ways that I can list. It's a ball of crap that means nothing.

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