So, I've put together a little graphic to help us track how long it has been since the last murder. Let's see, some kid was shot in the head on Monday and died on Tuesday and that's the last murder I've heard of in the District. So, should we count that as Monday or Tuesday? I say Monday because that's when the violence occurred, so Monday it is.
UPDATE: A woman was killed in SE this morning, so the counter has changed to reflect the latest murder
Ah, who are we kidding. We know that this doesn't matter. We know that not every murder victim has equal value. We don't care about most victims' emotions or families or dreams. Thus, we obviously need another murder counter that takes this into consideration. We need to track the murders that get things done, that get CRIME EMERGENCIES declared. We need to know how long it's been since someone that matters was murdered. So, to that end, we present the "Effective" murder tracker.
Great post! Funny and topical, with pretty pictures and quality writing.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, how can we get Schuyler on here full time? How can we get rid of Rusty? The best plan I've got so far is making him feel so bad about himself that he quits (a la Police Academy).
Hang it up, Rusty. For the good of the city!
whyihatedc is bigger than Rusty. it is time the true legacy of james f. be picked up by schuyler.
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I submit that JamesF was high on sniffing Seattle-roasted coffee beans when he picked Rusty.
Shouldn't you also have a graphics of days since the last white woman was murdered. It will probably be the same as the days since a murder in Georgetown but I white woman may be murdered somewhere else in NW DC.
ReplyDeleteFor all of your who love Schuyler, why not just read his blog instead of this one?
ReplyDeleteAdded bonus: Schuyler doesn't love child molestors, like Rusty does.
Well played, Schuyler.
ReplyDeleteAnd to the Whiny McWhinersons, why on God's green earth do you keep coming here to complain, if you hate it so much? Why not start your own blog, if Rusty's is inadequate? Clearly you have the time to do so.
I think I need to pick up Photoshop.
ReplyDeleteWell played, Alanna.
ReplyDeleteAnd Rusty, you can do this kind of stuff with Paint.NET which is totally free. It rules.
http://www.getpaint.net/index.html
Time to reset that first counter:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nbc4.com/news/9584564/detail.html
Glad to see that Crime Emergency bullshit is working.
Yes, Rusty, yes... let the hate fill you...
ReplyDeleteI actually have only been coming to complain over the last three days or so (and it only takes about three minutes to dash off a complaint--not nearly enough time to maintain or even start a blog).
ReplyDeleteI'd given up on this blog about three weeks after Rusty took over. But I was on the Internet the other day and was moved to check this site. Lo and behold, our savior, Schuyler, appeared before me in a blog post. I'm just here to offer my testimony. Praise Schuyler! James F created him in His own image, they say!
Once Schuyler's tenure is up at WIHDC, I will begin reading his blog on a regular basis. Until then, I will come here, to this open forum, and lobby for change.
Rust, a good post. These trolls be damned!
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I've had my doubts, but the shit-eating grin post made me a loyal fan.
-Troll
From George Pelecanos's "Right As Rain:"
ReplyDelete"Because of the numbing consistency of the murder rate, and because lower-class black life held little value in the media’s eyes, the violent deaths of young black men and women in the District of Columbia had not been deemed particularly newsworthy for the past fifteen years. Murders of young blacks rarely made the lead-off in the TV news and were routinely buried inside the Metro section of the Washington Post, the details consisting of a paragraph or two at best, the victims often unidentified, the follow-up nil. Suburban liberals plastered Free Tibet stickers on the bumpers of their cars, seemingly unconcerned that just a few short miles from the White House, American children were enslaved in nightmare neighborhoods, living amid gunfire and drugs and attending dilapidated public schools. The nation was outraged at high school shootings in white neighborhoods, but young black men and women were murdered without fanfare in the nation’s capital every single day."
Read Pelecanos for some great fiction that captures the essence of the huge racial divide in our city.
Ok, I'll go talk to all my fellow urban white liberals, if you go talk to all your angy young black men. deal?
ReplyDeleteseriously, it's always that one black guy who rams through people while they're exiting the metro just to board, or cuts off ten cars just to get to the next red light.
Yeah, it's like i see that one black guy just about every day. HE hates ME, not the other way around.
ReplyDeleteand, i'm sorry dude, but how would i fare if i lived in, say, ghana...or china?
Great satire Schuyler! I miss the murder tracker.
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