Not Much, But It's a Start

What a joyless week it's been here in Washington. We're in the middle of a "crime emergency" that's sprinkled with a heavy dose of racial tension.

In times like these, one needs to look for something that can put a little joy in one's heart. I have found that one thing.

Sign of the Whale is closing its doors.


Sure, it's going to be replaced by an Irish Pub which will surely be disappointing. But this closing will inconvenience many of the people I don't like. Namely meatheads and sluts. I am all about inconveniencing sluts.

And where will all of these orphaned drinkers go? They'll most likely walk the half block to Madhatter's. That's fine by me. My problems with Madhatter are well documented. The combination of the Sign of the Whale crowd and the regular Madhatter crowd will make Madhatter's the Chernobyl of bars. The place will just radiate with morons.

That's a good thing. If everyone I despise goes to the same place, I won't run into them at the more enjoyable saloons in town.

It's nice to see some change for the better around here.


  1. AnonymousJuly 12, 2006

    bring back the sluts!

  2. AnonymousJuly 12, 2006

    Okay, so WHERE exactly are the sluts going now?

  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  4. You use sluts and meatheads in the same sentence like they are equally bad people. Sluts are not bad people. They are just sex positive. They've decided to not let this puritanical scoeity affect who they are and what makes them happy. Shame on you Rusty.

  5. AnonymousJuly 12, 2006

    You seem like a really fun guy!

  6. So Rusty, I've read your complaints about many of the bars in town. Now I know the places you don't like, mainly where Meatheads and Sluts tend to hang out...what places do you actually like?

  7. In the madhatter area, Big Hunt, which, admittedly, has its share of meatheads and sluts.

  8. AnonymousJuly 12, 2006

    I wish formerly anonymous would start up whyihatewhyihatedc again. It was brilliant.

  9. AnonymousJuly 12, 2006

    So enlighten us. If you're a wimpy, socially awkward guy hoping to meet a fat chick, where would you hang out, Randy?

    I'm not kidding.

  10. It would be unwise for you to doubt my ability to drink you all under the table.

    Favorite bars: Big Hunt, Townhouse, Atomic Billiards, Halo, Buffalo Billiards, Malt Shop, The Reef (roof deck only), Nanny O'Brien's, 51st State, and any place with good beer on tap, a good jukebox, and room to move around.

  11. AnonymousJuly 12, 2006

    I'm not one for the socializing scene, but I loved Sign of the Whale at lunch...its burgers were great, a very good Cobb salad, and good beer. Everything a downtowner needs for a 2 hour lunch.

  12. The name "The Big Hunt" always makes me giggle, every time I pass that place.

  13. AnonymousJuly 13, 2006

    I will say this -- Madhatter has a pretty good burger and decent bar food all around. That being said I never, ever go there after dark.

  14. AnonymousJuly 13, 2006

    Rusty, do you have the same love-hate relationship with Nany O'Brien's that I do?

    On one hand the place is completely lacking in any kind of pretensions, bordering on being Plastic Paddy. I like that it's small, that it's run down, and that it's not the Four P's, and hence, Brown Eyed Girl and that god damned Unicorn Song are played slightly less frequently.

    On the other hand, it's, um, gross. The floor has never *not* been truck-stop-sticky, and until the cigarette smoke gets truly kicking in the evenings, the discernable odor of vomit and stale beer is a little disconcerting.

    Oh, and it was one of the three DC bars I could get into in high school.

    Like I said, love-hate.


  15. Nanny bathrooms are truly horrifying. But I love the bar.

  16. AnonymousJuly 13, 2006

    Now that i don't smoke anymore, I'm annoyed by smoky bars. went to one in arlington a couple of weeks ago and my lungs hurt for three days afterward. That never happened when I was a pack a day guy....

  17. AnonymousJuly 13, 2006

    Wha? Huh? I think your confusing Sign of the Whale with Madhatter, which is were said folks usually hang. Sign of the Whale's demise is a loss. They had damn tasty mini burgers.

  18. Have you been to Sign of the Whale on a Friday night? It's horrible.

  19. AnonymousJuly 13, 2006


    See this blog about your girl Linda Cropp? Reminds me of the congresswoman who hit the Capitol Hill cop for touching her "innappropriately" (most likely he grabbed her arm, but hte word innapropriate makes it sound like he grabbed a tittie)....

  20. She is not my girl. I'm leaning Johns for no reason other than press coverage. I'll tell you who I vote for before I cast my ballot.

  21. It's all about having the room to hang, man.

  22. AnonymousJuly 13, 2006

    I hate when I visit a bar for the first time and don't realize the bathrooms are only single occupancy. Then when you try the door, a line of people you thought were just hanging gets on your arse about it. Really snotty.

    then you happen to look at some b-tch and she thinks you're checking her out and has to start making out w/ her bald boyfriend. Whatever. I hate bar scenes.

  23. AnonymousJuly 13, 2006

    Wow, that last post really gave me the douche chills. Just reading about your social ineptness is enough to make anyone feel uncomfortable. When girls notice that your staring at them they probably get freaked out and start making out with some random guy so you wont come over awkwardly try to hit on them. LMAO

  24. OK, that's pretty funny. I'm not THAT bad though.

  25. AnonymousJuly 13, 2006

    No, I'm actually not that inept. I think I might have been looking at the television BEHIND that woman, who wasn't actually that attractive.

    It was one of those moments when someone was flattering themselves. I was annoyed b/c I was actually a lot more attractive. Once, a woman did that and I was staring at her b/c I felt sorry for how ugly she was.

    I'm sure you're a hottie.

  26. AnonymousJuly 13, 2006

    DC is a fucking war zone.

    How the fuck do you get your neck slashed for no fucking reason? Live in shit DC, that's how, you fucking turdnecks.

  27. AnonymousJuly 13, 2006

    Why does everyone on this message board/blog use such dumb insults.

    YOu got "Douche Chills?" Someone's a "turdneck?"

    You're a "Cat Queef."

    Btw, I agree w/ Turdneck. I can't believe I lived in DC for six years before finally coming to my sense and moving to NOVA. People get out of MY way on the sidewalk now. I, ME, the bad element....

    Furthermore, I resent people who criticize white people for being alarmed that a white guy's throat was slashed and his girlfriend sexually assaulted. We don't have the right to express concern about that just b/c others have awful lives?

    We have the right to express concern, reassess our living and travel decisions, and pressure government to do something about it. That said, the damn police should help our fellow human beings out in the minority-majority neighborhoods too. That sucks too.

    I have a black belt but always carried a weapon when I lived in DC. I knew another white guy who always carried a loaded gun--and used drew it once at Union Station.

  28. AnonymousJuly 13, 2006

    Hey Rusty, come to DC9 on Friday night sometime with me and my friends. Fuck these meathead sympathizers.

  29. AnonymousJuly 13, 2006

    qaI saw this in the "I Saw You" section of the Washington City Paper tonight. Sums up the Madhatter clientele nicely:

    We were both dancing in the lower part of Madhatters; you on the bench, me on the floor. I was a dancing fool in shades and a white cap, you were looking hot in a striped tube top. You said your name was Meg? How did you know to ask for my business card? You should get ahold of me:)

  30. AnonymousJuly 14, 2006

    what a great story to tell the grandchidern.

  31. AnonymousJuly 14, 2006

    I gave you the "douche chills." You fucking dork! LMAO@U!

  32. I only went to Sign of the Whale twice, once for Senior Week and once during the Halloween Bar Crawl. I can't say I'll miss it.
    I love that Mike O'Meara's opening a bar in DC since I like Don and Mike, but it's bound to be the exact type of bar I hate. It's vexing. I'm vexed.

  33. AnonymousJuly 14, 2006

    If I had to move back to DC proper, I might consider carrying an illegal (and illegally concealed) firearm. Mace is legal now. I guess you could drown them in that sh-t. I'd need to carry a bucket of it to dump over someone's head.....

  34. AnonymousJuly 14, 2006

    It seems that in DC you're either at a dive bar like Madhatter or a pretentious obnoxious "exclusive" lounge. Uh, please exclude me! I'll take the dive bar- rather talk with a meathead about the Red Sox than with a wanna-be politican about his popped collar or health care or whatever those people talk about.
    I just went to that HillNews link and died a little bit on the inside. I'm seriously considering infiltrating that group just to sabotage it.

  35. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  36. Hey, sluttiness is in the eye of the beholder. A slut may just be a chicks with a better sex life than someone else. Go sluts!