Them Duke boys better grow some wings... or start flapping

As if there wasn't enough danger living in D.C. I'm sure this retired resident didn't expect a car to come flying through a brick wall, into the living room of his second-floor apartment.

Still, this would seem to be a survivable accident. Unfortunately, since this guy lived in D.C., he had to count on D.C. public services, which reduces everyone's survivability considerably. Remember last week when USA Today ran that article on D.C. EMTs and firefighters, whose rivalry and bickering tend to be fatal for victims of cardiac arrest in the District? The article said that D.C. only manages to save the lives of about 4 percent of its cardiac arrest cases, while Seattle saves 45 percent.

We get to see that inaction in action here:

When firefighters arrived, they found Williams in cardiac arrest and performed CPR, said Alan Etter, a spokesman for the D.C. Fire and Emergency Medical Services Department.

Neighbors complained that a D.C. ambulance took too long to respond. Etter said computer records showed that the ambulance was dispatched at 3:10 a.m. and arrived 21 minutes later -- far longer than the department's standard of 8 to 10 minutes. Etter said the department would investigate to make sure those times were accurate and, if so, determine what caused the delay.

Although firefighters arrived at the house within minutes and began performing CPR, the ambulance was needed to take Williams to a hospital, Etter said. Williams was later pronounced dead at Washington Hospital Center.

Good grief. Not to steal my brother's brilliant idea of drawing parallels between D.C. public services and bad 1980s screwball comedies, but were the Fat Boys driving the ambulance?