A goose holocaust and a panda conspiracy

One hundred Canada geese were euthanized in the Olney community of Waterview for the heinous crime of pooping. If there is such a thing as cosmic balance, the members of the homeowners association (the ironically named "Environ") who made the decision will be slowly and painfully eaten by coyotes.

In other dead animal news, the same rat poison that killed two red pandas at the National Zoo last year also sickened some zoo workers at the time. For some reason, they were first driven to a Metro station before being taken away in an ambulance, and told to hide their place of employment from medical personnel. The zoo released employee accounts that largely blacked out, presumably due to matters of national security (Washingtonese for "you don't need to know how completely retarded we are").