Congratulations on making that 5:40pm train at the Dupont Metro station. Well done! Of course, I would call the decision to just stand by the doors once you got on the train a wee bit unorthodox. I mean, it wasn't a full train. You could have moved to the center of the car like the nice, soothing Metro voice suggested. That would have made more sense.
Because maybe, just maybe, I was right behind you also trying to get on the train. And your decision to just stand there playing with yourself made it so that I got smacked by the closing doors. My attache case got stuck in the doors too. So, I basically looked like a jackass. The King of All Jackasses. I hope you enjoyed the death stare I gave you to return the favor. Dumbass.