10.20.2006

Redundant

I do a lot of walking on my lunch breaks. Miles and miles if I can. It makes me feel better after eating a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. Starting from the heart of the Golden Triangle Business Improvement District, I have made it past the Watergate on Virginia Avenue. Once I made it past the Convention Center. One day I ate on the go and made it to the Lincoln Memorial. Another time I stumbled upon Glover Park. These miniature excursions give me the opportunity to see parts of the city I had previously ignored. Yay for walking!

Trips to any of those aforementioned exotic locales require a big time commitment. When I don't have the time to walk for three miles, I'll aimlessly walk around the Golden Triangle to clear my head.

Often, this head clearing is rudely interrupted by loud whistles.

For some reason, I'm assuming high traffic, K Street intersections are equipped with crossing guards. I'm all for public safety, but what can crossing guards do that traffic signals can't? I mean, isn't that why you never see crossing guards at intersections with traffic lights? It's redundant. And it's not like they're helping school children cross the big, bad street. They're hollering at yuppies and business suit types.

These guards are totally unnecessary. So, who's paying for them? Is it the city? Is it a special program paid for by the businesses within the GTBID? Regardless, it seems like a colossal waste of money. We're adults. We can tell the difference between a red blinking hand and a white blinking dude. Blowing your whistles at us and using histrionic hand motions aren't going to get us across the street any faster.

This is a molehill of a problem, not a mountain. But I really could do without the extra noise pollution. I wish these crossing guards would get real jobs.

31 comments:

  1. Ted Kennedy's LiverOctober 20, 2006

    Their role is to prevent gridlock, i.e., to prevent cars from "blocking the box" which is a big problem on K street and 14th street. Insofar as they help people cross the street with the idiot driving around here, that's fine.

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  2. Wow, I wish I had a job where I had the time to walk around aimlessly for an hour.

    Also, only fatties take pride in how far they can walk. How far can you run? How much can you bench? Get back to us on that, big guy.

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  3. 1. I have an hour lunch break. Is that abnormal? I know some people only have 30 minutes, but it's not like an hour is out of the ordinary.

    2. I can run for about three miles at about 7mph on a treadmill. I've never bench pressed anything in my life.

    3. Fuck you.

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  4. 1- preventing gridlock is a good thing. I know you don't have a car, but lots of other people do.

    B- yes, you might be able to restrain yourself from not walking when the blinking hand is showing, but it seems that the vast majority of pedestrians are incapable. This doesn't give cars a chance to turn, creating longer-than-necessary tie-ups.

    III- It's a city. Whistles, horns, and other sundry noises are part of the environment. If you want peace and quiet- find a country lane.

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  5. Speaking of Golden Triangle, it would be interesting to see how many Starbucks the area had. The wesbite said more than 10.. I'll bet its more than 25. I can think of 3 within two blocks of my office alone (14th and L).

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  6. Rusty,

    It prevents gridlock and keeps dumbasses from trying to drive through the intersection when they aren't going to make it. You may think its pointless but if you had thought this through you would have avoided this dumb ass post.

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  7. Seriously Rusty, I don't usually hate on you like some others here, but this post was just a waste of bandwidth. Haven't you ever walked through that intersection at rush hour? Without the traffic controllers cars would rush through when they can't fit, blocking the box; and pedestrians would continue to cross after the blinky hand turned red, preventing right turning cars from making it through. It would be a total mess. Go walk on the Mall, dodging fat midwesterners is probably easier to hate on than annoying traffic controllers.

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  8. I think an hour is abnormal, yes. I can take the occasional hour lunch, but it's not something I feel entitled to, or have time for. I don't know anyone, that I can think of, with a consistent hour lunch break.
    And, now that I think of it, when I do take an hour for lunch, it's usually to do work-- meetings, etc.
    Do you work exactly 9 to 5, too?
    Heh.

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  9. All you posters are idiots. Welcome to the city- gridlock and pedestrians are part of the mix. And honestly, I've worked on K street for 5 years- it's not that bad. Especially during lunch - including and past 2 pm when the guards are still out there. They're actually causing more problems then they help. Just yesterday I saw them force- FORCE- a bus to turn right from the middle lane (the bus route runs straight by the way). No crashes ahead to avoid, no reason for it, just made him go. But then they wouldn't let the truck trying to turn right do so, meaning they had to drive to a block three streets over to make a right (due to one-way traffic). What's the point? THey get off whistling at people in busines suits and yelling at them not to move, while not truly helping gridlock at all. Anyone who thinks they do is an idiot. Also, five weeks ago, they waved on a car which then hit a scooter that the other controller (on the other side) had waved on. So yeah, pretty helpful.

    aNonYmous

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  10. 1. I admit this post sucks, so, you can lay off there. I already know.

    2. I don't even know what "blocking the box" means.

    3. Since my lunch breaks are now considered important, I don't take an hour every day. But, when it's slow, I take an hour. So fucking what.

    And I work 9-5:30.

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  11. "So fucking what"
    So you asked, "Is that abnormal?"
    Yes, I think it is. That's all.
    But good for you, seriously; having a break to walk around midday would be awesome.
    In fact, if I had it, I would probably be less fat myself.
    I wasn't criticizing, truly. I don't happen to know anyone in this town who has an hour lunch break, as you said you do.
    Sorry, didn't mean to seem to be on the hating bus.

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  12. This is anonymous:

    "Ooo look at me... I'm sooo busy and sooo important.... I only have 10 mins for lunch and 5 mins to shit at work (even though I spend all day on why i hate dc leaving retarded anti-rusty comments). So Rusty MUST be an overwieght degenerate for taking a full 1 hour."

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  13. There's nothing worse than writing a shitty post because of the hater's block and then being called fat. Terrible day.

    I could lose ten pounds. You've got me there.

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  14. Blocking the box:

    When a light is green and people inch forward so they are in the middle of the intersection, thinking they will make the green light. As well all know, DC traffic sucks, and so the light turns red. Thesse people are then pretty much stuck in the middle of the street. This leaves those who now have a green light no choice but to sit there and honk at the asshole who "blocked the box." Being locked in at that green light is probably one of the most frustrating experiences you can have behind the wheel, in my opinion.

    And if that was a crappy explanation of blocking the box, sorry.

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  15. I've noticed that the lunchtime crossing guards at 19th and K tend to stand in the middle of the intersection, where cars barreling up 19th sometimes have to swerve to miss them. I don't understand how that makes the street safer, and the box will sure-as-shit be blocked when, inevitably, some three-martini luncher miscalculates.

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  16. rotaries! spread the dumb! jersey does it! it must be right

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  17. i take more an hour for lunch, as do most of the people i know. then again, i work for the federal government, so i guess it's expected of me.

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  18. I actually really liked this post. It's nice to see Rusty taking some literary digressions with his intro, like a pitchforkmedia review done well.

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  19. It's probably a goal of yours not to get winded from picking up quarters you drop when you're trying to buy donuts from a vending machine for your 15 minute lunch break from shaking a cup for quarters. haha Hope you didn't get tired from reading that uber-long sentence.

    I hope I'm there to witness your lard butt get hit by a car when you waddle across the street. You better be glad those crossing guards are there for you.

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  20. It doesnt bother me that much, but sometimes those crossing guards do get little overzealous. The best is when they fight with the homeless.

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  21. i bet rusty's girlfriend if fat and ugly.

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  22. I don't have a girlfriend, so you are wrong, sucker.

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  23. one might argue that the spending of tax dollars on traffic cops is totally gratuitous because it accepts responsibility for the morons who would otherwise be occupying the *moving* section. what you ought to have is a contained explosion that can be readily reset and whose detonator is accessible to those who find themselves simultaneously at a green light and not able to move forward. or a trap door, if one must have a less pyrotechnically-friendly solution *rolls eyes*

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  24. "I swear I have a real girlfriend. She goes to college out of state so she's always to busy to visit. Why doesn't anyone blieve me??"

    youre a fucking liar, cumdumpster.

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  25. Rusty, I'm a white blinking dude... and nobody listens to me.

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  26. Rusty, nevermind the ten pounds that's not gonna help your flabby ass.

    whenever i see some tall redhaired dork on the "Metro" I think it's you.

    --Fenty

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  27. To the dude who called me "cumdumpster,"

    That was a joke, moron. Get a fucking clue.

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  28. you said:
    I think an hour is abnormal, yes. I can take the occasional hour lunch, but it's not something I feel entitled to, or have time for. I don't know anyone, that I can think of, with a consistent hour lunch break.
    And, now that I think of it, when I do take an hour for lunch, it's usually to do work-- meetings, etc.
    Do you work exactly 9 to 5, too?

    to which i say, Mr. D.C. typical-type-a-i'm-important-because-i'm-soooo-busy:

    i am entitled to an hour every day (which I don't usually use) and yes, i work exactly 9-5. and i'm paid well, too, so everyone else can suck my ass.

    dedication is for suckers.

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  29. Rusty, you're not fat. I'd totally do you.

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  30. If more Washingtonians took a walk and their whole lunch hour, this whole city would be more livable. I will never forget my first snow emergency when they said 'only essential personnel need report to work' - i had to go because I had no leave time accrued. I got onto the bus and it was packed like normal. I naively said to the guy next to me "I thought they said only essential personnel." and he said "Welcome to DC, everyone here thinks they are essential."

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