Once in a lifetime snowstorm underway

midnight, blizzard conditions

midnight, blizzard conditions

midnight, blizzard conditions

midnight, blizzard conditions

1 comment:

  1. I read this amusing post on Fark:


    Lake effect people know what that kind of snow is like. It's not terribly uncommon for people in Northeast Ohio/West New York to get a couple feet at a time.

    So here are some tips:

    Pray to f*ck that your gutters don't fall. You might think huge icicles are pretty, but they will tear your goddamn roof apart. If you can, carefully clean the snow off the roof when the storm is over.

    Take care of your driveway a little at a time and you'll kill yourself trying to keep it clean. Take care of your driveway when it's over and you'll kill yourself trying to push that much snow. You're f*cked either way. Pay some asshole with a truck plow $30 and let them deal with it.

    Unless you have children. Children are like your slaves. They'll shovel all goddamn weekend if you make them. Because you can.

    Do you have candles? Good. Don't have candles? You're f*cked. Unless you can walk to the store. Because you're not driving anywhere. Thick snow is going to land on branches and hit power lines just like ice storms, and you've been through those before. You live in an ice storm pro region. You're a pro at this. Remember to pick up anything you don't want to lose in the basement before your heat turns off and your pipes freeze and explode and turn your lower floor into the Fortress of Solitude.

    Don't be the asshole that orders a pizza for delivery during all this. They'll do it, but just because there's that one delivery guy working who thinks he'll get lots more tips out of pity. He won't. Then he'll become bitter and spit on your pizza.

    Have lots of pretty bushes and stuff lining the road in front of your house? No you don't. Not anymore. Also- say goodbye to your mailbox. If tomorrow is your trash day, don't put the cans on top of the giant mountains of snow on the side of the road. That's silly.

    Also: when it melts you're going to have to deal with flooding and sh*t too. This is really heavy stuff coming down. Most insurance companies are closed for the weekend but if you leave a voicemail on your policy agent that says "It's 9:00am Saturday morning and I want immediate flood insurance on my house one two three no takebacks" then they have to do it. Unless they say "no takebacks" first. But they can't because it's a voicemail. That's the law. Also no cutsies.