Hey, assholes: Kindly refrain from blasting generic 90s cock rock out of your boom-boom wannabe ghettomobile on Connecticut Avenue in the middle of the goddamn night. Woodley Park is not hard or street, and neither are you. Fucking poseurs.
And while we’re at it…
Hey, fratty Virginians: When you are drunkenly stumbling to your car so you can swerve your way back to the Commonwealth (classy!) or lumbering toward the Metro after your evening in Adams Morgan, no one wants to hear your pleated khaki-clad ass have a loud argument with your ex-girlfriend on your cell phone from the sidewalk -- including, most likely, her. So shut the fuck up.
You know, I enjoy the expected bustling street noise in a normal urban environment, but sadly, that’s not what we get here in our nation’s capital. Instead, it’s just a bunch of douchery, posturing, and lameness. Piss off, dicksmacks.