Stupid news roundup

I don't even know where to start.

I guess I'll go boring first. The D.C. Juvenile Justice Agency chief resigned under pressure following a series of Post articles. Thus, following this common trend: 1) Authority figure fucks up at job. 2) Post writes four-part feature. 3) Fuck-up resigns. 4) Post prints self-congratulatory follow-up article.

Meanwhile, the District is going ahead with its commuter tax lawsuit. If the preliminary goings-on are any indication... should be hilarious.

D.C.'s also appears to be going ahead with vouchers, with Mayor Williams meeting behind closed doors with the Repblican Caucus to request funding. I haven't seen anyone address the fact that $7,500 generally won't get you enrolled in jack squat in D.C.

Why are there so many murders in the District? Apparently, because of PCP. Also known as wack, or angel dust. I disagree; the real problem is that people in Washington just don't seem to care whether other people live or die. Murder witnesses don't come forward; the investigators do a half-assed job (or worse) solving murders anyway; affluent Washington suburbanites would rather see all of the children in Southeast D.C. wallow in severe poverty and shitty schools before giving up a dime to a commuter tax. And, since there's really no way to make people care, the murder problem's not going away.

The corporate culture at McLean-based Freddie Mac apparently encouraged an environment in which it fudged its earnings. The only thing that would surprise me now is if there was a company in McLean/Tysons that didn't fudge its earnings at some point. (Oops, I work at a McLean-based company. Oh well, its probably crooked, too, for all I know.) There doesn't seem to much of a culture of honesty at any company in Washington, so it's kind of fun to see these guys go down in flames on a regular basis.

Yes, that goes for you too, AOL. Subscribers are down at the Dulles-based Internet provider, which, as you may recall, brought forth the ruination of the entire fucking Internet for anyone with more than 10 brain cells. AOL is under SEC investigation for... fudging its earnings, what a surprise... and the that seems to bringing down the stock prices for all of AOL-Time Warner. Schaden... fucking... freude. Now sell my Braves back to Ted Turner, AOL, and I might forgive you. (Probably not though.)

My representative in Congress, Jim Moran, introduced a regional transportation bill that will attempt to coordinate transportation decisions among D.C., Virginia and Maryland, which actually sounds like a good idea. Unfortunately, I can't get my head around the fact that my Congressman hates Jews.

Oh, and we had a good old-fashioned cross burning in College Park, home of the University of Maryland. Which side of the Mason-Dixon line are y'all on, again?