DC Sports: Lame

If you really hate sports or long entries, you may want to skip this post.

After work tonight, I headed straight to the MCI, er, Verizon Center for the Celtics-Wizards game. Since I'm from Massachusetts and I, according to this URL, hate DC, you shouldn't have to ask who I was rooting for.

And, indeed, the Celtics won in dramatic fashion. A great 27-9-5 from the pride of Waterbury, CT, Ryan Gomes, was an awesome thing to watch.

Well, enough of the reverie. On with the negativity!

The DC sports scene is so pathetic that it makes me yearn for even the evil sports capitol of the world: New York. I'll break this down sport-by-sport.

Baseball: Washington Nationals.
2006 Prognosis: Very bad. No owner. Two second basemen. Only three starting pitchers. And, most importantly, a publicly funded stadium/easy profit for Major League Baseball owners. Again, and I can't stress this enough, if you think the $611 spending cap is good for DC, you might just be an idiot.

THERE WAS NOWHERE FOR MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL TO GO!!! MLB is trying to move the Nationals and the Marlins? Really? Where? Portland? San Antonio? New Orleans? HA. And the MLB, which currently owns the Nationals, would not make nearly as much money selling the San Antonio Alamos as they would for a team in the Metro area. They were never going to leave unless it was to Northern Virginia. And that would have been hunky-dory by me. Because, you know what, Northern Virginia, for all intents and purposes, is Washington. We had all of the leverage.

$611 million! I will keep writing about this because it is insane. Insane. And, I know it's a business tax. It's also utility taxes. Enjoy paying extra for heat, poor people. Good thing no one else needs this money!

Football: Washington R****ns.
2006 Prognosis: Very bad. I don't know if you're following the NFL labor issues very closely. Probably not. Anyways, there's a great chance that the salary cap in football won't increase in 2006. If that happens, Washington may be unable, no matter who they cut or what they do, to get under the cap. That is so very, very bad. This is mismanagement at it's finest ladies and gentlemen. As many as 20 of their 53 players could be rookies. If 40% of your office were interns, the place would fall apart, wouldn't it?

Also, this team name is obviously so racist that it boggles the mind. That point has been made by many people, so I won't bore you with it anymore.

Basketball: Washington Wizards
2006 Prognosis: Kind of bad. The team is a middle-of-the-road .500 team in an inferior conference. They'll make the playoffs and lose in either the first or second round. Whatever.

But, here's what gets to me. The game I went to tonight. That game went to overtime. And what happened between the end of regulation and overtime? Hundreds of people left the arena to get home early. It was only 9:30pm, and Washingtonians were running out of the stadium during the most exciting part of an exciting game. Wizard fans are passionless. Shame on them.

And I have never been to a quieter arena in my life. The Black Cat gets louder than the Verizon Center during games. That's sick, and not "sick" in the slang way that means "cool."

Hockey: Washington Capitals
2006 Prognosis: Whatever. They suck now but have an exciting rookie whose name is too damn Russian for me to try to spell accurately. Of course, hockey is no longer an American sport. Sorry. No one cares.

Soccer: DC United
2006 Prognosis: Whatever. They're the best ever Major League Soccer team and they have the future of American soccer, Freddy Adu, on their roster. Unfortunately, no one in America cares about soccer either.

I honestly think Washington, DC is the worst sports city in the country. I really do. Our only team that's ever been good (in a sport that matters) is the one with the mismanaged roster and the racism stamped on their helmet. Its teams reek of inaptitude. Honestly, what city is worse than Washington? Name one four sport city that's worse. Fine, three sport cities count too.

Just to be fair, props to DC college basketball this year. DC has two good teams in George Washington and Georgetown. It's really a shame that they are also two of the most overrated teams in the country, but don't be bothered with that. When they both lose in the second round of the NCAA tournament, we can be proud to call them our own!