True Father haiku

Taken from the life-enriching stories of lifestyle writer Jen Waters in the Washington Times:

Tom Beal of Glenn Dale
only has eyes
for the birds

Pete Boudriault grows some prickly plants
In the back yard of his home
in Bowie

Maren Michel
is turning her reality
into fiction

The Rev. Ken Horne
understands the old adage
"waste not, want not"

Amy Grant says she has had
a hymn in her heart
since she was a child

Toxic heavy metals
can weigh down
a person's health
says Dr. Ross Myerson, medical director for occupational and environmental health at Washington Hospital Center in Northwest

Not quite 5-7-5, but I thought it was flowing nicely until that last one.