12.31.2008

Already sick of DC

So I've been back in D.C. for a couple of days now, but haven't had the energy to really even touch a computer. Somewhere on the 30 hour train ride from Chicago to Virginia, I'm pretty sure I was infected with Captain Trips.

But you see, I'm not going to particularly hate on Amtrak, even though it was most likely their fault. Yeah, there was a big snowshitstorm in Chicago, and it caused some delays. Our train was supposed to depart December 23 at 5:45, but didn't get going until around 9 PM. Then we broke down. We never got out of the city of Chicago. Less than 20 miles away from the train station our engine dies. No worries, they will just send another engine. Except that one breaks, too. Eight hours later they hook us up to a Union Pacific freight engine that takes us to Indianapolis. At 1 AM on Christmas, we finally arrive, just 13.5 hours late. Nothing like getting in to Clifton Forge, VA at 1:30 AM instead of noon.

But whatever, other than the bitter cold in Chicago, and the train from hell, my week away from D.C. was pretty nice. And I'll be damned if I really didn't want to get back here. It seems whenever I visit someplace else (Montreal, Philadelphia, Chicago or Gary, Ind.) I'd rather live there than here.

And good God if I don't want to deal with the Inauguration shitshow. As of the last I paid attention, Rt. 50 inbound to D.C. will be closed, as will 66 and 395 inside the Beltway. Knowing our luck, some asshole homegrown terrorist will put a bag of sugar on the Metro with a note saying it's a bomb to blow up the "Black House."

Who else isn't even going to try to bother to see anything and will either be fleeing the city or watching it on TV?

34 comments:

  1. I will only step out of my house that day to walk the dog. I'm not masochistic enough to either drive or take public transport. Just remind me to get groceries a few days in advance so I don't starve in exile!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yea, I was thinking about going but
    I had a rather visual day dream of some doofus doing something and starting a never ending stampede. Now I'm thinking about just staying home and getting blitzed.

    Welcome back tho!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am buying ammo and German Shepards. Thank you Right To Carry!

    ReplyDelete
  4. What kind of fucking moron takes a train to and from Chicago?

    Also, your troll-fu is weak.

    move to Gary already and do us all a favor

    ReplyDelete
  5. This post sums up my feelings about DC exactly! And I am getting the heck out of here come inauguration weekend!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. hey, don't bash the train. for about the same price as a plane ticket, you can get a roomette in the sleeper car and be treated like some sort of mid-level royalty from a crappy country.

    sure, on a good day, the trip takes 17 hours... but you get complementary meals in the dining car, access to the first class lounge at union station, priority boarding, etc&etc.

    i'd rather travel that way then be subjected to the hell that is airlines. especially in the winter. i'd rather spend 29 hours on a train with a bed and free food and coffee than 29 hours sleeping on a chair at an airport terminal.

    ReplyDelete
  7. i'm planning to leave town for inauguration day to rendezvous with a pretty white lady. i'll say i was there, however.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yeah, I'm getting the heck out of here, I found some awesome deals out of DCA... Somehow I'm supposed to work the 20th, just two blocks from the WH, not sure how they expect me to make it in...

    ReplyDelete
  9. So because taking a plane might at some point take as long as taking the train, that makes taking the train an acceptable alternative? That's like saying that russian roulette is similar when played with either one or all chambers loaded.

    When will you be moving to Gary, again? I hear it's lovely this time of year.

    ReplyDelete
  10. train is an acceptable alternative, if you're not in a hurry.

    it is true it will never get me there in 2.5 hours, which is the best case scenario for a plane.

    i'm hopin' gary will get some gentrification one of these days! just gotta get the jackson's to move back.

    ReplyDelete
  11. "As of the last I paid attention, Rt. 50 inbound to D.C. will be closed, as will 66 and 395 inside the Beltway"

    Ummm... if you live in DC, these are good things!

    Sounds like you live in Fairfax?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Matt said "i'm planning to leave town for inauguration day "

    Matt, you are already out of town! Jeez, nothing worse than a Virginian saying "I live in DC". Why don't you just say you live in Virginia and/or Arlington?

    ReplyDelete
  13. I booked a flight out of the area the day they said they were extending the bar hours. Leaving Saturday the 17th, coming back the following Saturday. $140 r/t for what's usually a $280 flight. Thank you, Obama.

    ReplyDelete
  14. "i'm planning to leave town for inauguration day to rendezvous with a pretty white lady."

    Say hello to your mother for me. (and she's not that pretty.)

    ReplyDelete
  15. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I went to AU, the campus where the too-political congregate, so everyone I know is clamoring not just to go *outside* on inauguration day, but to pack up their cameras and head to the National Mall. I expect to lose at least three friends to trampling.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Matt said "i'm planning to leave town for inauguration day "

    Matt, you are already out of town! Jeez, nothing worse than a Virginian saying "I live in DC". Why don't you just say you live in Virginia and/or Arlington?

    --You fucking moron. Without the four million people surrounding D.C. proper, you 500,000 people would look pretty stupid w/ nothing to do. Yes, I live in Arlington within walking distance to Georgetown but what the fuck is the diff?

    Idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  18. "--You fucking moron. Without the four million people surrounding D.C. proper, you 500,000 people would look pretty stupid w/ nothing to do. Yes, I live in Arlington within walking distance to Georgetown but what the fuck is the diff?"

    The "diff" is that you don't live in DC; you live in VA. I can walk to MD but I don't say "I live in MD" because I live in DC. Only a dolt or a conflicted asshole would do that. (which are you?)

    Get it? I can direct you to a map if visual aides will help you to comprehend "the diff".

    ReplyDelete
  19. "you 500,000 people would look pretty stupid w/ nothing to do. "

    Yep, nothing to do here in DC.

    That's why you never, ever come here, right? Because there is nothing to do- Right?

    Please, stay the fuck out. Assholes like you are why I Hate DC.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Mattie was a Wigger for Halloween.

    Scroll down.

    (a boy can dream, can't he?)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Typical Marylander interacting with a typical Virginian in a back alley in DC.

    Note that the typical DC resident documenting the MD/VA interaction was simultaneously horrified and amused.

    Can you guess which one is from VA?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Is anything wrong with just saying "I live in the DC Area." I never understood why people actually got pissed about where someone says they live. It's a phenomenon virtually everywhere you go, not just a DC thing.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Some guy in Flyover country: "Where are you from?"

    Me: "I live in Washington DC"

    Flyover guy: "Really, what part?"

    Me: "I live downtown"

    Flyover guy: "Is that in Virginia or Maryland?"

    Me: "No, I live in Washington DC"

    Flyover guy: "You're the first person I've met who says they're from DC and lives in DC."

    DC is unique in that the 'burbanites hate it, yet it is the center of their lives and it is a key aspect of their identities. In other words, they'd NEVER live in DC, but they'll tell anyone and everyone that they live in DC.

    Come on, what's wrong with saying "I live in Arlington VA"? Any moderately-educated person knows where Arlington is. It just sounds cooler to say "I'm from DC", even when you aren't.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Nope, sorry, DC isn't unique in that respect. If it makes DC-transplants feel cooler to feel unique, so be it, but I've met people from cities on the west coast, midwest and east coast, who don't live in the city of their metro area who say the city out of expeditiousness. Maybe you don't live in Arlington, maybe you live in Wheaton, MD. Maybe you live in Harvey, IL or Marin City, CA or Southfield, MI and so on and so on.

    DC isn't unique in this respect, not one bit.

    "DC is unique in that the 'burbanites hate it, yet it is the center of their lives and it is a key aspect of their identities. In other words, they'd NEVER live in DC, but they'll tell anyone and everyone that they live in DC."

    Sorry, but this is utter nonsense. I was born and raised actual cities and I've a lot of places, city residents feel the same way about suburbanites just about everywhere you go when they refer to the city and not the suburb. Very little of this has to do with coolness.

    DC is unique in that it's one of few where the metro area pop. is so much larger than the city (~10x), that's why barely anyone from "DC" is actually from DC.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I remember one time showing someone my DC driver's license out in Montana or somewhere, and they said,

    Motel Clerk: "DC got their own Driver's Licenses?"

    Me: "Yeah."

    Motel Clerk: "Huh. I never seen one 'them before. Didn't know they had those."

    Sort of like the person in Seattle who thought my DC tags were some sort of pretend tags, asking "Are those really DC tags? Or are they vanity plates?"

    No, not a single person lives in the District, and if they did, they would have to choose to either have Maryland or Virginia driver's licenses and license plates.

    Actually, that might be better.

    ReplyDelete
  26. "Sorry, but this is utter nonsense."

    Its utter nonsense if you're part of the culture that needs to identify with something which you aren't really a part of.

    Wheaton?... maybe. How about Ashburn Virgina? I've meet people who live in Ashburn and will look you in the eye and tell you that they "live in Washington DC".

    Who cares if the person you are having a conversation with doesn't know where Ashburn is located? When they ask "where is that?", you can respond with "20 miles west of Washington DC" Doesn't that sound a lot more accurate and much less disingenuous?

    By the way; people who live in Troy MI, Southfield MI, Dearborn MI, etc., won't tell you that they live in Detroit. They don't. I didn't when I lived in one of the above for most of my life.

    ReplyDelete
  27. "Who cares if the person you are having a conversation with doesn't know where Ashburn is located? "

    Who cares? The insecure superficial baby who needs to impress someone by saying they "live in DC" when they really live in Burke, VA and work in Sterling VA.

    It has nothing to do with actual DC residents 'wanting to feel cool'.

    ReplyDelete
  28. "By the way; people who live in Troy MI, Southfield MI, Dearborn MI, etc., won't tell you that they live in Detroit. They don't. I didn't when I lived in one of the above for most of my life."

    I've lived in SE Michigan and my buddies from Oakland and Macomb counties from school in DC tell people they're from Detroit all the time. Or suburban Detroit. Which is like "DC Area" from DC suburbanites. Or they'll say "I'm going back home to Detroit for Christmas" They don't nearly as often say "I'm going back to Royal Oak, MI".

    People do it everywhere. Everyone knows DC is small relative to the metro which sprawls like crazy, that's the only way DC is unique, otherwise people from other cities whether Indianapolis or Houston or whatever, a good number of them say they're city, not their suburb.

    "It has nothing to do with actual DC residents 'wanting to feel cool'."

    I'd say part of it does. Or else you wouldn't think DC is so unique in this respect. Why do you care so much then? If it's the other people w/ the self-esteem issues, why does it make people like you mad so much? They sound like the ones with the problem. It's nothing more than a chuckle. It's easy to ask what part of their city or metro they're from. It just seems like you're doing all the psychoanalysis and making things more complicated than they need to be.

    If you're from a market and you follow a city's sports teams, follow the news and interact from people from there everyday, you will feel a certain connection to the city either way. People shouldn't be so divisive about it, especially if they're a stupid transplant themselves who have less a connection to the area than a local.

    ReplyDelete
  29. "Why do you care so much then?"

    "People shouldn't be so divisive about it"


    The fascinating twist to all this which appears to be lost on you is that we're on a blog entitled "Why I Hate DC".... and that these comments are in direct response to a suburbanite who claims to simultaneously "Live in DC" and "Hate DC", and yet doesn't live in DC and doesn't write about Sterling VA or Gaithersburg MD

    If Sterling is part of "DC", where's the hate for Sterling? Where is the hate for Bethesda? Sheese, you could write an Encyclopedia of Hate for Gaithersburg Maryland, and post excerpts here... because you honestly thin that Gaithersburg = Washington DC

    No more explanation should be necessary unless you are truly obtuse.

    And, no self-respecting resident of Royal Oak, especially one who owns a home in the lovely, independent town of Royal Oak, would claim to look forward to "getting home to Detroit". Ridiculous. Absurd. (Unless you're trying to impress a drunk person in a bar)

    ReplyDelete
  30. A lot of suburbanites do hate their Gaithersburg or Sterling. That goes w/o saying. Do they need to be as depressed and angst-ridden as you, bloviating about it non-stop, to be convinced about it?

    You're the obtuse moron who apparently missed a big part of what's been said. People of Royal Oak may love Royal Oak, it's a nice town, but if you want someone to get a better geographic understanding of where you live, sometimes people say the market if the town itself isn't well-known. People don't always ask where if you say a place they've never heard of. It's not always about wanting to live there which is what you think it's ALL about.

    You know how many Bostonians from the 'burbs who say they're from Boston, tons. I really don't care, it's the same way with many I know from Chicago and Dallas and most other big cities. DCers should feel flattered by it. I often find it's the transplants or those not from DC proper who actually get pissed, I'm FROM DC and it's amusing to me, nothing more and I'm not so self-centered to think it's a DC thing.

    ReplyDelete
  31. "It's not always about wanting to live there which is what you think it's ALL about."

    This assessment is incorrect. I think that people would NEVER choose to live in DC and yet will always SAY that they live in DC.

    People will attend a university in DC, work at a good job in DC, go out to eat in DC, see a play in DC, visit a museum in DC, visit a nightclub in DC, attend church in DC, hang out in DC, go running in DC, etc. But they would NEVER, EVER live there, which ultimately translates into going to sleep and waking up in DC. They would never buy property there, would certainly never, EVER put down anything resembling roots in DC. But they'll say they "live in DC"

    Hypocrisy.

    Get it?

    And if you're really "from DC" (the actual place), it sounds as if you moved away and have some regrets. Good luck with that.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Here is the blog for all 4,500,000 of you who say "I live in DC" and live in MD or VA.

    Greater Greater Washington

    ReplyDelete
  33. Anon, keep your "Greater Greater" filth off this blog ;)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Since when is it an honor to say that you "live in DC?" Seriously, people get a grip.

    ReplyDelete