Nice try, Examiner. Come back when you're more crazy.

Still futilely trying to win the hearts and minds of Washington's Richie Riches: it's the Examiner! (And I promise to call it "Examiner" and not "Express" throughout the whole post this time.)

What are they advocating now? What does whitey want? (WDWW?)

Let's see... property taxes are too high. A.k.a., "Boo hoo, my house's value went way way up last year!" Always a popular subject. Of course, homeowners already get a tax break on mortgage interest. I'm not so lucky with my monthly rent, which, BTW, further restricts my ability to afford a house in the future. That's essentially an extra tax on renters, who have less equity to begin with.

But don't worry about that. This editorial will certainly appeal to rich homeowners, who love to be told they shouldn't have to actually pay taxes. So, well played, Examiner.

But not well-played enough! The Times fires back:

Any parent with a child in a public school has likely discovered our education system is little more than a means by which liberals indoctrinate children with socialist ideology.

If this seems a radical assertion, I assure you it is not. In fact, examples abound indicating its accuracy.

Take the "community box," for instance. How many elementary school kids across the country show up the first day of school, only to have their brand-new supplies pilfered by their teacher and thrown into one big box, to be distributed henceforth as said teacher sees fit? (Karl Marx also had very little regard for private property rights.)

OMGGGG!!! That is balls-out insane!

See, you just can't compete with the Times. The liberals in our public schools are teaching kids a socialist ideology. Of course! Why didn't I see it before? It all makes sense to me now. Gallagher is funny.

Advantage: Times. Personally I thought we were, like, over socialism as a threat to our Christ-fearing society, but you can't fault the Moonies for going for an old standby. We're all winners with the Times around. Err, I mean... a few of us are winners. Otherwise it's socialism.