3.29.2006

A Quick Note

Dear Fellow Metro Rider,

Boy, the train was crowded today, wasn't it? I mean, really packed full. You were pretty lucky to get a seat!

And, look at that, you actually got two seats. I see you decided that your bag and jacket needed a rest too. Those inanimate objects sure look comfortable on that plush Metro seat. You are surrounded by people staring at you, but you don't want to inconvenience the jacket. Got it.

And some of the people are older too! Not senior citizens, but definitely in their 50s. They probably need the seat more than your bag. Don't 50-year-olds have creaky knees and backs? Whatever. And some of the people are women. I don't want to be old-fashioned and suggest that women depend on male chivalry, but it's awfully polite to give a woman your seat, don't you think?

No, you don't think that. Those two seats are all yours. Why should you give up your hard-earned seats?

Here's why. Because not giving up at least one, one!, of your two seats makes you a motherfucking asshole. I honestly think that Hitler would have given up his seat for Eva Braun. I would never call someone "worse than Hitler," but you're certainly more impolite. And I honestly hope you die.

Fuck your mother, suck my dick, and die in a fire,
Rusty

32 comments:

  1. BTW, my mother is going to have a heart attack when she reads that last line. Sorry, Mom!

    ReplyDelete
  2. BA BaracusMarch 30, 2006

    How enormous is your vagina? Is it a double wide or is it one of those black holes of a hallway that sucks everything in, like in this instance, your courage. Why not say something to this person? He or she clearly hung their balls out and said "yeah, they're huge, I'm taking up a seat for each nut." Meanwhile, you're standing there steaming like a jackass until you can run home to the safety of your blog and tell the world how angry you are. Grrrrrrrr I'm so mad blahdy blah grrrrrrrrr.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Because he'd wind up saying something Every Damn Day, ba baracus. And having that, "Excuse me, but you will please move in...no, not for me, for any of these people. Would you like to sit down? Oh. You? Ok, here you go" conversation every single morning with a different person gets really effing exhausting.

    Don't get me started on the bitch who humped the pole yesterday, so that I had to choose between 1) balancing myself without a pole and 2) feeling her up.

    ReplyDelete
  4. nova blowsMarch 30, 2006

    The last time I was on the metro, an elderly guy came in WITH A WALKER. The four or so seats near that door that are clearly marked for elderly or handicapped, were all occupied. Not one of the inconsiderate fuckdrips even looked at the poor guy. I was halfway down the car, but had half a mind to get up and pound their fucking heads into a fruit juicy pulp.

    The people who live in this area suck as much as the area itself. God I hate this fucking shithole.

    ReplyDelete
  5. rusty's momMarch 30, 2006

    Oh Rusty, I love it when you talk dirty......

    ReplyDelete
  6. TURDHEAD COMMENTMarch 30, 2006

    rusty, bit fired up heh?

    What is the protocol when you are in a window seat and the turdhead next to you won't get up for a 95 year old grandma? Do you get up?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Krystal "Klondike" KoonsMarch 30, 2006

    I also hate the people who sit alone on the aisle seat and resist sliding over so that someone else can sit down.

    When I board the L2 in the morning, I zero in on those aisle-seaters, even if there are other open seats on the bus. "Excuse me," I say flatly - they always begrudgingly move over, and it feels great!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Perhaps if only one person had said something, or attempted to sit down his/her self, the "gentle"man would have gotten the message. I agree that it's bullshit, but if no one says anything, or excuses themselves and takes initiative, then how will douchebags like that learn?

    ReplyDelete
  9. TURDHEAD COMMENTMarch 30, 2006

    Shitnecks unite. We have nothing to lose but our metro seats.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Just another manifestation of DC's biggest problem. Stifling, myopic self-importance.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You're right. It is indicative of people in DC...they are rude, impolite assholes. There is no common courtesy in this "city". Ever notice, how almost no one in DC says 'thank you' when you hold a door open for them. Keep up the hating Rusty.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Krystal Koons (AKA THE PIMP DADDY)March 30, 2006

    I SELL MORE COROLLAS THEN TOYOTA. I AM NOT GOING TO WOW YA

    ReplyDelete
  13. I've had many "evil" moments on the DC subway (refuse to use the public relations brand name Metro), but the weirdest moment happened when the evening train was not all that crowded.

    An older woman beckoned me to sit after scootching over in her seat. I preferred to stand but thought I'd acknowledge her unusual DC civility. She was reading the Post. Her left hand kept slipping, slipping down and... eventually came to rest on my thigh.

    I froze. I had always thought I'd say something in that kind of a situation but I didn't. I felt dirty, like it was my fault. She got off the subway later and I saw her gazing at me lovingly as the escalator carried her away. I almost shit.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh man. I so do not miss riding the Metro. I live 1 mile from the Takoma Park Station and could ride the Red Line right to Metro Center, then walk across the street to my job, but it's stories like yours and the comments of your fellow blogger that keep me in this commute mode: drive my car four miles to my old apartment where I pay my former neighbor $80/month to park behind his house, then catch a bus on 14th Street and ride 10 minutes to the corner of 14th and G where I disembark and walk 1/2 a block to my office. Rusty, keep up the hatred. This town can really suck and its inconsiderate, self-inflated egoist inhabitants are the very worst!

    ReplyDelete
  15. dubious publiusMarch 30, 2006

    people in this town are even worse than those in new york. when new yorkers are being a$$holes in their interactions with strangers, they at least have a sense of humor about it.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh please! DC is about even with NY except they have more people per square. People often tell me thank you when I open the door or hold an elevator here in DC and in NY and people have been kind enough to give up a seat both here and there.

    I would rather politely ask or simply tell them that they need to move their bag instead of standing in heels or sneakers trying to be cute and polite.

    Matt, that's sad and pretty sick. I hope it won't take therapy before you trust another elderly woman again.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This blog, not the old lady thing, which is just disturbing, totally happened to me yesterday. So I purposefully stood right next to the guy and hovered over him for the whole trip, reading the novel (well, trying to, I didn't have my glasses) he had open. One good turn...

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yesterday on the metro some guy picked up a coke cup that was rolling. The cup probably wasn't his. You're a better man than I.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Bus Driver's MomMarch 30, 2006

    Why would i give up my seat to some cracker ass liberal motherfucker who is just in D.C. to work for a year. I been living in SE my whole life, so why should i care about you?

    ReplyDelete
  20. perhaps i ought to put things into perspective for you - picture this: it's a beautiful day, the smell of swamp is in the air, and obscenities pierce the day as you realize the bearings on your blades have once again become eight kinds of fucked up with the sand that is positively inescapable. *sigh* and you have errands to run, places to go, people to see, all that good crap. well out here in hee-haw country you got no worries, because an illustrious force known only as "the breeze" will come sweeping into town at oh-whatever-the-fuck time it feels like and whisk you off to the f*a*b*u*l*o*u*s hyannis transportation station which features many modern accomodations such as it rhymes. getting misty-eyed and nostalgic? me too, when i think about the tourists that are going to be using the parking spaces this summer that i SWEAR to you were destined for one of my ever-dying big ol GMs. argh. so when are you gonna visit the cape again anyways?

    ReplyDelete
  21. HAHHAHAHAH, The Breeze! Worst public transportation ever.

    'Dith, not for a while. My brothers are coming down tomorrow to help me move. Try and hitch a ride. Make GPA sleep on the hotel floor.

    ReplyDelete
  22. "I been living in SE my whole life, so why should i care about you?"

    This pretty much sums up everything that's wrong with this city.

    ReplyDelete
  23. IHatePublicTransportationMarch 30, 2006

    Metro sucks. The smell, the odd looking people, the sticky shit on the walls, the grease on the window, ear popping-gum chewing bit. All of it. I am glad I drive my car to work everyday.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Check out this hilarious clip from So NoTORIous. Either Tori is moonlighting as a dominatrix or making a very convincing video to kidnappers if Mimi La Rue ever went missing-you make the call. So NoTORIous airs on Sunday nights at 10 on Vh1.
    mms://streaming.viacom.com/vh1.com/so_notorious_01_416.wmv

    ReplyDelete
  25. see now thats the kinda person that you stand right in front of, ass to their face, and try and lean in on the curves.

    ReplyDelete
  26. KRYSTAL KOONS = MC2March 31, 2006

    FARGINGFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG

    RUSTY GET A REAL NAME FOR FUCK SAKE. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THE DOUCHEBAG WHO WAS IN VACATION WITH CHEVY CHASE? IF SO, GET RID OF THAT FUCKING RED HAIR AND CHANGE YOUR FUCKING NAME ITS FUCKING STUPID.

    ReplyDelete
  27. just another second-rate blogger.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Yeah, during the four weeks I was on crutches, I only had one person voluntarily give up a Metro seat in the section set aside for the elderly or handicapped. Other times, I just asked the visibly young and able-bodied to get up. Most times they did. Other times they just gave me the look.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I once was sitting on in a subway and a girl (i didnt notice, but apparantly someone boarding did) had her feet out. The man boarding said. "Move your feet or someone or someone is going to trip and slap the shit out of you." She looked like she was going to cry. I think he was mentally challenged anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I also can't stand the people that block the train doors (rush hour nothwithstanding-- you can't help that). They stand directly infront of the doors and then act all suprised and offended when people are having to burrow past them to get to the center of the train. MOVE RETARD!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I love these comments. How do we feel about losers who won't let you get through their makeshift wall to get to your train? I was trying to make a left after getting off of the escalator and get on my train but some asshole went out of his way to block up the gap in the line of people trying to go up the escalator. He even went so far as to push me. I felt great after I shoved the shit ouf of him but I kind of regret not clocking him in the face. Can we say anger management?

    ReplyDelete
  32. My wife was nine months pregnant and quite often people refused to give up a seat for her either, despite the fact that clearly her center of gravity had radically shifted.

    Oh wait, did that happen on the Metro? Perhaps not everyday. But on the American University shuttle to campus? EVERY DAY. EVERY TIME.

    ReplyDelete