1.06.2009

Last Week's Hate




“Page Six” of The New York Post late last month reported that media mogul Oprah Winfrey planned to move to our nation’s capital to join her new pal in the White House--and I nearly shit myself with anticipation.

Not since the triumvirate of Dick Cheney, the “do-nothing” 110th Congress and that overrated purveyor of East Coast chili on U Street would the District of Columbia give me such reason to hate. Alas, the rumor proved untrue as the “mainstream media” found only one $50 million structure in Georgetown large enough to house the diva—and that no deal had been worked.

Thus, for the coming weeks and months of my tenure in Washington, D.C., I shall focus my enmity on random and obscure targets, each and every one of you.

7 comments:

  1. Good work, M@. Keep writing shorter and shorter posts until they disappear all together. Then we'll all have one less reason to h8.

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  2. When do you check out of this tangled mess called DC?

    Perhaps we can have a "Hatedown" or a "Hatedown-athon" as the date draws near. Then we'll send you off in style. (where are you headed, anywho?)

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  3. Well if she does move here, maybe you can rape her? Think she will even feel anything with that needle dick of yours?

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  4. Rape seem to be common theme in the comments for your posts.

    I think you may have a secret admirer.

    That or the FBI needs to track someone down before they strike again.

    People ask me where the best place to be for a hurricane is. I tell them "France". Because the hurricane will not be there. So when South FL is in a hurricane watch or warning, the best place to be is at the airport, boarding the Air France 747. Or the American Airlines 777 bound for London. Or any plane heading to Canada. The Rocky Mountains are also a nice place to visit. As long as you are not here.

    I would feed the EXACT same way about the inauguration. Where is the best place to be? Anywhere else.

    Good luck man.

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  5. Lazy Eye said:

    "Rape seem to be common theme in the comments for your posts. "

    You appear to have missed all the rape references that Matt makes in his posts.

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  6. Sorry to disappoint, haters, but I've got a few good posts in the can nearly ready to go. I'm trying for 1,500 or words per post, with illustrations. You can expect at least another dozen or so posts from me before I tire of this game.

    Btw, the only reason I mentioned rape frequently in my posts was to egg on you Literal Larries out there, suffering from Ugly Bitch Syndrome. You know, it's the ones MOST concerned about rape and sexual assault that are least likely to draw attention....

    Seriously, I eschew violence against anyone but it's fun to mess with you.

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  7. "it's the ones MOST concerned about rape and sexual assault that are least likely to draw attention...."

    That explains why you have "had any" since you had that fat, drunk bitch 7 years ago.

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