This is your brain on drugs

You know how when someone loses on The Price Is Right, they play that sound effect of a few sad tuba notes and a downcast trumpet sting? For the lack of a better musical onomatopoeia, it sounds like "bum-bump-a-nahhhhh, waaaaaaaaa."

If there was an adjective to describe that sound, it would also apply to recent events in the life of mayor-for-life-slash-national-laughingstock Marion Barry. First, he was hospitalized with "pneumonia" (wink). Then, a judge ordered his wages garnished for failure to pay a debt left over from his campaign.

And now, his son Chris has been arrested under suspicious circumstances:

When they arrived, the document indicates, the officers heard loud music and smelled "a strong odor" they suspected was marijuana. After no one answered the door, the officers opened an unlocked door, according to the document.

Barry, the report states, then tried to close the door on the officer's arm. Barry, who was apparently alone in the apartment, then put Officer M. Fanone in a headlock and "began striking" the officer "numerous times with a closed fist," according to the report.

Oh man... this calls for some Final Draft action.

INT. CHRIS BARRY'S BEDROOM

[MARION BARRY enters carrying a mysterious wooden box. CHRIS knows he's been caught and looks guilty.]

MARION: You've been smoking marijuana! Where did you get this from? Who taught you to do this?

CHRIS (after a dramatic pause, tearful but loud): You, all right? I learned it from watching you!

[MARION has a sad, guilty look on his face.]

VOICEOVER: Parents who use drugs have kids who use drugs.

MARION: Uh-oh, I'm hearing the voices again.