Many of us Washingtonians are transplants ourselves. We, too, come from Iowa or North Carolina. We, too, were once excited to learn that D.C. has a Hard Rock Cafe. (We went! We liked it! Once.) We see you in your non-ironic Keds, struggling to find your white paper farecard because you didn't know you would need it to exit the station, and our hearts involuntarily beat, My people! My people!
We want you to do well here. We want you to represent.
Washington is an imposing place, with a wonky and complex culture that is hard to understand. We worked hard to assimilate, and have only recently adjusted. At chaotic times like this, with administration changes and party changes and an influx of a whole bunch of new guys, we are all a little off-kilter. We all feel a little like tourists.
What?? Jesus! No wonder we're surrounded by epic douchery at all times. Now people are openly admitting that they are putting on some bullshit front of a wonky, complex, hard-to-understand culture that they imposed on themselves when they moved to this craphole of a city?
You have got to be kidding me. Maybe I have limited social experience, but I don't know anyone who was at one point excited about DC's Hard Rock Cafe of all places, and I have never heard of anyone here or elsewhere who actually feels tourists are "their people." And also, Monica, for the love of flat-front pants, people standing to the left is going to be the least of our problems over the next week. I realize the whole stand to the right "rule" is sort of cute and hilarious in a certain light, but when that's the closest thing your city has to quirky, it's not exactly endearing. It's more like "annoying" and "lame." And "disappointing."
Good luck surviving the next few days, everybody.