So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye

Rusty, who promised me oral sex as compensation for my services, will return next week.
Tonight I’m getting the hell out of crackville and spending the weekend in Manhattan. That might be the only redeeming quality about Washington DC; it’s proximity to better places.

In the meantime, check out this link to a fake D.C. DMV website. Warning: It’s culturally insensitive (but pretty fucking funny). My favorite is the "Star Employees" page. If that kind of thing bothers you, don’t get mad at me. I warned you. Just pretend I’m like the Washington City Paper who told everyone about it last year by faking outrage over its offensiveness.

Goodbye, fellow haters. I don’t know if we’ll see each other again. That’s the life of a guest blogger; we live hard, fast, and never stay in one place for long. Don’t cry, sport. You’ll find other guest bloggers. It’s a big blogosphere. You need to stay strong. Let me wipe away those tears. Everything will be okay, don’t you worry. Everything will be okay.

Pay up, Rusty.

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Update: True story. While walking to my gate at Newark, I unknowingly dropped my boarding pass. It would have gone missing but fortunately a passerby picked it up and stopped me before I reached the security checkpoint. I kindly thanked the woman and she asked, "So, where are you flying to? Home?"

I replied, "Yes, Washington, DC."

Her smile collapsed into a frown, and her face displayed a sense of remorse as if I just told her that my dog had died. "Oh, I'm sorry," she quipped and walked off.

Yeah me too, lady.