Everyday, they don't never come correct

Googling yourself: it's faaaaaannn-tastic. However, I'm having trouble linking to this particularly good entry at Art is For Losers about the author's call to 911 a few months ago. So here it is, in its entirety:

why i hate dc

setting: 11pm, my apartment, i wake up to the sound of a woman screaming

get the fuck out of my apartment
door slam
something breaking
door slam
get the fuck out of my apartment now goddamnit
get the fuck out

911: hello, 911 what's your emergency
me: hi, the woman next door, she's screaming for a man to leave her apartment and he won't
911: a woman is screaming? what's she saying?
me: she screaming for some guy to leave her apartment, and he won't. and there's alot of door slamming and things breaking i think. she's really yelling.
911: where is the screaming coming from?
me: from the apartment next door
911: and you can hear her?
me: yes, i can
911: what's the address?
me: it's 1715 18th street nw, apartment 703
911: okay, you said 1518 17th street.
me: no, it's 1715 18th street.
911: okay, apartment number 604?
me: no, it's apartment 703, 1715 18th street apartment 703
911: have you seen anyone come out of the apartment?
me: no, i haven't seen either of them. but i hear them
911: i'll send a car to 1518 17th street immediately
me: no, the address is 1715 18th street. apartment 703. do you have that?
911: yes, i have it. what's your name please?
me: donald, i'm in the apartment next door, 702.
911: okay, i'm sending a car to 1718 15th street. is that nw or sw?
me: no, listen, it's 1715 18th street nw. apartment 703. do you have that? did you understand?
911: i'm sending a car right now. what's your telephone number please.
me: it's ___-____
911: do you still hear them yelling?
me: no, it's stopped now. it's quiet.
911: are they still in the apartment?
me: i don't know, i can't hear them anymore.
911: could you check?
me: what? check? check to see if they are there?

so, i'm standing in the kitchen, smoking a cigarrette watching the street. one cop goes by. then another. then one stops, then backs up and parks. cop gets out. goes to the mcdonald's. 20 minutes later, cops arrive at my building and come upstairs. knock on neighbors door. no answer. then they leave. and then they call me. and ask what was going on.

boy, i feel safe.

posted by art the loser Tuesday, March 16, 2004

911 is a what, now? Joke, that's right.

And even when they fuck up and people die, they can't get fired.

Moral: Do not get into a situation where you need a cop in D.C. You will die before they arrive, perhaps of violence, perhaps of old age.