Defense wants book on sniper case blocked

Chief Moose: the big fat sell-out with the funny name.

Make that former Chief Moose. He resigned from the force in order to profit from his upcoming book, capitalizing on his celebrity status after appearing on TV multiple times during last year's sniper crisis (but failing to actually make any headway on the case).

Now, it looks like the Moose's new book might also jeopardize the murder trial of our favorite terrorist snipers. The book is scheduled to come out two weeks before the trial begins.

Mr. Moose's 336-page book is already on sale on Amazon.com for $16.77, where it is advertised as a "behind the scenes" look at "the most terrifying three weeks of any month in recent history."

"Now, a year after those horrific events, comes a book by the man whose courage, integrity, and tenacious dedication helped to finally crack the case," the ad reads.

URRRRRRRGHHHH. He clearly has no integrity, and the tip-off to the snipers' location when they were finally arrested fell into his big fucking lap. A truck driver called in the license plate of the snipers' car. A truck driver caught the snipers. Snipers who had been stopped earlier by police and released because they were looking for "a white car with white people."

And yet, Moose's fans continue to heap praise on him. Whatev.