State of Emergency!

ZOMGWTFLOLBBQ Barack Obama was at Marie Reed shooting hoops Sunday afternoon. Totally missed it! Gotta work off those calories from Ben's, I suppose.

So yeah, in case you missed it, a state of emergency has been declared in the District of Columbia, releasing federal funds to assist with the Inauguration. Take that, New Orleans.

This morning, in a rehearsal for next Tuesday's events, the Woodley Park Metro Stop, along with part of Connecticut Ave were shut down because a dude left his SUV double parked and fell asleep. No really. It was an SUV with Florida tags, with the flashers on, double parked on Connecticut. Guess there was also a carpet cleaning van somewhere nearby, and oh noes that's super suspicious! Somehow or another, police become "concerned" for the SUV owner's safety, and then look for him with a helicopter. Supposedly they locate him in a nearby apartment building and officers give him a jump and he legally parks his car, after getting a citation.

Seriously? Really? Well, NBC Washington, if his battery had died and he needed a jump, then HOW WERE HIS FLASHERS ON? HOW WERE HIS FLASHERS ON? EH? EH?

God, I hope no one orders a pizza on Jan 20 anywhere near the restricted zone. Which is, now, pretty much everywhere.

By the way, if you're looking for information about that, forget about checking with DDOT. The District has made a new web site for Inauguration, with Facebook groups and Twitter! But all the damn maps are in PDF format, and the web site is terribly not helpful. Maybe information about how they are going to get 500,000 people here to see Bruce Springsteen and Bono on Sunday night is there, but hell if I could find it. Couldn't find information on road closures for anything other than Jan. 20 or the BET Awards on Jan. 18. But they can TWEET to me about how AWESOME OBAMA AND BIDEN ARE! Oh, and how honored the District of Columbia is to be hosting the inauguration of the 44th President. 'Cause you know, we narrowly edged out Gaithersburg, Md. and Keokuk, Ia. in hosting the event.

So yeah, get ready kids. Oh and when you're out partying on Inauguration Day, remember to watch out for the gang wars that are going on in your newly gentrified neighborhoods. Yet another shooting on Monday night at 14th and Fairmont, where a group of masked gunmen open fire at a rec center. But of course that's on the bad side of 14th and more than 1 block away from the Target (its 2) so you probably didn't even hear about the shooting.

Oh, and don't let Nancy Pelosi rickroll you. Really? That's what you pay your staff to do? God, if you've got that much money to blow on useless payroll, I've got a few full-of-themselves college graduate acquaintances who want to work for the progressive majority!


  1. I had enough of gangs. Had a gun to my head once. I outran FOUR urban youths.

    Virginia, buddy.

  2. Regarding the pdf maps of the inauguration road closures - the best feature is that they say "For Official Use Only - Not for Public Distribution" at the bottom.

  3. Thank you for so accurately stating my rants, plus some. I fully expect, given the media accounts of the MASSES expected, that DC will just sink back into the river from which it was spawned.

  4. Love the Drudge light show.

  5. Ahhh, good 'ol Keokuk, Ia. Been there twice, its the stinky stubbly armpit of the Midwest or the Prince Georges County of Iowa, if you will.

  6. Allz I gottsta say is... Hurricane Isabel.
    ya dig?
    This town ALWAYS gets it wrong.
    Snow accumulation, test scores, mph gusts...always wrong.

  7. See, I think that DC is just capitalizing on situations by making them an "emergency" when they would normally be ignored. A couple of weeks ago we had a shutdown of the neighborhood in which I work because of an abandoned styrofoam cooler.

    And I thought the same thing about the flashers.

  8. It would not surprise me to learn that modern fancy cars have separate batteries to power the hazard flashers. These are mostly LED's now and don't need much juice to run - some camera batteries would do it. And it's a good idea, right? If your car battery or engine is dead, you may still need the hazard flashers. Maybe more so.

    If it's not an actual feature, it should be.

  9. The Nation's Capital will celebrate the effective, efficient security measures during the recent Inauguration festivities at the National Bollard Festival.

    See http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2009/01/25/celebrate-inaugural-security/