Countdown to Barackalypse

Yes, we're going to keep bitching about this on here. Also we're going to completely ignore the fact that most of us likely voted for Obama, probably volunteered for his campaign, and possibly even worked for him. And we all celebrated on election night, etc, etc.

Today I'm going to talk about the god-awful quality of the local news outlets. First off, they have horrible web sites. NBC4 recently "upgraded" their web site, and managed to make it even worse than their previous one. However now the tagline is "Locals Only." For a site that's aimed at locals, they do a piss poor job of putting any local news on there. WTOP is by far the worst, with broken web design, horribly written articles, and a group of commenters even crazier than this site. WJLA might be the best, but don't try going there if your office forces you to use Internet Explorer, it will freeze your browser for 30-60 seconds every time you load a page.

Anyhow, all of that aside, they are running the most pointless inauguration articles, esepcially this gem about terrorists. This article also appeared on WJLA, and probably WTOP as well. It's based on some AP piece about how "[t]he Jan. 20 inauguration is an attractive target for international and domestic terrorist groups."

No shit, really?

Hell, the inauguration itself is going to break the city more than bombs going off during rush hour. Terrorists attacking while this shitshow is in progress? And the bridges are closed? I don't even want to start to think about the logistics of that nightmare.

"An intelligence assessment obtained by The Associated Press said the high visibility of the event, the presence of dignitaries and the significance of swearing in the country's first black president make the inauguration vulnerable to attacks."

Yes, pretty much anyone in the world who has a problem with 1) the U.S. Government, 2) Black People, and 3) Liberals will be aiming to disrupt this event.

I'm glad that the Government figured this out ahead of time, and I'm glad that the AP was able to obtain this report, so all of us could learn that someone might have a problem with Barack Obama being inaugurated as President of the United States.

Oh yeah, and also Bruce Springsteen is rumored to perform for free on the Mall on Jan 18, making for a nice nougaty clusterfuck.


  1. You know, it's possible, just possible, that the people who hate on the US -- an emotion largely a consequence of policy driven by our outgoing pres -- might just hang back and see what the next administration brings before trying to blow us up again. I'm not saying there aren't plenty of nutjobs who'd prefer to see the USA in ashes either way, but I'm just sayin'.

    Anyway, the economic damage inflicted by 9/11 is nothing compared to what we've done to ourselves since then. By now they should realize that a terrorist attack at this point would help this country more than harm it by giving us someone else to hate more than each other.

  2. Oh I agree, we've done more harm to ourselves than terrorists ever could, sort of proving the fact that terrorism isn't exactly a very good tool.

  3. The Bush administration wasn't responsible for drawing the enmity of terrorists.... That happened when GHW Bush put G.I.s in Saudi Arabia.

    We need to get out on front of those developing industries in alternative energy.

  4. "WTOP is by far the worst, with broken web design, horribly written articles, and a group of commenters even crazier than this site."

    That's an understatement. That site is populated disturbed infants that have the motor skills to post comments. Their hate for DC is obvious, but that isn't saying much because they hate everything, including themselves.

  5. Your "nice nougaty clusterfuck" leaves out the fact that January 22nd is the anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision which means that all of the assholes who feel they have a stake in that are going to be in town as well...like they are every year on the 22nd, an event for which Metro fails to plan every single year resulting in the complete fucktastrophy of people waiting in sub-zero weather just to get into subway stations while overloaded Metro buses breakdown on the streets.

    Yeah, sometimes it's really swell to live in "The Nation's Capital"

  6. I can't wait to see the main avenues and parkways completely clogged from the Potomac all the way to the DC/Maryland border. The one time to have a moped and look like a douchebag will be during inauguration weekend. There will be no other efficient means of travel, other than helicopter.

  7. Anonymous is probably the number 1 commenter at the WTOP site. That is how he/she/it knows so much about those who comment there.

    Enjoy your lucid moment anonymous!

  8. enjoy the day holed up in your lonely apt with doritos and beer.

  9. More like some good wine, a television, and sex.

  10. "Enjoy your lucid moment anonymous!"

    I never comment on WTOP.com. That was a nice piece of solipsism that you posted here, however.

    (go on, look it up; how else will you know what I'm talking about if you don't expand your vocabulary a little, Lazy Eye?)