If you miss a day, you miss a nothing

A lot of people in Washington got a snow day or two last week. And yeah, it probably wasn't necessary. We got a lot of snow, but none of it really stuck to the roads because the temperatures stayed high.

But, still: snow day! The normal human reaction should be: DUDE! Or, perhaps even SWEET!

Ooops, not so fast! This is Washington. The proper reaction is to bitch about how much better they are at dealing with the snow up in "New" England. (Wow, I'm shocked that a region with a snowier climate handles snow better.) The reasoning being that we're wimps and we suck for taking a day off, because we're wasting a billion dollars and there are bureaucrats starving in China or something.

My favorite part:

The essential lesson of welfare reform, of school reform, of corporate reengineering is that if you set expectations high and give people the necessary tools, they will rise to the challenge. Consistent with the Bush administration philosophy, that insight should guide a new strategy of preemption when it comes to snow.

Ohhh, it's all clear to me now! Our inability to handle snow is solely the fault of filthy liberals. OF COURSE. FUCKING BRILLIANT. I'M GOING TO GO SHOVE ICE PICKS THROUGH MY EYELIDS.

I love it. Even a snow day acts as a vehicle for political blame in this town. Genius.

Can't a snow day just be a snow day? I, personally, left work early Thursday. (I've already lost one car to snow-driving idiots; I need to preserve my one remaining car.) The day wasn't a total waste; I got some phone errands done at home. And you know what? Even if I take off one day, that's OK, because there are still INFINITY NUMBER OF DAYS IN MY LIFE LEFT TO WORK. I think I can take half a day off without upsetting the delicate circle of life.

Besides, let's not kid ourselves: nobody in this town actually does anything useful. You know what the FCC did when it got back to work? I'll tell you. What they did. Or maybe CNN will.

A love scene from the canceled TV show "Angel" that showed a female character turning into a vampire and biting her partner's neck did not overstep federal indecency rules, the Federal Communications Commission ruled Friday.

It was one of two scenes from a November 2003 episode of "Angel" that were not "sufficiently graphic or explicit to render the program patently offensive" by contemporary standards, the FCC said in denying an indecency complaint from the Parents Television Council. [Bunch of fucking prudes. -ed]

One scene involved Angel in an intimate moment with a female character in which Angel's hips are seen "moving back and forth," the Parents Television Council said in its complaint.

In the scene depicting the female vampire biting the neck of her partner, also a vampire, both characters had clothes on and "their breathing is heavy," the complaint said.

(Actually, if you must know, it was Spike and Harmony, not Angel.)

So, there you go. Heaven forbid the FCC take off a single extra day off work, for they would not be able to come to the conclusion that it's OK for me to watch vampire sex.

Congratulations, Washington! You have snow snobs, PTC prudes, and vampire sex adjudicators. And they all do their part to keep the world turning.