Driving an SUV just means you're too poor to afford a Hummer...

I discovered an awesome way to get from place-to-place in Washington without depending on our notriously undependable Metro!


Seriously, walking works. Wednesday night I made the walk from my job in the Golden Triangle area to Friendship Heights. Sure, my feet hurt from walking 4+ miles in my work shoes, but Metro would not have the opportunity to ruin my night.

That didn't make my night unruinable though. At around the Connecticut-Nebraska intersection, I came across a young male protester-type. I could tell he was against the war in Iraq by the gigantic "No War" sign he was holding. It was a big sign. Probably five feet in length. But this was no ordinary protestor. This was the Harlem Globetrotter of protestors. He was spinning the sign, flipping it around his shoulders, even twirling it in the air. It may sound trite, but it was impressive.

So impressive that some middle-aged gray haired man driving a middle-aged gray SUV (of course) took the time to stop his car on Connecticut, honk his horn, and flip the guy off. Totally unprovoked, naturally.

What a cocksucker. Some guy was just doing his thing, flipping a protest sign and amusing an audience. It's not like "No War" is some crazy Communist plot. Ask around and I'm sure you'll find that "No War" is becoming an increasingly popular alternative to our current situation. No matter. This man was determined to utilize his First Amendment rights by flipping a protestor the bird. Truly a patriot.

Obviously that didn't ruin my night. It just pissed me off. What ruined my night was when I decided to finally take the Metro from Friendship to Medical Center. I put my hand on the escalator rail. I've lived in DC for five years; I should have known better. My hand is currently covered in Metro grease. Next time I'll just walk.


  1. Try bike commuting. Your feet will feel fine, and you will be able to annoy SUVs of all makes.

  2. Walking is awesome. I walk from Friendship Heights to Georgetown at least once a week. It's 3.9 miles, but I'm oh so much thinner now, and I don't have to shell out $1.65 for the annoying metro ride. Props for walking.

  3. I walk myself around DC, If I didn't live in Virgina I comtemplate walking too. Oh I feel ur pain on the metro grease escalator, However I think I got you beat. I grabbed it one morning to stop myself from falling and placed my hand in snot...yes...someone sneezed and wiped their hand on an esclator...Nasty jerks. I lost several layers of skin that day after cleaning my hand.

  4. I HATE bike commuters, who bully pedestrians as they in turn are bullied by motorists.

    This morning I crossed against a light (inside of a crosswalk) to get to my Court House Metro entrance. A tight-shorts and pantyhosed cyclist beered down on me, swerving to try to scare me--even though there was more than enough room for both of us.

    He was so intent to punish me for breaking a traffic law that he apparently forgot he was... speeding. You'd have had to be quite an asshole to drive a CAR that fast down that boulevard!

    Anyway, they're always bullying runners on the trails. The best commuter I ever saw was this older grey-haired guy wearing 70s-style exercise clothes sprinting down the street with a backpack loosely secured to his shoulders. He made a ridiculous site--but was also making good time.

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