Week 1 in Obamaland

Let's take a second to welcome a few thousand idealistic young people who are moving into our fair city. And by idealistic, I mean ambitious. We're getting a new brigade of khaki and lanyard kids who think they can change the world. This time it's making the world a better place with less war and more abortions, instead of vice versa.

Anyhow, these new ivy league educated kids are moving into the more 'urban' areas, such as Columbia Heights, U Street, and probably some in Mt. Pleasant and Petworth. This fact has lead various newspapers and magazines (NYT and Nylon, for starters) to fall all over themselves about the "undiscovered D.C." These articles actually read more like a quick glance at Yelp, but whatevs.

In case you were wondering, here are a couple cool places for the greenhorn politicos just arriving in DC.

Named after Marvin Gaye, this is an overpriced fusion of southern-style American cuisine and Belgian food. It's the new exclusive place to get waffles and fried chicken. Did I mention it's very exclusive? It's also right by Gibson, one of those "speakeasies" that have been popping up all over area. Sorry, it's not a real "speakeasy" because prohibition ended 75 years ago. And you lose all "cred" if you send people text messages when seats are available.

Cork Wine Bar
This is a good wine bar for people to go to if you don't like wine or money. Because here you will spend a lot of money on wine that isn't very good, and you don't even get very decent pours. There's probably a dozen or so wine bars in DC these days, most of which are a better deal than Cork. I know, I know, wine bars by definition are for yuppies and douches, but I like the idea of being able to purchase a glass of wine that I'd never, ever by a bottle of... I'd be okay spending $9-10 for a glass of wine that costs $40-50 per bottle. I'm not okay spending $9-10 for a glass of wine that costs $11 for a bottle at Whole Foods. Yeah, we're on to you, Cork. BUT NYT loves you, as does Washington Post, because you're so so so very hip. Sparky's was better.

And remember, for every paid Obama Administration staffer that moves here, you've got 5 more unemployed kids coming here hoping to get jobs with Obama. A few weeks in, they realize that's NOT how it works, and then they lament about their poor unemployed existence, while mom and dad pay for them to live in their group house in Columbia Heights.

"But I went to Harvard! When I was growing up I was specifically told I could do whatever I want when I grow up! I want to be Sam Seaborn from THE WEST WING!"

Don't worry, they still have enough available credit on their Visa card to go hang out at Tryst to look for jobs on Craigslist and post missed connections.

Gotta keep that D.C economy humming.


  1. FANTASTIC. If you would kind sir...would you inform said newcomers about the real hotspot...Tom Tom in Adams Morgan. ;)

  2. At least if we know they're all at Tom Toms we can avoid them...actually I try to avoid Adams Morgan as a matter of course.

  3. Good stuff, Dave.

    I like how there is a word to describe that thing that is a lanyard.

  4. Gibson's was written up in the NY Times this weekend so I guess it's not so secret anymore.

  5. I also look forward to the upcoming obits for Smith Point and Townhall, interviewing despondent management and patrons alike about how the "DC scene" has changed forever.

  6. Bets post in a long long time.

    The New York Times was SO much more hip when they pretended that life stopped at New Jersey.

  7. I too hold West Wing responsible for this city's concentraded population of annoying little shits.

  8. Dave, your comments about Cork are so unbalanced and snarky that they cannot possibly be taken seriously. Either you've never been there and are relying upon hearsay, or you simply weren't paying attention when you were there.

    Cork is just about to celebrate it's 1 year anniversary, and they are incredibly popular. Ever read Yogi Berra's comment about Toots Shores restaurant in New York? "Toots Shores is so crowded, nobody goes there anymore." Yeah, that's Cork. They are beloved by the neighborhood and a HUGE improvement over Sparky's. Their chef is first-rate, and the small plates menu is terrific. Are you so unfamiliar with European wines that you automatically assume that they aren't any good because you simply don't understand them? They have plenty of offerings which are over $30/bottle, but they aren't PUSHING them or featuring them. Instead, they feature more wines under $20/bottle because that is what most people can afford. They offer interesting flights of wines, too. Oh, and their bar manager happens to be one of D.C.'s very best, so try a cocktail next time if you're so critical of the wine list, you won't be disappointed.

    I'm not surprised that you weren't satisfied with your wine pours there. You strike me as a "glass half-empty" kind of guy.

    By the way, don't you remember how young the Clinton White House staff was? Their average age was certainly younger than Obama's so far. They all seemed to hang out at Chief Ike's in Adam's Morgan at the time.

  9. I like how those parts of DC are undiscovered. It's abotu as undiscovered as America was when only the Native Americans lived here. I'm sure some folks in DC feel about the same way. it's nice until a bunch of foreigners invade your space. I know it's good for revenue and blah blah blah but it doesn't change the fact that sometimes when the atmosphere changes it doesn't feel like it is for the better.