Two Random Ways The City Will Try To Kill You

1. DC Paramedics.
I wasn’t going to bother posting this because it’s not really news. Everyone knows that if you call an ambulance in DC it either won’t arrive or the crackerjack medic will find a way to make your heart stop. WTOP.com:

D.C. Fire Chief Dennis Rubin said firefighters and paramedics responded to a home in Northeast for a 39-year-old man having trouble breathing. The call came in at 11:40 p.m., and help arrived about five minutes later. The paramedics treated the man and left. He was later found dead at his home.

"Personnel provided service on the scene, but the patient was not transported to the hospital," Rubin said. "Authorities responded back to the same location early today and found the same patient deceased."

2. Toxic Dust Cloud.
For over a month, “People in downtown DC are worried about their health because and unexpected dust could that came from a construction site near the White House on 17th and H Streets Northwest. Those standing near the site can feel their eyes burning and can taste and feel the particles in their mouths.”

This is quite the catch-22. Anyone experiencing these symptoms should think twice before calling the paramedics.


  1. Should there be a video here?

  2. What about taxi drivers?? It's like
    Road Rash out here!

  3. The vid is from a local news chanel explaining the story in detail. Bascially, I added it because I'm lazy and didn't want to explain what I'm explaining anyway which is that part of the problem is that the fire hydrants aren't working in the immediate area and so the construction crew can't water down all the dust.

  4. In the case of the EMS, the part that gets me is that the EMS worker talked the family out of sending the victim to the hospital and giving him Milk of Magnesia. The poor guy had chest pains. He wasn't constipated. I'll just have be charged with driving without a liscense before I call EMS.