DMV Fails

1. Accessibility Fail. Why the fuck is Georgetown now the only DMV location in NW that does drivers’ license shit? Sometime in the past few years, apparently the DMV changed the C Street location to provide “adjudication” services and only adjudication services, leaving us with a tiny DMV in a tiny, depressing shopping mall as the only option in NW if you need to obtain or renew your license in person.

This is completely misguided since for one thing, getting to Georgetown (unless you already live there, I guess) is a huge pain in the ass. Either you have to take the bus, which we all know is inefficient at best, walk (several miles if you live in upper NW, and I can only assume this one DMV is supposed to serve everyone in the entire quadrant), or drive. Okay, it's likely you are a driver if you need to go to the DMV, but what if you don’t have your license yet or your license is expired??

AND, for another thing, if you DO elect to drive, you then have to deal with a completely cocked up parking situation involving cobblestone streets, battling a bunch of doucheball drivers (and pedestrians), and/or that bullshit mall garage where you can drive around for hours looking for a space, all the while trying to dodge all the giant SUVs belonging to assholes who decided they were tired of looking and just parked in the traffic lane. Jesus.

2. Hours of Operation Fail. If Georgetown is going to be the only location in NW providing drivers’ license services, could it please not be closed on Mondays? Is it a fucking bakery now??

3. Website Usability Fail. If you’re going to have non-standard hours for your DMV, could you please not jack up the code on your website to the point where said website doesn’t display correctly on an iPhone so that people can fucking find out your shit is closed before they schlep to Georgetown?

Before this ill-conceived switch to an adjudication services-only C Street, I actually didn’t think our DMV was any worse than any other state’s DMV. I mean sure, it’s annoying to have to go down there and TCB, but it was pretty efficient and I never dealt with anyone particularly unpleasant. Now, of course, it’s a lot worse since everyone has to go to Georgetown and that office is just too small to deal with the vast increase in number of customers, so the line was out the door and no one knew what was going on. But, you know, every reasonable person expects a trip to the DMV to be a crapfest, and DC’s DMV doesn’t present any more or less of a crapfest than any other state’s DMV that I’m familiar with -- so my issue isn’t with that. It’s with the jackassery of Georgetown and the lameness of having such limited options. DC government, to borrow a line from my other favorite DC blog, I will see you in hell.


  1. The C Street services relocated to a stand alone facility located at 95 M St SW, in between Waterfront and Navy Yard green line stops. The website says there are four service centers throughout the city, http://dmv.dc.gov/info/dropbox.shtm

    Thankfully, as long as you don't move, renewals are easily done online and you don't have to step foot in any DC DMV! I wonder if that DC DMV spoof website still exists?

  2. I had to go to the Gtown DMV to renew my expired license and I was in and out in under 15 minutes. They actually had a pretty good system for triaging services. I got there right when it opened though, so maybe it gets worse later in the day.

  3. You're very, very wrong.....DC's DMV was (and probably is) much worse than Virginia's. Hell, it used to be they didn't even have numbers - you just had to stand in line(s) for hour upon hour.

  4. I do not understand why a DMV would not have a better parking setup. Nor do I understand why they would put the main renewal location in one of the most impossible places to get around in DC, Georgetown.

    That said, my past experiences with the DMV have been mostly positive. However, now that I live near Georgetown and have had the misfortune of going to the G'town DMV, the quality of my experiences has deteriorated.

  5. While I am no lover of DMV, this is just wrong.

    1) EVERY DMV on the planet earth sucks. It's DMV, not Dave and Buster's.

    2) DC DMV is about 1,374,212 times better than it was ten years ago. I mean, if you lose your license which happens every other month when you get mugged, you can just order a new one online for 7 bucks!

    3) Hating on the locations? Who cares if there's only one in northwest? It's not Starbucks, and DC just isn't that big. Even though I live in NW I would never go to G'town because there's no metro and parking sucks ass. The SW and NE locations are very convenient for both Metro and parking.

    So Accessibility Fail because apparently you are too afraid to go to a DMV location that's not in yuppieland. Sorry. DMV is actually quite good for accessibility.

    4) Georgetown is NOT THE ONLY LOCATION providing DL services dumbass! There are two others that are on metro, and open on Monday.

    5) Seriously? You are complaining because their web site doesn't work on .... your iPHONE?

    Could you actually bother to go to a real computer the one time a year you need to use DMV's web site? Good grief. Personally, I'm glad that my tax dollars aren't being used to make their web site work with every trend junkie's toy web browser. Maybe you should ask Apple why the web browser on their iPhone isn't compatible with the industry standards.

    Seriously. That's the lamest criticism of DMV I've ever read. There are so many things wrong in this city, but not a single one of your complaints about DMV is anything other than the whining of an overpriveleged suburban transplant. Who's probably never even been to a DMV in the suburbs either, since their parents did that for them.

  6. And @Anonymous, perhaps it was not clear from my previous comment. Georgetown is NOT THE MAIN LOCATION! The main location is on M street SW, a friggin block from the metro. And the Brentwood location, also a friggin block from the Metro. Both provide all services. Both have parking. Quitcher bitchin and do one iota of research before complaining.

  7. Could we all make this "Fail" thing stop happening? It was funny the first 30 times bloggers started using it to be cute.

    Same with "teh" and same with this whole is talking like is cat trend.

  8. @Anon: meh.


    Happy new year d00dz!!

  9. I used to work in the Washington Harbor Building, you know the Georgetown Waterfront. the 30 buses would leaving me waiting for 20+ minutes in front of that goddamn Urban Outfitters along wisconsin ave (where I would be surrounded by ugg-clad 15 year old pricks). and after working all day, the last thing I would want to do is walk 2.5 miles to my glover park abode. the result? I became broke taking cabs all the time

  10. Jamie,

    You are the fucking man (woman?). Thank you for putting this douche who makes all transplants look bad in her place.

  11. (snicker snicker) I actually live w/in easy walking distance of that place
    fine, do what you want to me.

    I went Tuesday at lunch. There was hardly a line. Of course they gave me hell, so since I didn't have time to wait for a fax to arrive I did leave.

  12. fuck the dmv and fuck agent d. coulette!

  13. I've been to the Georgetown and Southwest service center locations several times unfortunately, definitely the worst DMV in the US. The attitude of the staff is simply apalling, nothing but a bunch of stupid jigaboo's programmed to say no and to basically get you out the door without resolving any of your issues. I saw a perfectly reasonable middle class 65 year old woman ejected from the Georgetown office for daring to complain about a parking ticket. Living proof that pavlovian conditioning works on Chimpanzees too, my advice is take a bunch of bananas for added bargaining power or move out of the district.

  14. I know someone who works for DMV DC and she is a nice person.